Ever since i had my first child i have wanted to have a BA after breastfeeding. 6 months later i got pregnant again so was back to breast feeding for my second child so you can imagine what that did to my boobs. I had mentioned having Breast surgery to my partner on and off for the past 3 years or so but never seriously until now (the more weight im losing the worse my boobs are looking)last night i was reading some information from mybreast and he enquired if i was having a boob job. So i said to him well yeah im thinking of it as ive mentioned many times before and he went mad started telling me he would leave me and that i will be showing them off all over the place? even was cheeky enough to tell me he basically ashamed of his family knowing!!! Here was me thinking he would help me out financally!!! fat chance of that now! I cant believe he acted this way i dont know what to do?? Any advice or did anyone elses partner react so badly? Im so shocked as when i mentioned it in the past he didnt seem bothered at all?

luckily my husband was really supportive, ever since we met i had said i wanted it done, never actually thought i would have the money to do it though! after my first child i was addament i wanted it and luckily hubby was 100 percent behind me because he knew how badly i wanted it, he even paid for it. luckily hes not the jealous type so he doesnt mind too much when i have low tops on, but all i can tell you is that its one of the best desisions i ever made although not to delude you, it was VERY painful for the first few weeks, more so than i ever thought it would be, but sooo worth it in the end, im pregnant again now though i just hope they dont get ruined!

quite simply he is afraid of losing you .I run a surgery abroad website ,its a common problem I see all the time hubbies and boyfriends going stroppy.He probably loves you to death and is worried that every man is going to take you away.I know the reaction of everyone else is how dare he etc.You can help him get used to the idea by telling him you are only going to fill up to the size,you normally are,then you can suggest maybe a size bigger later on.He obviously doesn't have a problem with you ,the way you are,which is good however, as mum always says men come and go,you make decisions for yourself.By the way all the men soon changed their ideas once they saw the finished result.Hope this helps alex

Before I even had my 2 children I had talked of wanting a boob job but at the time I was too scared of the risks -i.e. alot of bad publicity.
Anyhow only recently after he caught me doing lots of research on the internet he just walked out of the room and then a while later he asked lots of questions about the dangers.
The shock came one night when he said he'd support me doing it but what would he get out of it as he didn't want me teasing him and not letting him get his mitts on them. I told a few fantasy stories about what I would do to him with my new boobs- this worked a treat !

I mentioned this to my fella who says exactly this................ infact I will let him type it (excuse the bloke talk lol, maybe there should be another website for men to discuss their cosmetic surgery experience....... but for now forgive mine for borrowing ours).

Hi, Yeah yeah typical insecure bloke response!. Either dump him or ask him to talk to you...and explain his worries and fears. Hopefully - as long as the love is there you'll both get it sorted and be happy. It breaks my heart when partners start using the kids as an excuse...and are not understanding with one another.

Believe me. I've been there. Picked up too many bad apples along the way. Rotten to the core but you dont always see that at the start. But you live and learn. Life goes on and somewhere theres always a decent guy or gal out there.

Lifes about being happy(Hopefully together...)

My 1st Ex - Divorced - 3 kids (not mine) (just happened to have false boobs) Cheated on me and left me owing 15K.
My 2nd Ex - Going thru a divorced 3 kids. Nutter ex boyfield(had saggies...but got a boob job when I met her) Cheated on me. Turned out to be a complete nutter and alcoholic and then tried to kill herself

And that kinda shows regardless of real boobs or false ones - if its gonna happen. It will.

But saying that. Heart broken, missing the kids. Time heals all. Curent Girlfriend - Dawnie 6 days post op, wanted new boobies when I met her BONUS (BONER). Dawnie she's ace. Everybody has concerns, worries, fears but as long as the love is there and you can talk to one another - All should be OK. I wish you the best of luck and for the kids sake try and work things out. BUT YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY! so do what ya gotta do hun. With or without him. Any ... .. Dump his ass! He aint worth it.

Kenny

thats terrible! wot a ridiculous reaction! hes obviously very insecure in himself and ur relationship.
ask him why he dosent want u to feel confident and beautiful for him? ask him wot it matters to his family as long as ur happy? tell him that ur not wanting them to b as big as jordans was,just 're-inflated' to ur pre children proportions.i felt just as u did,i breastfed my son till he was 8 month and hav lost and gaind weight for years,im now almost happy with my weight,but my boobs mad me so miserable i didnt want to take my bra off anymor in front of my fiance or let im touch them.
he was very understanding and supportive,even kept on top of the cleaning for two weeks for me wen i had them done!!
i suggest that u tell ur partner that uv givn him 2 beautiful children,given them the best start,and u just want to feel like the woman he met. if he cant get his head round that,ask him what the 'real' problem is!!
all the best
naomi xx

I completely agree with the advise of the other ladies on here.

