"Leaving my country, my job, friends, family and starting a new life with him "

Hi

I'm going out with a 27 year old French guy living in Liverpool. We've been together for 4 months now. I'm actually living in France (I'm French myself) and it gets more and more difficult to get over the distance... We try to see each other once, twice a month but it's not easy at all...

To sum things up, we've known each other for 3 years.. We met in Germany when we were both erasmus students.. I dated him a month but our relationship couldn't really work. He had just broken up after we've met, and he directly went out with me... I didn't know if it was the right thing to do... we were just happy, having a nice time together without thinking about the future. Anyway, over this month, his ex girl friend kept on asking him many times to give her another chance, which he accepted after thinking about it (they were dating each other for 6 years so the decision was not easy to make)...
I didn't want to influence or change his mind because I didn't know myself what I wanted with him and that was the end of our relationship.
I went back to France, he stayed in Germany and over 3 years I almost didn't have any news of him and didn't try myself to talk or write to him. I met a nice guy, lived with him 2 years, went through personal problems and this relationship came to an end at the beginning of this year 2006.

My ex (the one I met in Germany) heard of the news and tries to get in touch with me to see how I was feeling, he had broken up in the meanwhile with this ex girlfriend..
In May I went back to Germany in the city where we get to know each other with other friends and he came on purpose as well... I was excited to see him again after such a long time.. So did he.
I could't stop thinking of the past... I guess I'd never forgot him actually... He apologized again and again for his past mistake, cried in front of me realising what he missed all that time... After 3 years I forgot and forgave him and the same week end we went back together without surprise..

1000 miles are taking us apart since then... When we're together I feel so great, I feel in love, it's just wonderful... and when he's away, I can't help wondering what I do deeply feel for him...

I know I won't be able to bear such a long distance relationship, I need to share more with him..

I went to visit him in Liverpool, I enjoy being there but I wonder if I would be able to settle there one day. I must admit he has got a good job as a project manager. My job in France is ok, quite well paid but not the job I always dreamed of... I've got here in France all my friends around, my family as well... so the question is what to do ? Leaving my life here and start everything from scratch in Liverpool with him ? Is it normal to be so down to earth when you're supposed to be in love ? I guess it's linked with the prior disappointment I had with him 3 years ago I don't want to be wrong this time again...

I'm also afraid of having to find a new job in the UK, I wonder if I would be able to adapt, build new friendships... I used to live in other european countries for a year or so but this time I feel not so confident because it implies no close coming back (even if he wants to work in the UK for 3 years at the latest)...

Please let me know your opinion about the whole story ? WOuld you be able to switch your life for your boyfriend Is it worth it ?

Thanks for your help, hope you understand most of my english charabia

Is he worth it of your sacrifices ?

...to have tried and failed than to have not tried at all! The question you need to ask yourself is if you don't move then will you regret it in the future?

You can always move back to France if things don't work out. If you really love him and he loves you then I would go for it! You only live once!!!!!

Best of luck....keep us posted on what you decide!

Much love Laura xxxxx

hi lamisspiplette,
i am a "good pakistani girl" brought up in britain and when my grandfather chose a man for me to marry, i did "the right thing".
my whole life i lived in London, went to school there, college, university, work, everything. i travelled with friends to africa and holidayed with family in the middle east, asia and america.
i was 26 when i agreed to marry and within four months of my engagement i was married...and living in pakistan with my stranger husband and his family. my own immediate family came for my wedding and returned to london 5 days later.
so there i was, no family, no friends but a whole lot of new faces i had to learn the names of and a new culture and environment i had to adapt to!
that was almost six years ago.
we have a four year old son now, and i cannot imagine living without my husband or son...i love them both more than life itself.
it has not been easy, we have roaring arguments, but we made a commitment to each other and will do all we can to set a good example to our son of how family should be.
i think what i am trying to say is that if you decide that you want to share your life with your boyfriend then you should do so wholeheartedly and remain commited to that decision. it will not be easy, but making a few sacrifices initially can prove to have a positive impact on your future...
whatever you decide, i wish you all the best...
*hug*

u have to risk something to go up in live!iam german and iam married to a british soldier,we live in germany but we been in uk before maybe the army sen us next year to canada,so i have to leave my friends and familie all the time and my husband mark is quite often away, but u get use to it and start to make the best of things when he is not there,fining new friends or maybe new hobbies or so,dont give up and almost not him again u cant find out when u not try!!i which u all the best+good luck for your future...

