i cant believe what your boss said thats so bad. i dont think a lot of people realise how long it takes to get over a m/c. the first time i was off for 6 weeks. when i had my 5th it just knocked me for six and have been off work now for 4 months.
just take your time and dont worry about work worry about yourself. ive had to go to counciling but im a lot better now and just about getting back on track.
everyone in different and only you can decide when your ready to go back to work
take care
y
x

I've been reading all your posts and finally plucked up courage to write myself. Its been a week today since i had my m/c and feel like i'm losing it. My boss at work phoned me this morning to see how i am and when i'll be returning to work! She told me not to dwell and to be thankful for the children i've already got. Don't get me wrong i'm very thankful for my kids, more so now than ever. But i just don't think i can face going back to work yet. I work in a supermarket and couldn't face seeing so many people. Is this normal???? I keep breaking down in tears. When does the pain start to ease? I feel so sad and alone. I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow to get another sick note. Then i'm back at hospital on Friday for another blood test to make sure my hormone levels have returned to normal. I know i'm babbling on but it helps me to talk and get it all out of my system. How long is the norm before returning to work????

Thank you all

Paula xxxx

Hi Paula,

My name is Lynne and I really feel for you. I lost my baby at 4 months pregnant on christmas day 07 I have a daughter of 5 years, I am still off work and nit due back untill feb How dare your boss tell you not to dwell on it you are greiving for your child. I know you have more children but you have to go through the grief process in order to function you get a notes off your doctor and there is nothing your boss can do. How far gone were you? Please feel free to talk to me anytime, I can help you through this. YOU are not alone!

Love Lynne

Thanks for all your replies. My doctor was fantastic and has signed me off work another 2 weeks. I was actually thinking of just taking another week off, but then last night me and my partner split up, not because of the m/c but just because we want different things in life. Coping really well today, but don't think its really hit me yet!!! Hospital have given me a contact number for a counsellor there, so may give her a bell next week. I'm so trying to be positive about it all. Took all my xmas decos down today and blitzed the place, lol. Ah well, one day at a time ladies.

Thanks for listening, makes it so much easier.

Love Paula xxxx

Hope you're feeling ok today. I m/c almost 6 weeks ago and am feeling much much better now and will never forget it. I noticed on a reply you made to someone else that you are wearing a little angel pendant, i'm wearing a star one and i find it a real comfort for some reason. I spent the first week or so in a bit of a tearful daze and was up and down really. It is awful but it's a grieving process and it a healthy way of dealing with it. Really sorry that you've split up with your partner and hope you are ok with it. You sound positive and the one day at a time thing is the best way to do it. If you need anything, we're always here and you can pm me if you need to, take care, Rach x x x

i cant believe what your boss said thats so bad. i dont think a lot of people realise how long it takes to get over a m/c. the first time i was off for 6 weeks. when i had my 5th it just knocked me for six and have been off work now for 4 months.
just take your time and dont worry about work worry about yourself. ive had to go to counciling but im a lot better now and just about getting back on track.
everyone in different and only you can decide when your ready to go back to work
take care
y
x

really sorry to hear of your loss it really is a terrible thing that we have been through, i had a missed miscarriage in nov 06 and it took me ages to get back to my old self and i have to say i think that was partly due to me going back to work to soon. i went to hospital on the 15th and was back at work on the 21st, which looking back was far too soon, so my advice to you is do not rush back until you feel absolutely ready do not be pressured by your employer and the attitude of people who say "be thankful" and "atleast you know you can have kids" really stinks. i felt really alone to partly because got no family close by and also because had no one to talk to who had been through what i had and i've got to say this site helped me no end it was like having a huge group of friends to talk to when needed them most.
i'm with you all the way when you say about being able to talk and get stuff off your chest i'm exactly the same in case you haven't already noticed!!!
anyway i will stop going on now take care.
love laura

sorry to hear about your lost. we all know how you feel. If your boss said that to me then they would have been pinched in the face, obsively they havent lost any, that was what annoyed me the most, someone who didnt know what we were going through and to say sorry to hear that/theres still time to try again ect. Its going to take time for the pain to ease but it will ease and get easier for you but its something that no-one can get over. There isnt a 'normal time' to re-turn, just when you feel like it and not before. I re-turned to work a week later thought it would be easy as i dont work in one place, i go from home to home and wouldnt see any of my workmates who knew, but by the time i got to my first client i had broken down and couldnt cope, so phoned yvonne and she sent me home and was signed off another week and when i returned was only given a couple and had to build it up when i could cope. You anit alone, you've got us, send a post on here anytime or pm one of us and we will be happy to have a chat. Take care Lis