Ive been with my partner for over a year now and i love him to bits. Im 20 and he's 39. He's a young looking 39 and he treats me so nice. We live together also and im now expecting my first child with him. Im over the moon!!
Only one problem... He doesnt come near me.
Since we came back off our holiday last August, he has had to be put on these tablets which help with his heart because he's got high blood pressure. As soon as he went on them the sex stopped, the cuddles stopped and the intimacy. He blames it on the tablets and it really got me down to a point where i nearly ended it. It was really getting him down too, as he was never usually like this. Our sex life was fantastic before and yes it is still the same now. We have it twice a month if im lucky. I can understand his reasons if he doesnt feel like it because of his tablets but i cannot live like this. I want a healthy intimate sexlife with him, if we had that our relationship would be perfect.
To make things worse tho, ive caught him a few times on the laptop with porn. It makes me feel so hurt and betrayed. I know also he has mastermated to this so why cannot he come to me!! Thats what hurts the most. He went to doctor about these tabs but he said the tabs were not the problem. I just feel so lonly, unattractive, unsexy and not wanted. I know im expecting his baby but that was just luck!! cant believe im actually pregnant!
Is anybody else going through the same thing..
Please help!

XX

Had exactly this with my ex H. We had a healthy sex life until he went on blood pressure medications. Then overnight things changed. I was sooo frustrated. H revisted the docs and through trial and error found some better medication that helped things greatly. Good luck.

Georgina

i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now,hes 34 iam 37.hes a nice guy, i love him loads, but iam frustrated a lot of the time because he dont want sex often with me, he told me its stress,i feel the same unwanted, unatractive to him,when we do have sex he dont hold himself, and its over in 5 mins.i also cought him with porn pictures on his computer, so i know how you feel, let me know how you get on

I can understand how your feeling in some ways. I am the one that wrote "oops had an affair"
I went through the fantastic sex life to none over night at first I thought he was having an affair so i asked him he said no, I asked him if he was pleasuring himself he said no, I then thought he didn't find me attractive anymore I stopped eating lost lots of weight he said that wasn ... he just didn't want to have sex then told me I was a sex pest. I suffer from depression which I need to keep a close eye on well this sitution didn't help went to a counsellor asked him to come with me he said "No there's nothing wrong with me". which made me worse. I used to do everything I could think of to make him notice me but I got to the point where I was fed up of being rejected. So I told him how I felt that I need things to change or I'll leave. He doesn't know I've cheated. I know I've the worst thing I could ever do to someone that is to sleep with someone else I'm not going to try and blame it on him but i needed to feel loved and wanted, I'm not saying you should do this either.
But you need to have a hard think you want your baby to be born into a loving relationship don't you? then you need to confront him could it be because your pregnant, he might be scared he might hurt the baby if you have sex thats not uncommom to hear. Maybe you should suggest counselling.
Best of Luck, hope you can work it out.
Big Hugs

Hi Jodie and bump
When i was pregnant my husband didnt come near me too some men although love it when there wives or partners are pregnant are scared to make love for fear of hurting the baby.
Try talking to him again and get him to see a doctor to confirm that making love cannot hurt the baby.
Its worth a try

Goodluck

Hi jodie, my advice is 2 maybe just forget 4 1 minute that ur pregnant and think about ur relationship..really think about how u feel and if u can put up with these feelings ur having especially with ur hormones all over the place at the mo,the last thing u need is stress! but if u've had proof that the problem isn't the tablets and u know theres nothing wrong with his mind over sex if u've caught him looking at porn then maybe u'll have 2 come 2 terms that maybe his feelings have changed 2wards u,(sorry 2 say that) i no how u feel as my 1st serious relationship was sort of the same but it was me that felt off with him and we have 2 kids together but we split up so many times even while i was pregnant, but now we're not together and i've moved on to have another baby with someone else who i love more then anything and we have remained friends 4 the children... so maybe its just not meant 2 be...and wouldnt u rather raise a child in a happy environment then 1 filled with worry and stress..it might seem hard 2 get ur head around at 1st, infact it will be...but theres always light at the end of the tunnel...xxx

Good luck anyway in what ever u decide 2 do and if u fancy more of a chat about it then please add me as mate as i could do with some advice aswell at the mo...lol...xxx

Hi katie

Well maybe your right. I dont know. I had a chat with him last night and he said he feels bad about it but ive told him that i have needs too. The thing is, i dont think hes going off me, it's strange but i just dont get them vibes. I feel loved in all ways possible, apart from the sex thing. He told me that it's because he feels unnatractive and has low self asteem. I feel awful because it made me feel like i was doing something wrong by not telling him enough that he's perfect for me. He has let himself go a bit and he has but on a bit of weight but hes joined a gym now. He said it wont be long till he gets his confidence back and then things will be back to normal. I so hope that he's right and telling the truth!!!

Jodie xxx

It sounds to me like maybe he's telling the truth..us women no more than anyone what it's like to feel unattractive when puttin on a few pounds and i no that when im feeling good it shows alot more in that area.
At least u've said something about it, that says alot about ur relationship to speak openly about it, u should never feel bad about saying how u feel tho, otherwise it would never get resolved.
U sound like u really love him, so now i think maybe u should really show him so that his confidence grows quicker.. i no this might sound a bit far fecthed but maybe u could suggest watchin porn together..it works for some couples as they can turn u on aswell....me and my fella used 2 watch them until 1 nite i got in a silly depressed mode and got jealous...lol, but it can help get that spark back sometimes..(just a suggestion)

i'm sure u'll be fine as ur happy in every other way..

good luck.....

Katie..xxxx