aww hun
im sorry but like you said it mite only be for a few wks-months,thou i would be gutted if ut were me,try to stay posotive thou
tc linzi xxxx

"I think ttc is on hold again "

With the money & job situation I know deep down that it would be wrong for me to get pg at this moment in time because we don't know what the future holds. On the other hand I keep thinking "well it'll all be sorted within a month never mind nine, dp will get a job & everything will be ok". I've never been a chancer so I will have to wait & see if any jobs come along for dp. I briefly mentioned it to dp on Friday night saying "I don't want to put any more stress on us so I'll just mention it quickly, in case you've been worrying about kids etc I understand that it'll have to wait til you get a job - but I'm not waiting 5 years til the debts are paid off" he then said "I hadn't even thought about it". Which is fair enough cos I don't think it is the first thought that comes in there head, whereas (call me selfish) but it was one of the first things in mine - other than sh*t we're gonna lose the house!
I don't think it's sunk in that we may not be ttc as we haven't bd since 22nd June anyway!!! I do still have fingers crossed - although its a long shot - but hoping I caught then.

Sorry to go again but you gals are the only ones who understand the thought process of ttc & no matter what else is happening - that seems to be at the forefront of our minds.

Caz xx

i'm so sorry to hear all u and DP are going through the now. i remember OH went through similar with a job, he had a start date as well but because he had a silly conviction 17 years ago, they rescinded the offer. he was lucky inasmuch he hadn't handed his resignation in so he still had a job.

i just feel all u've been through lately, the tides got to turn for u soon. wait and see, u'll win the lottery and get ur BFP at the same time. if anyone deserves it, u do.

sending u {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

tc, gail xx

HUnny im thinking of you babes you must not be in a very good place at the mo........

I really hope that you stay around on here we miss you too much when you are not here. But if you do then i will catch upto you on facebook or email babes

Sending big hugs and kisses your way
Linzi xxxxxxxx

Ps You will get your BFP very soon thats what you always tell me !!!

"Yup ttc deffo on hold "

tmi coming right up

Gave dp a massage last night cos he'd been carrying media equipment for a tv company (4 day job through a temp agency) & had sore shoulders.
Anyway I thought hmmmm I'll ask for a massage that usually does the trick to get him going So he started massaging me & one thing led to another. Soz tmi, but he did things to me & I went down on him (so sorry). I asked him not to go to far & he said he wouldn't, he then did (god I'm good LOL). He said not to worry 'cos he could keep going. So we carried on kissing etc then he looked at me & said "shall I put a jonny on", well with the lights on he could see my face but I still said "it's up to you" cos I thought from him asking that he wasn't sure he wanted to use one. Then he said "oh soz but that's put me off now & it had me too. So he said "I thought we'd said that it'd be for the best" & I said "yeah I'm ok with that don't worry I'm not in a mood". So we just lay there for a while holding each other til I got up to go to the bathroom. I've felt deflated all day & everynow & then feel like I need to cry I know it's for the best, again, but doesn't stop me getting upset.

Sorry to keep whinging on but I think my positivity is almost spent.

tc Caz xx

Your message started so romanticly and happy, but ended soooo sadly. Listen, I don't know, but does he actually know how you really feel - deep down I mean? It might be that you re sending him wrong messages. If you told him you are fine about not ttc becouse it is not right at this mo., than he probably doesn't bother about it (it is not a priority for most of men). But maby if you told him how you are upset, than he would try to do something about it. Surely he loves you more than anything and would not want to see you hurt or upset. Be brave and let your true feelings out, whatever they may be.

Hiya

Yeah he knows, he could see it in my face & he knows I don't mean it when I say it's fine - he knows me too well & I know at the moment he feels like (his words) a failure & a loser & I don't want to add to his downer by adding pressure cos he's not giving me a baby.

It sounds silly but I know if I do start crying now, I don't know if I'd be able to stop. One of us has to stay strong & although dp is, if I crack that'll be it.

Thx for the mssg hun, I will pick myself off & thank my lucky stars that it is a choice we have made & not that of ill health.

tc Caz xx

You remind me of me a lot.
I begged my dh for over a year to go to GP regarding our infertility. He kept saying that we'll go in a month time,or now isn't right time financially... excuses. I stood strong like you, waited patiently. Than I broke. Another Christmas with no baby. I cried and was like a living dead. I could not help it any more.You know, Christmas time, no work, no family or friends around, just two of us stuck at home in bad weather.... I did not plan it, but it did work. Dh sayd that he did not realised how realy sad I was & how much it was hurting me. He thought I was OK because I kept saying I was OK (hoping he understtod form my face that I wasn't). He never got it untill I started telling him the truth with true emotions.
I still think you need to talk to him (on & on untill he get's it),or just simply let you break, than he will defo. get it. Our men don't like us crying, lol, softies, lol. Sorry for getting on at you, I just feel like I've been there & done that; & trying to help.

thanks again for taking the time to mssg me & give me a kick up the bum LOL.

