18yr old frst time mum need help.
Hi a woman from the ampers site told me about this site so I thought I would see if anyone on here could give me any more advice. I am 18yrs old and im prgnant fr the first time I dint find out until I was over 6 months pregnant and it was really hard to come to terms with I am now nearly 30 weeks pregnant and im due on the 23rd december. My midwife is absolutely useless I have seen her once and she has never taken my bloods or anything she just checked my blood pressure when I went for my scan when I was 28 weeks they told me I was having a baby boy and to make an appointment with my midwife as I was futher on than she first thought that was nearly 2 weeks ago and she has refused to move my appointment to any sooner I dont see her until the 24th october now. I have no idea what labour or anything else is going 2 be like I am absolutely petrified if im totally honest with everyone. I have no idea how to bring up a baby and im so scared that I mess up and im a really bad mum or that I wont bond with my baby any advice and tips would be really helpful please?
Hi I know exactly how you feel.I found out I was pregnant with my 1st baby when I was 6 months too, I was only 16 at the time.I was s*itting myself.Luckily my midwife was really understanding and gave me plenty of advise.If I were you I would make a complaint.Its scary enougth being pregnant anyway, especially when your at a young age.As for having no idea to look after a baby it will come naturally.As soon as you hold your baby in your arms you will feel instant love for the new little life that you have brought into the world.Nothing will ever come close to the feelings you will have.I wish you all the luck in the world and hope all goes well for you and your baby.Take care Gemmaxx
Hey gemma thanks for the comment sorry its taken a while to reply I forgot my username!! Im going to make a comment about her because shehasnt been helpful at all. Thank you again I will keep you updated clairexx
I too was so scared and worried throughout my pregnancy.
Scared of everything and the labour and the thought of bringing up a baby.
But the love that takes you over when you hold your baby for the first time take syou completely over and all fears and silly worries just melt away and it really puts everything into perspective.
That happened for me and at the end of the day you will be so proud of baby boy you have produced. All he needs is you and love and support like we all do.
It really wont be as scarey as you thought, I got through it and know you will too hun.
Big Hugs, well are here for you so your not alone - ever.
Hey thank you for he reply Im mostly scared of the labour and not bonding with my son when hes born but everyone says it comes naturally which is good to know. Thank you again I will keep you updated claire x
I'm a first timer at 41 and feel just as anxious and bewildered - you're not alone. Just think of all the millions of women who have given birth and mothered successfully in the past, without any of the care we expect today: we'll be fine.
I think you do need to complain about your midwife though. Try to speak to the practice manager at your GP surgery; hopefully she will point you in the right direction to complain and get a better service.
I think one of the differences between us is that at 41 I am a lot more confident and assertive than I was at 18. Try to say how you feel and be very firm about your concerns and needs (I know it's really hard when you are feeling emotional and indignant and anxious). Is there someone who can come with you to appointments, maybe your mum or an aunt or a friend? I took my husband to my midwife appt, not just because I needed his support, but because sometimes it takes 2 of you to take in all the information and remember all the questions you wanted to ask.
Write down all of the concerns you have and all the questions you want to ask before you speak to your midwife, or anyone else again, including 'why haven't you done any blood tests?' which does seem really remiss.
Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy and the birth; it is scary and it won't always be easy, but you will make a great mum.
Hi thankyou for the response. I am going to have todo something about my midwife as she is not helpful at all I have text her and still had no response after 2 weeks she hasnt even answered my calls. My mums going to come to the appointments with me in the future as she can help me understand what is going on better and will be able to take it all in as I cant. Thank you I will keep you updated and let you know how I get on hope your pregnancy goes well.
Wat a rubbish midwife!! Sorry youve had to go thru this. My midwife isnt the best either. im 22 and its my first and ive worried about everything, and when you need a bit of reasurance from them, they never seem to be there! Youll probably get more info from all the mums to be on here than from her!
Anyways...Have you been to antenatal classes, apparently they help. Im sure the whole mum thing will come naturally to you. Dont be scared, just enjoy it. God wouldnt have made you a mummy if he didnt think you could so it! Theres lots of good books out there too that give lots of advice. Talking to people who have been thru it also helps.
Good luck hun, ull be just fine with your little boy.
Becky and boy bump 20 weeks x
I no my midwife is useless which isnt a good start Im going to complain and see if she gets any better if not ill change midwifes. No I havent ben to antenatal classes have you? My mum has got me some books to read through which has helped make more sense of everything which is good. Good luck with your pregnancy claire x
hey i see you joined
did you have your apppointment with your GP?
thats totally crap, that she isnt going to move you to an earlier date! thought about maybe putting in a complaint about her?
to be honest claire, i dont think any first time mum knows how bring up a baby, until its actually happening, i feel the same, best you can do is take advice you are given by amount of different people, and magazine, books & internet to help out. Probably just end up coming natural when your little boy arrives
she does sound totally useless. Right go your local library and stock up on birth books the stuff after comes easily enough but its birth you need to be prepared for i had my first at 18 and was fine but my sister she wasnt prepared and it all came as a shock and made the whole thing worse. so at least if you know whats happening then you will feel better for it. Its your first baby so id give the pethadine a go, but wait as long as possible and def get a tens machine it gives you something to concentrate on. Is there anything inperticular your scared of? its not that bad really im on my third now and it gets easier. mail me anytime, good luck. xxx
Hey yeah she is absolutely useless my mum has got me some books to read through which has helped quite alot which is good. Im worried about the birth most of all I am scared to death of hospitals and hate the idea of pain which isnt good really when im going togive birth and I dont like needles so im not much use really. thank you claire x
ring your local hospital they have numbers for all the local antenatal classes and support groups. Also try connexions they put me intouch with a young mums group and it was such a help they teach you everything you need to know. good luck.
I'm 38 weeks tomorrow and i'm 16 years old. I'm also expecting a beautiful boy. Mothering comes naturally, and you are already worrying, if you didn't care and you were going to be a rubbish mum, you wouldn't go to these sites for advice. As soon as you see your baby, i'm sure you'll be fine and love him. Any mum loves their child.
As for your midwife tell her to shape up or you'll change your doctors' surgery. Tell her how you're feeling. My midwife is lovely, but she finds it hard to give me an appointment when she should, because she's so busy, which is stupid. If you ever want to talk, you know my name.
Also, you'll go to antenatal classes soon, (if you wish,) and you can discuss with the other mothers how you feel, you'll be surpised how many other people get depressed in pregnancy! I'm one of them xx Good luck xx
Im 30 weeks tomorrow has your pregnancy been ok? the worst part for me at at the minute is my braxton hicks and sleepless nights. Thanks ill add you to my contact list so we can email easier and quicker aswell. Im glad you had a good midwife im going to try and change mine. good luck email me anytime claire x