I dont know where to start but i am in a dilemma. I have been with my husband for 5 years and been married to him for 1. I use to be madly in love with him and saw him as my best friend until i found out that he visits porn sites and escort websites. I confronted him and he was very sorry saying that he did it out of curiosity and explained that men need visual stimulation when masturbating whcih i know was hard for him to say but he thought he needs to explain himself fully. he has a busy job and if i am lucky we will have sex twice a week. after finding out what i found out i started feeling horrible about myself like iam not attractive. i worked out and dieting and have lost weight as a result but still dont feel confident enough. anyway since the incident i havent found anything else but i know he has a pc at work and probably he could be continuing his activities there. it hurts me so much that i am seeing him with different eyes now and i dont really trust him. he swore on my life that he never cheated and part of me thinks he is telling the truth. but why do i feel like i dont love him like i use to do, i feel like i have gone off him ( he put on alot of weight which never use to bother me until now, now it is putting me off). i feel like he put me down and even when he says he loves me i dont know if i shoudl believe him or not

what do u think i should do

please help

i feeling the same and i not sure wot to do ,but i no how u feel .thinking of u

What a fantastic message from Jane 3421. She knows men - they love to masturbate - it is a stress relief thing. I have been married to my (3rd time lucky) husband for only 4 months, and he is not in a high stress job - but it is going to become more stressful.as he is gradually being asked to work more hours because the company has been taken over by a more competitive company.

Men are not as strong as women. They need to de - stress by masturbating, and/ or playing sports. My husband masturbates when we can't have sex (he doesn't like having sex during my period). BUT - he does it whilst I give him a 'little show' - I do a striptease, belly dance, or whatever. You could do this too. There are belly dance classes everywhere, and it makes you feel FABULOUS!
I am a big girl, and he loves my curves, simply because I do not subscribe to the idea of being a stick insect. I am a size 18 - 20.The 20 bit is my big boobs, a 40E, to be precise! Other men fancy me, and I am not interested in them, but it helps that I feel good about myself. Do things that cherish you, darling. You deserve it. Your man loves you. He is just relieving his presures by a (very male) escapism. That is all it is.
Your man is a good man. He is not seeing other women, he has not got the time, nor the energy. Thereforte, he is using visual stimulation to have a ... He would far rather have the energy to make passionate love to you, and probably feels terrible about himself.

If you are feeling frustrated, you are allowed to masturbate, too. DO IT! And, tell him you are doing it, and thinking of him. He will love that thought, trust me....

I think what you have to appreciate is that him looking at porn is not about what he feels about you. Also, that a great sex life is not about how much you weigh. Body image seems to be the problem, as you say you have no evidence he is cheating on you. Have you looked at the porn he is watching? If you have not, may I suggest that you do, he may fantasise about women with silicon ... but its just that, fantasy. Also men like to relax by watching and masturbating to porn, its stress relief for them. You say that your man has a busy job, maybe its just stress relief.
Spice up your sex life,talk about your and his fantasies and do something about them. Make it fun, get over your shyness about your body and enjoy it. Look for new ways to please each other, plan to surprise him, be spontaneous some times, turn his fantisies into play,and make sure you let him do the same for you.Allow your self to be naughty if you want good sex.

Its not you, its just how men are.
I'm a fat 49 year old, but who gives a **** my partner certainly doesn't.