hi lisa.just read your story.my sympathies are with you.in august i went into premature labour and gave birth to my beautiful daughter at 23 wks and 5 days.she only survived for 40 minutes.we want to try again,but because i have a weak cervix,im terrified the same thing will happen again.im off work sick,and my employers are getting shirty with me.i dont know what to do for the best.if you have any thoughts,please get in touch.

Hi all. By way of background, I discovered I had a missed miscarriage at what I hoped would be my 12 week scan on 24th October - baby was about 8 weeks with no heartbeat. I endured the D&C the next day.

Things are improving - I went a whole day yesterday without crying.

I just wondered if anybody else feels frightened of trying again? I am dreading seeing the positive pregnancy test and don't know if or how I'll survive the first 12 weeks. This experience is without doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to get through.

Can anyone help?

L x

HI

I HAD TO HAVE A TERMINATION AT 22 WEEKS DUE TO A RARE CONDITION THAT MY BABY BOY HAD. THIS INVOLVED DELIVERING A DEAD BABY WHICH WAS VERY DISTRESSING PARTICULARLY AFTER 21 HOURS LABOUR. WE HAD A FUNERAL FOR HIM. 3 MONTHS LATER I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN BUT SCARED BUT AGAIN THIS WAS TRAUMATIC AT MY 10 WEEK SCAN - NO HEARTBEAT & I HAD TO HAVE A D&C. 3 MONTHS LATER I WAS PREGNANT FOR THE 3RD TIME & THE NHS WERE FANTASTIC IN LOOKING AFTER ME WITH LOTS OF SCANS ALL THE WAY THROUGH & ON 7/7/07 AT 7.07PM I GAVE BIRTH TO MY MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHER WHO WILL HOPEFULLY BE LUCKY.

MY MESSAGE IS IT IS HARD BUT TRY TO KEEP A POSITIVE ATTITUDE & IT EVENTUALLY COMES RIGHT. I'LL NEVER FORGET MY LITTLE BOY BUT WE WERE LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET ANOTHER GO. STICK WITH IT & GOOD LUCK!

VICKY X

Wow what an amazing good omen - all the sevens!
She Must be Heaven Sent!

This really gives me hope, thank you for sharing your experience.

I too am scared to concieve after suffering a full-term still-birth of my gorgeous Son James Peter. Our boys will never be forgotten....

God Bless & Big Hugs,
Natalie xxxx

I've just read your reply and felt such a warm glow, such tragedy and then such happiness. I too have had two miscarriages and I'm hoping for a third time lucky.

Thanks for giving me hope. Congratulations to you and your daughter, take good care of each other.

Lxxxxxxx

Hi, just like to reply to your message, i myself had a missed miscarriage last year. I was 11 weeks when the i started to get staining and bleeding, i went for a scan and they told me there was no heartbeat, it was the biggest shock i ever had, like you i was heartbroken.
It was'nt til after the whole fuss had died down that it really hit but you can get over it, i have.
I'm 7 weeks pregnant at the minute unfortunatly i am in the process of a threatening miscarriage and really devasted about it happening again myself, i have to go back for a scan to check for a heartbeat again in acouple of days so im really nervous. I felt i had to reply to you cause i know exactly how you feel. You have as much chance of having a normal pregnacy as anyone its just unlucky.

hi lisa.just read your story.my sympathies are with you.in august i went into premature labour and gave birth to my beautiful daughter at 23 wks and 5 days.she only survived for 40 minutes.we want to try again,but because i have a weak cervix,im terrified the same thing will happen again.im off work sick,and my employers are getting shirty with me.i dont know what to do for the best.if you have any thoughts,please get in touch.

I lost a baby at the end of september, I found out at my 20 week scan, for some reason I did not misscarry naturally, so I was induced, pretty horrid, but luckily did not need a d&c.

I know what you mean abouot the crying, it seams to feel a little bit better each day, Now I feel like there are no tears left to cry!

As for being scared, I am generally a super relaxed person, but I fear I would be a dithering wreck if we managed to get pregnant again, I would also not want to tell anyone until I was about to give birth as one of the worst things I found was telling people the baby had died, as at five months even my neighbours knew!

