I know you think people are strong, but I am not I am tring to be, but it is not easy, 7 weeks is not very long for your recovery, and this not even being your first does make it worse. I do not know what the other ladies will say, and correct me if I am wrong, but I have been told by soooo many people (the people who have never had this happen to them, and the medical prof) it must get easier the more you have, when I hear that I do want to slap them, it gets harder I think, I know the first time it was hard, but with my age and circumstances I did not worry to much, and so on with them, but it did get harder as I matured. Then when I started to loose the ones with hubby, which to me are the worse, as these were in a loving relationship, and greatly wanted. I struggled, the first I thought was because of my past, the second I started to get very bitter to alot of people, not hubby, but preg people in the street, and those with children, people in my past I blamed them for everything, then I started to with draw from friends and family who had children,
Then it kept going on more and more, harder and harder, then I lost one and within a few days my friend said 'never mind could be worse, we are expecting and you can be godparents' I hated her, I actually found myself wanting her to lose her unborn child, I did not see her much in her preg, that was untill forced, and then I had to go to the hospital to see her, when the baby was just hours old, I was even the mug who took mum and baby home.
Now I have lost my last chance, and it will be perm soon, I am going through some major health problems, she is preg, she comes round each week, and sits here making bump so obvious, she talks to me alot, tells me about the back ache, the different preg things happening to her, and now she is keeping all the bits for her bump at ours, we have a one bed flat, I have nowhere to put the bits, they are in the bedroom and living room, I have so much baby stuff her, and it is not even for me. At times I find some knid of strength, I dont know where it comes from, but then I see all the things building up, she even wants me to go with her for the scan next month, I know it is horriable to say, but I will be glad to go into hospital, and in some ways I hope I never come out, I do not want to have to keep living through this.

Post on this site anytime you need surport, I do not come here much any more, not know anyway, but that is because people are still trying on here, I can not I am loosing every last chance very soon. I have another godchild due next year soon, I have most of the bits here, and I do not really want to know it, not know, not ever.

Am I a bad person.

Hi Guys
Having a really bad few days. Feel so fed up and low and can't stop thinking what should have been. It was my birthday on Tuesday and I had in my mind that I would have my bump and look all pregnant and glowing and now nothing. Hate that I have to wait for another period before I can try again. This time round seems to be even harder, I am fine one minute and the next I am crying my eyes out. Please say it gets easier because at this moment I feel like I can not cope and will never move on from this. This is my 2nd m/c and really can't face the thought of it all happening again. I no some of you have been to hell and back and you seem so brave and strong but I am not sure I will ever be able to get there. Sorry to ramble but always makes me feel better talking on here. Its been 7 weeks now since my last m/c but doesn't seem to be any easier. My friend is p/g at the mo and I find it really hard to be around her or talk to her. She thinks I am being cruel but I just hate that she has what I want.
Thanks for listening.
Vic xx

I know you think people are strong, but I am not I am tring to be, but it is not easy, 7 weeks is not very long for your recovery, and this not even being your first does make it worse. I do not know what the other ladies will say, and correct me if I am wrong, but I have been told by soooo many people (the people who have never had this happen to them, and the medical prof) it must get easier the more you have, when I hear that I do want to slap them, it gets harder I think, I know the first time it was hard, but with my age and circumstances I did not worry to much, and so on with them, but it did get harder as I matured. Then when I started to loose the ones with hubby, which to me are the worse, as these were in a loving relationship, and greatly wanted. I struggled, the first I thought was because of my past, the second I started to get very bitter to alot of people, not hubby, but preg people in the street, and those with children, people in my past I blamed them for everything, then I started to with draw from friends and family who had children,
Then it kept going on more and more, harder and harder, then I lost one and within a few days my friend said 'never mind could be worse, we are expecting and you can be godparents' I hated her, I actually found myself wanting her to lose her unborn child, I did not see her much in her preg, that was untill forced, and then I had to go to the hospital to see her, when the baby was just hours old, I was even the mug who took mum and baby home.
Now I have lost my last chance, and it will be perm soon, I am going through some major health problems, she is preg, she comes round each week, and sits here making bump so obvious, she talks to me alot, tells me about the back ache, the different preg things happening to her, and now she is keeping all the bits for her bump at ours, we have a one bed flat, I have nowhere to put the bits, they are in the bedroom and living room, I have so much baby stuff her, and it is not even for me. At times I find some knid of strength, I dont know where it comes from, but then I see all the things building up, she even wants me to go with her for the scan next month, I know it is horriable to say, but I will be glad to go into hospital, and in some ways I hope I never come out, I do not want to have to keep living through this.

