Losing mother to lung cancer, just found out i am pregnant.


I am 21 years old. My mom has been fighting lung cancer for 2 years, and it has spread through her body. She comes home from the hospital tomorrow to stay at home with hospice care. The doctors have told us they seem a possible 3 more weeks for her to be with us. I found out two days ago that I am pregnant. Two home pregnancy tests confirmed. I told my boyfriend last night. He is 20. He was upset, but not angry, and said he was not ready to hae a child. He insisted that he loved me, and wanted to some day share having a child with me but that the time is not right for us. We both work full time jobs that pay decent, and I have a very supportive family so I know finacially we would be able to make it. He says that he would stand by me no matter what my decision is; to keep or abort. I won't count on this though, bc in my mind having this child means accepting I might have to do it as a single mother if not now then at some time in the future. I cant ignore thaat possibility.

I feel SO LOST. I feel that I cant spring this situation on my family with all they are going through, and that my boyfriend is right about it not being the right time for us. But I also think of my mother, and how I love her more than anyone on this earth and the fact that if I continue with this pregnancy that someone could feel that way about me. I know when its said and done my family might be mad at the situation but love my child as much as my nieces and nephews. I don't know how i feel exactly, but I know if i wanted to keep this pregnancy that I might be doing it alone, without the father.

I also think I am only about 3 weeks, so I have researched the abortion pill etc. Any thoughts or words would help. Saying goodbye to my mom and the possibility of saying hello to a new life inside of me is terrifying.


Listen to your heart

That is really tough and I feel for you. I'm in a relationship and pregnant, but I had an abortion when I was 16. We are the same age.

Nobody can tell you what to do. I know that after my abortion I would never have one again, the guilt has been with me for 5 years now. I also know that even if my partner left me, it is better than what I feel about what I did.

If you have anybody to talk to, do it. I posted my story so you might want to read it (under please read). Just remember that this is your decision and whatever way you go, it will always be your decision.

Your mom loves you, whatever, that's what moms do. If it was me I would tell her, although I understand yourfeelings about not hurting her. Mine died when I was 13 so I had nobody to tell.

I'm now 9 weeks and this baby will be born whatever happens, but your decision is for you alone. Just don't get railroaded into anything as I did.

Lots of love.



So, so sorry to hear what you are going through. It sounds like your situation, should you decide to give your baby life, is very good as far as financial and moral support. Even if not everyone stays by you in the end, you will have your baby. Life will continue. Sounds like most likely you will have the support of your oh.

No matter what, though both things you are gong through are "terrifying", the new life you have the opportunity to welcome will be the most wonderful sort of terrifying ... and at the end of the day, new life will mean new joy.

I don't know if this is too sugary, or maybe too sad, but there's a song that might help you; I don't know if you ever heard it:


Hope everything goes well for you and yours in this important time. Peace!


Hope this will help!

Hun, I feel for you. I lost my mum to ovarian cancer many years ago and my bf of 18 years(not my babys father!) to lung cancer only 2 years ago. It is heartbreaking.
However, it sounds as though you want to keep your baby and Im sure your mom will be happy to know she has a grandchild on the way. And , although it is hard, you can make it as a single mother, if you have to. I did. Im sending you a private message with my story. And some info that might help you to make your decision. Please read it, take care and let me know how you make out. xx

Back to top

10 most recent discussions

Number of replies Last post
  Aborting at 17, please help
  My uodate
  First part of medical this thurs..don't know if i can
  Can't cope after abortion ordeal...
  Recovering x
  It's tomorrow ...
  Got my abortion tomorrow
Don't miss...
All The Pinterest Inspiration You Need To Find Your Perfect Pair Of GlassesInspirational Feminist Quotes: Empowering Quotes For Women
Horoscope 2015: what’s in store for you in 2015?United States Of Sexy: American Hotties For Independence Day