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   Pregnancy > Discussion Board Miscarriage

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"Can't move on"
Posted by panda1232 5 December  at  11:39

I lost my baby in May, no heartbeat at 11 weeks, i had an evacuation next day and went back to work 2 days after that. I wanted to get back to normality but things haven't got any easier, every month my period comes and i feel so cheated. My baby would have been due this week and i just cant stop crying. I dont feel like i have anyone to tlk to, my bf, family and friends look uncomfortable and change the subject if i ever mention it. I already have 1 daughter from a prev relationship but we tried for 2 years for this baby and were all so happy and looking forward to being 4 in time for xmas, now i feel like i cant face it. After my miscarriage my mum booked up to go and spend xmas with my sister and her baby in australia, she is leaving the day before i was due. My bf and i are rowing constantly beacuse im so miserable, my best friends.. 1 is pregnant and the other had a baby in july, i cant bear to be around them. Sorry for such a long post i just want to tlk to other ppl who know how im feeling, not some stranger at the Drs surgery who thinks tablets are the answer to all my problems!
 
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"Hi hon..."
Posted by rachjones 5 December  at  12:58

I had a m/c week and a half ago. I'm up and down but have moments of feeling positive about the future and moments where I feel unbearably sad. I should have had my first scan this morning so feeling a bit down at the moment and am sure when I reach other important dates it will hit me all over again. I am still off work till next week cos I felt the need to stay at home and go through my grieving and I couldn't face the thought of going back to normal but everyone is different and we all deal with things in our own way. I'm just thinking that maybe you didn't have time to come to terms with it at the time and maybe that's why it's affecting you so now. Is there at least one friend you can speak to or maybe you could speak to a counsellor or something, I don't know anything about it but would the Miscarriage Assoc be able to help? Can you talk to your mum to tell her how difficult things are, not to ask her not to go but to ask her advice on how to deal with it? 2 of my friends are pregnant and I saw one the other night, it was hard and we both cried but it was easier than I thought and my friend was very sensitive and really helped me out by listening so if you can try and see your friends cos we need all need them and they will be able to help and by seeing them you are confronting your feelings and this could really help you. So sorry for long reply but wanted to try and help, Rach x
"Hey hun"
Posted by babydust 5 December  at  12:41

I had a MC 3weeks ago but havent had the courage to post anything on this forum yet!!! Seems like your having a bad time. Its not easy I know but you do have one beautiful child already to be thankful for, which is more than me!!
Dont push your BF, friends and family away you need them trust me. I felt like I couldnt bring it up too without people trying to change the subject and it hurts and you need to get it out!! Crying helps!! Cry if you need to cry! All day long if need be.
Dont know if this will help you or not but on the weekend I went to a place I like in the country and blew up a balloon tied a message to it for my little one in heaven and left it go! Was hard to let go but I did and I watched it go all the way up until I couldnt see it anymore!!
Im not saying it makes everything back to normal but really helped me in dealing with it and closure. I will never forget what happened but Im looking to my future now and I feel stronger than I ever have before and much happier, and thats made relationship with my partner even better and stronger!
As one wise lady said - What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger and by god it does! Chins up ladies!

Lots of Love you all and have a Fab Christmas xxxx




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