I also think my husband is a bit worried, about it happening again, it is a mine field. If you are healthy and look after yourself what more can you do? Unfortunately for so many women, some pregnancies just are not meant to be.

Reading this back, it all sounds a bit gloomy, I should add that I have two beautiful children, seven and two, and had a misscariage in between. Just take each thing as it comes, you will be okay.

I hope you do manage to fall pregnant again and that it is a happy and healthy pregnancy

RB

I am feeling the same, I found out last week that I had m/c for the second time and am totally devestated. I am not sure when to try again I had a d&c on thursday and the docs have said to have a period before trying again. But my first m/c was in August this year and we did leave it a month and had a normal period and I still lost the baby.
I think they only tell you to leave it a month to get your dates right but I say start trying again when you feel ready.
Its hard because once you have had a miscarriage all you want is to be pregnant again but you have to be emotionally ready because what ever anyone says i guess those first 12 weeks will be the hardest time ever. Good luck and stay possitive. xx

Hey Lisa

I had exactly the same with my first miscarriage, I've had two. I got to twelve weeks only for them to tell me the hearbeat had stopped. It's been a few months and the pain has healed. It'll still be too raw for you at the moment but hand on in there kiddo, you'll get better and find the strength to do it again......you're tougher than you think!

If you need to chat that's what we're here for!

L xxxx

Hi there L,

I'm really sorry for your loss and know how you feel. I'm 43 and had a miscarriage (my first pregnancy) on the 16th September at 12 weeks. I cried for the first week every day and lots thereafter. It is a horrible thing to go through but as people said to me 'time heals'. At the time I didn't believe them but life does go on and it will get better - trust me. I still have bad days when I ask myself, why us, why now and all the other question. Unfortunately I started to bleed quite heavily again about 2 weeks after the miscarriage and bled heavily for 14 days before stopping and now have just started again - which is hopefully my first proper period although it is very heavy again.

My fiance and I are going to try again but like you we are worried about the 'what if it happens again'.... but we are prepared to go through those thoughts and are staying positive. We have already had unprotected sex - which was a big step forward for me and we hope that in the not too distant future to be pregnant again. I know that the first 12 weeks will be difficult but you must look forward and not back.

I found that talking about the miscarriage a great help and luckily I have wonderful friends and family who have helped me so far. In some ways I am dreading a positive test but in others I can't wait. My miscarriage was certainly the hardest experience I have ever had to endure but we have come through it and as a couple are stronger than ever. My advice is to if you are in doubt wait a couple of months and have a couple of periods to re-establish your cycle and then enjoy trying again - without trying too hard and worrying otherwise you won't get pregnant again.

Be positive; I am - now. Don't be put off by what a lot of people say on the forums about further miscarriages and depression. I stopped looking at the forums for this reason but have come back to them as self help.

I wish you good luck, keep your chin up - It will get better, I promise.

Once again I am so sorry for your loss and really do know how you feel.

Send me a message if you want to talk more.

Dormouse
X

Sorry to hear that. I was terrifed but if you read my thread giving you lot some hope, i am now 12 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. I was really worried sitting at the hospital waiting for my scan seeing all the other mums going into get their scans and coming out smiling i was really worried. Best advice i can give you is think positive i know harder said then done and just try to relax. Good luck PM me anytime i am here for you Take care Love Lis

It means so much to have words of comfort from people who actually understand what it feels like (as lying in the dark in the middle of the night you feel like nobody else in the world knows what you are going through)

It took me a lot of courage to come back to the forums today - I didn't know how I would feel being on this board - I'm glad I did. Thanks again, all of you.

L x

p.s. Has anybody else noticed that there seems to be a disproportionate number of "Lisas" on this and 'the other board'?

i had a forced miscarriage at 14 weeks after my waters broke unexpectedly....its been a tough ride since then -2 months and i still can't forget it. i dont think i will ever get over it but i do want to try again soon...

we are thinking of ttc next month but i am so scared of the horrible thing happening again. i do miss by baby so much - had so many hopes and dreams and was so excited it being my first one too...

was just wondering that i never knew why my waters broke - the docs had no clue, how will i know if it was cuz of a weak cervix for eg? the doc said they wont do any tests untill i have 3 succesful miscarriages..to search for a problem....which i think is the most insensitive thing ever!