well you could ask yourself the question ''would he leave everything for me'' if not then maybe he isn't the guy for you, i mean its all about meeting each other half way, per say. I guess you could always go for an extended holiday and see how it goes...because living together will be very different from long distance, and you will get to know each other so much better and will see if you are right for one another.

i red all of your stories and i'd really need to tell you mine..but it's quite difficult..cause i don't have a real and concreat story..that's just probably and illusion ..i hope that u'll be able to tell my your opinions..abut it..

i spent 3magical weeks in u.s.a. cali, last month..i lived in a college with the other italians and foreign friends i knew there..but not only those..
there where many leaders,from the many countries of many european groups came there...and american leaders too..and on eof those ..a boy.......
we started knowing each other after about a week since the day i arrived in the college..i met him before yeah..but we started talking about our lifes later..during a dance -night for welcoming..

we spoke for about 1 and half..it's been awesome..cause i finally knew he loves music,so singing and playing as i do,and is a teacher of english,loves travelling and he is a nice boy too..i mean he seems not to be a jerk.....

i coulnd't realize i met him..cause i almast escaped from italy for a while ...for my ex boyfriend..i was very disappointed on him..

i 'm 18 now and he is 25 years old..from the south..
i though he was so special..and i'm still thinking about him..
we decided to sing together so,i asked him to learn an italian romantic love-song (he probably understood the sense)..and he gave me some lyrics i was looking for..after some days we found playing with his guitar and me singing..together that song....before leaving..he had to leave the college for somedays for a trip while i would have had to come back home..and we had to say goodbye early..too early..

the night we sang was that last night i could stay with him..and before singing there was a karaoke night they (leaders) organized for me(i sing here in italy)
he spent all his time next to me..too lovely..looking for the songs i could sing in front of everyone...O.o''
but the important thing was that he was there..not so far as he is now..
while i was choosing the song..he wrote to me nice words like'i pry u won't forget me..''live like there is not tomorrow..love like there is not tomorrow..''please let's keep in touch wherever you maight go..' and i red it when i was already in bed..

i really felt like i was in love..and im still doing it..(silly girl)

the last minute he could stay there..so before he left the college,he gave me one of his shirts...i'm using it as my sleeping shirt !!
I'm probably just crazy...but everytime i look forward the next tim i 'll chat with him..
i think he knows and has always known i like him a lot..i gave him a card for his b'day (exactly one month before mine)
so we 've been keeping in touch for real..sending emails..and chat..
almast every day.. i'd love to have him here..but even if because of him now i love u.s.a. a bit more i already wanted to go study abroad....i reaaally dunno what to do..
i have some special tickets for flights and i'm seriously thinking to use them someways..going there..in the country he lives in..in xmas..

what do u think about this...about my situation..and (i'm sorry^^'')my story...

i have to say we have never been TOGETHER
we only could talk a lot...before and now in chat..
he asked me for drawing a tattoo he wants to get on is body..and i asked him for a little place in his house if i eventually came there..he said yes..

c'mon i'm such a writer or like that^^''''' so sorry and really thank u tons if u could read all of this..!
but PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR OPINIONS..I REALY NEED THEM...TO KNOW HOW TO ACT.. HOW TO THINK..
I CANNOT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM THIS IS THE TRUTH and as have happened many times i've no problems in staying awake al night long to talk with him..like for8hours the first times we were talking...i was not on age when we met..anyway..now i am 18..will it cahnge anything??
i don't really know how are like the american and southern guys..so i REALLY NEED YOUR HELP..! please tell me ..
g'night girls...i realy have to thank u tons if u could read alllll of this...
giulia

to be with my now husband,we got married here last year and I would do it all over again because he is the love of my life.

