Hi there

Just wanted to have a bit of a moan. Been having a tough time while preg but knew I would as I have a bicornuate retroverted uterus.

I miscarried in 2004 (twins) at about 7/8 weeks and was absolutely devastated and unexpected, had a bit of pain but no bleeding initially so had EVAC and dealt with things as best as I could. The pain of the miscarriage was awful but the worst part was telling everyone. It was the only time I saw my husband cry and we've been together 10 years! I then got pregnant quite quickly, only had one period inbetween (but I've got long irregular cycles) and that was tough with lots of pain and huge amount of bleeding but all was okay and I thankfully had a beautiful baby boy in 2005.

When I found out I was preg in Nov, I knew it wouldn't be easy but apart from some pain and a bleed at 6 weeks (which was all okay), it's been okay. Had a few pains yesterday and bit of bleed so had a scan today and my worst nightmare came true again, the fetus hasn't grown since my last scan 4 weeks ago. I thought I was 10 weeks today and still have tender breasts and everything! I'm going in for an EVAC tomorrow and I'm glad they're doing it sooner rather than later but those old feelings I had with my first miscarriage have come back with avengance! It's a bit easier this time but to be honest, I'm in complete shock! My hubby doesn't seem bothered at all, he said he had distanced himself and what would be, would be but he's just carrying on as normal and I can't stop bloody crying. My little boy keeps cuddling me and saying mummy sad which makes me smile and I am soooo grateful for him but I just keep thinking "why me" - I know it's really selfish but none of my friends have gone through this, they just keep popping them out - it makes me more appreciative of what I've got but feeling a bit resentful at the mo. I've got two friends who are preg and my boss who is preg, my sis-in-law is trying and my sis is trying so they'll be next. I know there are people worse off and I wouldn't wish this to happen on my worst enemy but I just feel so angry and upset.

Sorry to babble on, I know it gets easier (well, it did last time) but I spose its so raw what with only being told today. xxx

just wanted you to know i'm thinking of you. I had a m/c just over 5 weeks ago (first pregnancy) and have just finished my first AF which went on for twice as long as normal and was twenty times heavier! I was generally doing ok but the heavy AF really brought back memories of the m/c so been feeling a bit crap again. I don't think you're being selfish, it's just so unfair, i know. You're right it is so raw and you only found out today and it will get easier. Sounds like your hubby just has his own way of protecting himself and remember as well as just finding out the worst possible news you're full of hormones too. I think it's good to cry tho and let yourself grieve.
Hope all goes ok tomorrow and don't forget to come on here cos we know how you're feeling

Rach x