my husband works away from home.. he is a rig manager and when we first got together i knew that he would always be away and i dealt with it. He was always on a work schedule of 2 weeks on and 1 week off with spring breakup starting in march until may. in the past 6 months i have noticed that he stays away from home as much as possible. He takes on more work and when he is gone he never calls me. He use to call me every night even if it was just to say he loves me. Now i would be lucky if he called once a week. He also has been taking out money out of the bank and when i ask him what he did with it he never gives me a straight answer. He has become a shady man to me when he is gone and when he comes home. He spends a lot of time on the computer and he rarly talks to me... I know things change after awhile as we have been together for 5 years now. I feel like something is just not right and every time i try to talk with him about how i feel he some how takes it as i want to fight. I dont know how to handle things anymore. I dont know what to do or say. Im sick of sitting at home wondering what he is doing or thinking. Im scared.. my feelings are best described as scared for now. im not angry just confused and hurt.
Has anyone ever been through this? And how did you handle it?

Hi - this is so sad. This sounds so similar to what is happening to me. I think you have to face the fact that he just doesn't want you anymore. It is tough but true.
On a day to day level you should get your own life organised without him. Friends, gym, whatever. Just keep going. Get your finances organised. They are the most essential thing. Don't move out your house if there is a chance you could lose it, or the money from it. If you are renting then you are free to go. Keep calm and keep trying to talk to him. But it looks like the end. It takes 2 to fight so don't give him a fight. If you are like me then when you fight it is you who ends up in tears! I usually end up upset and regretting saying mean things!! He is treating you badly. Keep that in mind. Also keep in mind that you deserve happiness and respect and love.

I truly hope you move on and find happiness. For what it is worth, your posting has reminded me I'm not the only one who is going through a bad relationship - so thank you!!

Good luck to you

xxx

I have been through a similar experience although never married it still felt the same, i think spending all your time alone and thinking about it will not help you.
If he is agressive and wants to argue then leave him for a while go stay with a friend or family member who you can talk to, but Don't stay on your own and don't struggle get some help.
If you have a breathing space you will be able to settle your head and think about how you really feel, it might help him to see what he is loosing too and come after you?
If you have a group of friends then i would say enlist their help too, with as many distractions as they can.

hey hunni

one question: why are you still with this man?

he's away most hours at work and when he is at home he spends his time on a computer? what a selfish man....doesnt he realise what he is doing to you? my advice, sit down and talk to him explain you dont want to fight but you cant go on living life like this, if he takes it you want to fight, i think you'ver got your answer....

could work be stressing him out?
money problems?
some sort of secret addiction?
most ppl who have an addiction tend to be very snappy when you question money so look out for that.
does he drink?
let us know how you are getting on xx