I am in my 40's and I have thick hair...when it is not thinned out it gets very wild...I have it short right now...I can not have the styles that are out there now I need body on the top I am not one that can have the straight look since I also have some curl to my hair...any suggestions or websites I can look at to give me some idea on what to do with this mess...

Recently i found a site with latest hairstyles, i think this can help you the best. You can also find more celebrity hairstyles.
www.hairstyles53.com

Firstly it determines whether you hair is really course wirey etc.
I have many clients who have wirey hair and growing it can sometimes enhance the problem. sometimes razoring can really soften the look if it is too bulky and steppy, but the main key i'm afraid is down to the styling when it comes to your hair, make sure you soften your hair right up, kerastase masque intense for thick hair is amazing, expensive but works! don't use mouses as this will thicken hair unless you want crunchy curly hair. straighteners are great not just for straightening, i use them for calming thick hair down while bending the hair, so you don't get that dreaded split end poker straight look. Look on youtube and sometimes they will show you how to do it. Hope this helps x x