Im only 21 but have a one year old son, and iv been with my partner for 3 years.. But things have changed. Since the baby was born he has begun to live what appears to be the 'single life'. Im a very understanding person, and i agree that he deserves 'boy time' with his friends. but going out at 11am and strolling home at 11pm drunk beyond belief every weekend is getting to me!!!!!! Am i mad or is he in the wrong? xxx

Hey there,

why on earth would you think that you are mad!! it is blatantly obvious that he is in the wrong. The reason i know is because i have been there and done that. My ex partner spent the whole of his 2 weeks paternity leave either with his friends, fishing, golfing etc not to mention the bits inbetween. I have felt like a single mother since my little girl was born and she is 2 now!! i was the same as you, very understanding, thinking that he deserves a break etc as he had been working. Then i went back to work myself when my daughter was 6 months old and things still stayed the same, if not got worse. I would have to get up extremely early every morning, bath and dress myself and my little girl, get her off to nursery or my mums (if he couldnt get his lazy arse out of bed) and then i would breeze into work as if i had done a full day already. I would then come home and start again after him lazing on the couch all day playing on his computer. I then started realising that other couples that i knew seemed to have it easier as they shared all responsibility and led a peaceful life; why was mine so darn hectic and tiring. I would always be the one to attend to my little girl if she awoke in the night too regardless of whether i was in work or not, or if he was.
I started to think, why am i being so understanding with him when i deserve a bloody break too (which even when i did i felt guilty about it like i didnt deserve one and not to mention the arguments that i would face for daring to leave my little girl with him).
I have split up with my ex for 3 months now and feel as if life is easier, which is strange. As when he does take my little girl, i get to have 'me time'.
All i am saying is if you really do love him and think that this is just a little spell then nip it in the bud as being 'understanding' just doesnt work. i left things far too long and did try to reason with him but it escalated further and further to a point of no return for me. He is begging for me to take him back and i just dont want it. You get to a point where you have learnt to self comfort and get yourself into your own routine to make life easier for yourself.
I would take a stand and tell him how you feel and hopefully he will snap out of it. I think certain men find it hard to cope with the responsibilty of another human being which is kind of understandable but in my eyes they are just as much responsible as you are.
Hope things work out for you hunny and let us know how you get on.
Love Loo xx

No you are not wrong, I was crazy when I was in my 20's to, but he has a responsibility to you.... I have been married for 25 years and sex us to be great...now when we have it....I get her off...then there is no for play for me...I am not 20 anymore..I am 44, and very active or want to be. But I beg and beg, then when we do have sex, she doesn't kiss my neck and stuff anymore. I just can't perform anymore without some sort of stuff like that. Am I wrong on this....am I missing the boat. Like tonight I got her off and then we had intercorse for sometime, although I was not really turned on I felt like I needed a shower. Anyway, I eventually went down and I got upset, not verbally. I got up and said I need a shower and when I got out,she was laying on the bed and before I could say anything, I was standing there naked. "well I guess I will get up now!" I said wait, I said I just needed to shower, she said I didn't say that and got up. So here I am not satisfied and she went in the living room and got on her little post boards again.
Am I wrong here ?

Hello Im Gimena. Im Spanish. I Know a little of english I dont Know if I could help you. I think that your boy is a irresponsible father, because when you have a boy you cant go out with your friends how you wanted. You have in your life other thins more important to do. You have to talk with him and ask if he want spend his life with you and our baby.

I hope recive another chat. Regret.