I almost broke last night, doing overtime then getting dp's final bits of paperwork upto date. I kept the tears back - just. I thought I should just let it all but couldn't seem to do it. DP asked if I would leave him, he ... rock bottom but putting a brave face on....male pride!

I took half day off work today & went to Buckley Jubilee (a carnival our town has had for decades). It's cheered me up no end & I've had time to think. I will give it a couple or few weeks, & when dp gets a job in that time I will deffo make it clear that we are trying for a baby.

So hopefully I can keep this good mood for a week or two & we will be back ttc.

Thanks again hun, apprecate it & will take on board your comments & experience cos we do sound alike.

Caz xxxx

OMG, I come back on here and I can't beleive what I've read. Your DP is deffo better off without them - such a complete toss pot. I hope your DP gets a job soon chick - what a complete mare.

That's good that he's not stressing about having a baby though and its not you being selfish thinking about it and him not, I just think its normal for a woman to think about it and normal for a guy not to!

It will all work out for the best I'm sure (although can completely understand how worried you must be). I think the credit crunch and re-mortgage crap is hitting everyone at the mo. We've just had to remortgage (fixed term up) and we've apparently lost £20k from our house value in the last 6 mths!!!!! Which makes remortgaging harder to do as you've got less equity (if that makes sense) - such a bummer. Think lots of people are going to be rethinking starting family etc. You can still have a family while you've got debts though - I don't think I know anyone who hasn't got a bit of debt whilst having a family! It's all part and parcel in this day and age!

Let's hope 22 June was the "one" and you only need one hunnie!

Best of luck anyway
Take care Bea xx

Can't believe what DP's company did..... are you going to challenge their decision or is DP going to look for another job?
I know it's easy for outsiders to say don't worry, but thats exactly what I'm going to say! Try not to worry, I was in a situation with an ex who had a huge amount of debt, not business debt either, personal debt. I won't go into a long story about that but at the time you think it's never going to get any better but it will and he'll get another job and everything will be back on track soon.
Good luck and hope you did catch on the 22nd june!!

Lea xx

but you never know, you may already be pg!!?? It's good that your dp didn't automatically think of stopping ttc, i know we think about it way more than them...like all the time!! I know it doesn't help much but i'm a great believer in what's meant to be will be and i feel sure that very soon a better job will come up for him and your stressy times will be over.

Good luck sweetie, your dreams will soon come true x x x

I absolutelly understand what you're going through and what's on your mind. About a month ago we were in extremly simillar situation. We couldn't even pay for our bills which were coming thick and fast. Than, in desperation, I arranged one month holiday from morgage payment (which helped a lot) and used our very last pennies (and I'm not joking) to pay AMARO distributing company to distribute our leaflets to let more people know what we do. At first there was no response and we were preparing oureselves for reposesion. Than a miracle happened and we got a few big jobs that will keep us working for at least 6 weeks. Not mentionig that we gambled a bit as well. We gave people estimates with higher prices than we normally would and took on two jobs at once which means we do half a day one job and second half second job. It is extremly hard, we work 12 hours a day 7 days a week, but we don't mind. As long as the money is coming in and our bills are payd. Funny enough, it never crossed our mind to put ttc on hold. We might be selfish and irresponsible, but we believed that we'll manage and if not the worst case senario could probably be that we would end up somewhere in a council house. We wouldn't be first nor last. There are so many more important things in life. We waited so long to start our fertility treatment, there was no way we would stop now.
I absolutelly believe that your dp will find onother job soon and you'll be back on track and ttc. Maby that job wasn't ment for him and there is something better waiting for him. Fingers crossed for you both. xxx

i'm really sorry to hear about your dp's job i cant believe that company did that to him its so unfair for you both.. i'll keep my alls crossed for you that he get's a job soon and you get your BFP soon too..

You know where we all are if you need to talk..

Take Care hun

Delx

aww hun
im sorry but like you said it mite only be for a few wks-months,thou i would be gutted if ut were me,try to stay posotive thou
tc linzi xxxx

don't know what I'd do without the help, support & advice everyone has given.

I know in the past I've been a positive person & I am damned if I'm gonna let this get me down. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Thx again

Caz xx