|
|
|
|
|

|
 |
 |
 |
| Discussion boards |
Topic List |
Help |
Search |
| Thread started by: | "Why doesn't he trust me?" Posted by brm2007 18 October at 07:47
My partner and I have been together for more than 3 years - we have a baby due next week and its been a rough trot but we have made it through! Anyway, we broke up briefly last year before X-mas, only for 2 weeks or so and in that time although I did go out with friends etc (to take my mind off the break up), I never so much as looked at another man let alone sleep or kiss someone! Its now a year later and he still questions me and does not believe me when I deny it...he thinks the reason I get so worked up about it is because I am guilty - I am just sick and tired of not being trusted!
To add to this, about 9 months ago (pure coincidence!) I went to visit my aunty & uncle one afternoon, I hardly ever see them and have 3 young cousins and I just wanted to visit to say hi...he now says he doesn't believe thats where I went...this was 9 months ago now....CHRIST!!! I was only gone for a few hours they only live a suburb away.
He just doesn't trust me, he continues to question my past and when I get pissed off about it (remember I am hormonal too!) he thinks its because I am guilty of something...how can I live like this? I love him to bits hence wy I have NEVER cheated on him! Even if I catch up with friends he asks what we talked about, if I just say "stuff" or whatever he thinks we were talking about men, or penises or god knows what!!! If he doesn't get the answer he wants he will continue to PUSH for it even when there is nothing to tell! Then he thinks I am trying to hide something or that I discuss our personal issues with other people...I must admit I used to when we had problems but now I keep things to myself as thats they way he wants it (I respect that).
How can he not trust me, we have both done silly things to each other but I have never been with anyone else - nor have I wanted to. I am backed into a corner arent I?
|
|
| Messages: | | "Very often a simple reason..." Posted by glynda 20 October at 23:09
when i think back over my experience and that of my friends...whenever a partner has been so accusing and so paranoid...its been because they themselves had been untrustworthy...if not actually doing anything certainly mucking around on the edge of it!! what he is doing is very controlling and its not ok-he needs to be told this-that you simply will not be a part of a situation like this!! tell him that the subject is closed -that he has been told and that is the end of it!! as for talking to your friends...i wouldnt go broadcasting stuff to all and sundry but we all need to talk about stuff to our closest friends-there is nothing wrong with this-just choose carefully who you talk to-and he needs to realise that you can and will talk to people-and if you and the girls discuss penises or whatever so what???? be careful of allowing him to be more controlling by saying you respect his wishes...you rally dont need this when you are about to have a baby do you? it can be very isolating when you have a bub and with someone controlling like this its more so coz if you go out to get some "me time" or meet up with friends or other mums you are going to come home to accusations arent you?? dont let this happen-while you are in hospital to have your bub,ask the staff about a referral to a relationship counsellor-he needs to get a handle on this and to know that its not ok to be this way and that conversations you have with friends are private and that thats ok!!! this needs dealing with-things like this get worse over time...and really...what i said first...people who accuse often do so because they have cheated themselves....this wont go away -talk to him about getting help ok? best wishes to you xx
|
|
|
|  | |