We had a long distance relationship many years ago(me in UK and him in Spain)for 4yrs then decided at 20 we were too young so we went our separate ways.
After 10yrs of being apart we got in touch with each other again and more or less started off where we had left off,the love had never died,it was amazing.
If you love someone so much and they love you anything is possible.I,d say go for it,at least you can give it a go,why not?The hardest thing for me was adapting to the fact that I didn,t have my 7brothers or sisters or my parents around,everything else I adapted to fairly easy,although I,m not sure you could comre Spanish life to life in the UK.
Good luck with your decissionI wish you every happiness for the future.

salut lamisspiplette,
évidemment si tu l'aimes,fonce!De plus,que risques-tu à quitter ce que tu as?Mais pense aussi à ce que tu vas gagner.Pense à cette expérience enrichissante que tu vivras quoi qu'il arrive,vivre à l'étranger,découvrir de nouvelles coutumes,améliorer son anglais(ce qui sera un grand plus si tu décides de revenir en France),se faire de nouveaux amis...
Bon courage.Biz
Sonia

Hi!
I am living in Canada and met on the net a guy in the Netherlands yeaahhhh! you heard me...Netherlands....I know him now for 6 moths...was love at first sight (on cam) He came in Canada for vacation in September (7-23rd) Wow....was what we expected...We want to live with each other ..I have a 6 years old son...so I cannot move over there...was hard but he thought about it....leaving his friends, familly, job , the only country he lived.....was hard...a lot of crying ...and he finally decided that he wants to grow old with me and wants to marry me and make a familly with me and my son......If you have too much questions going on in your mind....think it over a bit more....I know that we are apart and we have to wait a year before being with each other(sale the house, put aside some money,ect) So.....if you have doubts....dont do any moves..This is what I think...but ...you will know for sure what to do soon!!!!!!!
Izzzy1 xxxxxx good luck with your future decision!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I don't really have a whole lot to say, just that I'm kinda in a similar situation. Personally I think it's worth it if you really think he is the one you want...my girlfriend and I met 3 1/2 to 4 years ago when she came to the US...maybe even before that. We're both still in school, but I wouldn't trade her for anybody else in the world. I'm visiting her this december over my winter break, and planning on proposing. It will be a while before we actually get married, but I think she's worth it, and she apparently feels the same since it does take two after all...If it were reversed, I do think I could move over there for her, but that is very easy to say. doing it would be another story. Anyways, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one who has such a relationship. Either way, I wish you the best of luck with the entire thing.

hi I think you shoud go for it.You can allways go back home if things dont work out.If you dont take the chance you wont no will you.You might look back and said i should have went good luck.

Dear lamisspiplette!
I am writing to you twice today!
You have tried to help me eariler and I will try to give my advise to you as you were my best friend. Honestly i think you should not rush, it is a big step.
Listen now... I met my husband over internet, we knew eacother many months, he came to my country we became lovers we were so happy and so in love and in few months we got enagaded. We knew we had to stay all our life together.we never faught, everything was so perfect, i felt happy, loved it was heaven... So i said goodbye to everything my family, friends, job, school everything I had .I paid a big price just to be with him. And at the begining i was happy we had love , we got a child,we were over the moon and I never thought what I did was wrong,giving up everything to be with the person i love. But as the time passed by adn our marriage was bad and he chaeted many times i realised that i did a mistake to leave everything for one man.When he turned his back on me I realise I lfet so many imortant things and I felt regreting everything. I have also a friend here who left everything for a man and she got divorsed and she is now many years alone a single mum and regreting too.Now if I want to divorce then any way i can never go back home cause of my child and his right to be with hs dad and mum in the same time ,so I am stuck here far away form hoime, cheated on and lonely...
But dont want to scare you.There is also many happy people who left everything and never had any regreds and were pure happy. I dont know how your rellationship is like and dont know how much really you know him and how much you love him?
But only tink good before you totally giving up on your previous life and the people you care.
I am sorry if i sounded rude, I just told you my opinion.
Goof luck, hope for the best for you.

i'm italian and i'm moving to london within the next few months just to stay with my love... i'm damn scared but i'm sure i'm doing the right thing!

Mine's in Sweden, Im in the UK.