Post on this site anytime you need surport, I do not come here much any more, not know anyway, but that is because people are still trying on here, I can not I am loosing every last chance very soon. I have another godchild due next year soon, I have most of the bits here, and I do not really want to know it, not know, not ever.

Am I a bad person.

You are not a bad person you are going through a terrible time and I can only say how sorry I feel for you. My pain is bad so I can only begin to imagine what yours is. My heart goes out to you. And if talking on here helps then you should carry on to do that. Eveytime I feel down or worried about something even if the girls are not going through the same thing or had the same result there will always be someone to chat too and to try and help.
And it always makes me feel better.
Thinking of you at this horrible time in your life.

Lots of hugs and kisses. xx

it will get better but it takes time. i had my 5th m/c in september and i still get down and have really bad days. i havnt even returned to work yet, due to go back in january. i also had a bfp last friday and it was my 40th birthday on saturday, but on monday started bleeding so i am just thinking to myself that i didnt do a test and it was a late period. i am under the hospital, as i have a high level of natural killer cells and also sticky blood, and also on clomid.
it does get easier but i found it got worse before it got better if you know what i mean, stay strong and dont give up we will get there !i know how you feel hun.
pm me anytime, take care
y
x

when I was miscarriaging, I had stress at my friend in Japan, and in Canada. One is in Japan, she was my old friend since kindrgarden, and I emailed her a lot and she replied me a lot, and letters, too. she had experience with miscarriage and now she has a son. I didn't know her that pregnancy and miscarriage, at last success pregnancy.
The Other one in Canada here, she is from Japan, too. But she has problem her body to get pregnant. Then I told her I was pregnant, soon she got jealous and emailed me nastily and phone call me, really like make me confused. Then I became to hate her, she was bugging me I felt, that's why I emailed to complain to a friend in Japan. I just wanted to complain about her, but she started to complain and hurt me about my friend in Japan who has been friend since junior high, it was soooo stress,,,

Then now I miscarriaged, I am bleming to both of them.
They gave me stress... I know this is not their faults.
My saddness is looking for something or someone to blame.

Turtleway (12wks after 1wks.)

I think you're being a bit hard on yourself, believe me none of us feel brave or strong all the time and 7 weeks is no time at all to even start to get over m/c. Being around pregnant women is incredibly hard in your situation and most of us have struggled with that one, you're not being cruel at all, of course it's not her fault that this has happened to you but it's only natural to feel upset that she has what you want so desperately. Having your 2nd m/c is the pits cos it tends to make you start to worry that you can't have just been unlucky twice and there must be something really wrong. It's even worse that most hospitals won't do any tests until you've had three, wonder if they realise how cruel that is? I have had 3 m/c's now and I've had all the tests and they showed nothing obviously wrong with me or my husband so now they tell me it is possible to just be unlucky more than once. I think the main problem is they really don't know much about m/c, even in this day and age but that's not much help to us is it?! What I'm trying to say is that this doesn't have to mean you're always gonna have problems or that there's anything 'wrong' with you and although you don't believe it right now you will get there and you will find bravery and strength you never knew you had, it just takes time. In the meantime you're right, talking does help and this site was what dragged me through my last m/c, rant to your hearts content hun and don't ever feel you're alone cos we're all here for you. Take care of yourself, message anytime if you need to talk.

Lotsa love,
Clare xxx