In my option this is emotional bullying. He is insecure about loosing you but instead of talking it though- he's stamping his feet and saying 'No- I wont allow this.'

Well... its your body! You made children together, and now you want to regain what is yours. You are neither a baby machine, his possession, or at the mercy of his family's opinions (or anyone else's in fact).

I'm sorry if this sounds preachy but its got my goat!

As he is doing such things as calling you from work to guilt trip you, he must be concerned, but I doubt it is because he is afraid he wont fancy you after- it will be because he is scared that he will have to make a effort and not be a d**k in the future!

Good on you for not bailing at the first hurdle.

As you have been together so long, and have children this is obviously a big deal, and not something that can be brushed over- but surely he will sit and you can both talk this through as adults?

I'm sorry I can't be more help, but I hope that you both get to sort something out hun.

Good luck and keep us posted.

xx

Sod him. It's your body. What man is gonna dump a woman with pretty, perky boobs in favour of a woman with empty saggy ones? NONE!

Men are just notoriously JEALOUS and SELFISH creatures.

I wouldn't swap my new perky boobs for my old saggy, empty breast feeding ones for £1,000,000!...well, not for £10,000 anyway.

But did I let it put me off ..... not flipping likely!!!

I'm sorry you've had such a negative response Ang. I honesly don't know what men think ? .... I think they see it as some kind of threat. He probably thinks you will get these huge new boobs and start flashing them all over town lol ..... but seriosly, it's just not like that is it. Thinking about a boob job is a very personal thing in my opinion, and it's also a time when you could really do with some extra support from your other half.

In my case, I had felt bad about my boobs for along time. No body or nothing was going to stand in my way. I would have moved heaven and hell to get what I wanted. I've never really asked for much ... but this is something I "really" wanted, and I think my other half knew that I meant business.

I'm not really sure how you will handle this situation Ang ... I don't suppose it will be easy for either of you .... but maybe you could try and talk to him about it ..... make him realise how passionately you feel about having this done. In my opinion, he needs to realise that it is your body and your choice .... and wouldn ... be nice if you could go through the whole process with him behind you ... supporting you all the way

Anyway .... don't be put off at the first hurdle ... forge on ... Where there's a will, there's a way!!

Good luck Ang & all the very best :hugs:

Jan x.

Maybe he didn't believe you would ever go through with it so he didn't need to raise the objection.

Maybe you should try to speak to him calmly and rationally and explain that its not that you are wanting to do it for other people, but simply to regain what you lost through the ravaages of breast feeding. Reassure him that this has nothing to do with attracting opther men, etc etc etc. Pander to his ego a little, but at the same explain how important this is to you.

Give him a little time to get used to the idea that you are serious, and hopefully he will come round.

Good luck hun

xx

So sorry to hear that he is reacting so badly. That must have been a real shocker for you. Do you think he is really worried about the effect bigger boobs will have on others or perhaps it is financial or he is scared of you changing? For goodness sake, you have had his children which shows enormous commitment so surely he would want you to feel good about yourself and it is not as if you have suddenly brought the topic up out of the blue. Try and get him to talk rationally about it with you (who cares what his family think, it is none of their business). My husband is terribly supportive of whatever I would like to do if it will make me feel good about myself (and he will benefit also!)but I do not see why I should have to tell his family unless I want to. The only person whose opinion matters is of course your own and it would be nice if your partner could feel that way too. Good luck

cave man! my boyfriend is 100% behind me, in fact hes starting wanting them more than me haha, i even told my mother in law because i wanted to be open (plus she is having the baby for me). Explain its for your confidence and certainly no one elses.

xx

i had the same problem, he was ok with it until he realised i was actually serious and started going to consultations, he threatened to leave me and i said so be it as this was something i have always planned (long before him) anyway he fell out with me and got pissed off when i talked about it etc, my mates partner was fine and really eexcited so that upset me that i coulnt even mention muy ba in front of him. this went on for ages and i finally flipped with him. he admitted he was worried about loosing me with my increased confidence and i assurd him that i wouldnt leave cos of my boob job , more like cos hes a ... head lol

from then he was ok and since getting home last thursday he has really surprised me and has looked after me morning and night , my friends boyfriend has left her to do everything, how things change hey?

k x

Thank you for all your advice im glad it isnt just me. He tried to make me feel guilty about the cost i told him i will pay for it myself which i suppose i can do and would prefer to now as i think i would get it thrown back in my face at a later date! He says i will leave him when im looking all nice!!! at which point i replied see you've proved my point even you think i am not attractive anymore. Im feeling very deflated more ways then one now!! haha

I have decided to still go ahead with my consultations at least, i dont even feel as nervous about them anymore. My friends and my sister are behind me 100% at least

x

"Good for you "

I'm glad to hear you are still going to go ahead with your consultation

Mine said exactly the same ["He says i will leave him when im looking all nice"] ... that kinda says, your not worthy now (cheeky ... !) .... but I think it's all hot air Ang. Carry on with your consultation etc ... and just see how it goes. Mine eventually came around ... infact , he was there with me throughout the whole experience .... He was the one who drove me to both of my consultations .... took me to the hospital on the day of the procedure .... waited until I came out of surgery .... Vistited me later that evening .... & he also waited on me hand and foot for the first week after my surgery ... he fed me ... washed my hair .... the whole blooming lot .... So, you see, it can all come good eventually

I think you just need to stand firm .... show him you are serious about this ... but tell him you would much rather, he was behind you, supporting you throughout the whole expeience ... and try and reassure him you are doing this for all the 'right' reasons & not the reasons he is obviously imagining.

Good luck

Jan x.

"Oh dear "

Throughout today it has just got worse he has been ringing me up from work saying he has spoken to someone who says women only have surgery to attract people!! what a load of *h*t i have no interest in attracting anyone else and if me and him do split up i will love being single without answering to any man. I'm feeling close to tears as i feel bad i we do split up and my little girls left without their dad cos of my vanity. I haven't wanted to bring it up again he has. He thinks f i was happy with him i wouldnt need a boob job? But its for me not anyone else. He says he has even been asking people if my body looks weird!! OMG its nothing to do with anyone and i am peed he is telling people my business.

Hi ange,

Firstly, I`m so sorry that your fella has such insecurities that he feels it`s ok to make you feel bad about them.

Secondly, do as others have said on here, let him see the forum and have a good read of how we ALL feel about improving ourselves FOR US. Then would you please do me a favour? PM me and I`ll give you my husbands number so that hubby can explain how a man who is secure in a relationship should be acting!!
I know it`s a difficult situation for you but on top of feeling sh*te about yourself you shouldn`t be having to cope with your fella throwing a childish tantrum. You need to do what is ultimately right for you, if your fella can`t cope with something that makes you happy then maybe you need to be asking if he`s the right one for you? This guy should be supporting you, not acting like a childish brat. You deserve to be happy and if a boob job is gonna do that for you then go for it.
I hope you manage to sort it out.

Lise xxx

Show him this forum! The majority of us are normal everyday women who are doing it to regain our own bodies and why shouldn't we! I for one did not do it because at age 39 I have decided to embark on a new career as a glamour model!

We are housewives, mothers, lovers, career women, young ladies, old ladies, big girls, small girls, tall, short and everything in between! We are normal everyday women who are strong enough to recognise something about ourselves that we don't like and have done something to change it.

Thankfully we are not all driven to major surgery in order to attract a man, and for my part it was the absolute last consideration. He sounds terribly insecure hun - but try to flip it on its head. I doubt if it is that he does not find you attractive now, but rather he is scared he will not feel attractive enough for you once you have turned back time on your body? REmember, you ahve been passing the years together, so if you are feeling that your body is not what it used to be then maybe he feels that about himself too.

So sorry this is so miserable for you - but no matter how bad he is feeling he has no right to make you feel this way, and especially not to involve others that know you in the discussion.

Fingers crossed

xx

I'm 20 years old, wanting a BA.

I am in a relationship of a year and a half...OK so not a long time but for a 20 yr old...not bad I'd say.

I'm having a BA because I want to feel confident in a Bikini and underwear. THAT IS IT. I am not getting a BA to 'flaunt' myself OR attract other people.. SHOCKING NEWS FOR A 20 YR OLD RIGHT?

Yes, there are people who have 'boob jobs' in order to make themselves more appealing to other men and probably don't have stable relationships, but I think that I am a pretty good example of someone who society would expect to go running around like the village bike and also flaunting myself and guess what....I'm not. My personality is not one that is attention seeking and 'slutty' just a normal 'everyday' person; so having a BA doesn't change someone's personality neither should it change someone's relationship...

you wouldn't stop him going out and buying a sports car as a mid life crisis thing that men seem to go through... so why should he have the right to dictate if you can have a BA or not! Selfish.

Sorry to ramble but I think that if a 20 year old Uni student isn't going to turn into a stripper or glamor model with my new boobs then nor would a women with 3 kids!