It was three days after Christmas 2006 and we were sitting there waiting for the test results of the pregnancy test. POSITIVE!!!! At first we were shocked but the shock soon past and before we knew it my belly started expanding. It was 18weeks when I felt the first flutter of Declan and the emotion took hold of me as Dermot and I were so excited about being parents and to teach Declan all the great things we know about this world. Dermot and I decided to move to Darwin in April 2007 and started preparing for the arrival of our first born child. Things were just turning out perfect pregnancy was going great I was healthy and Declan was healthy. As we reached the 32nd week of the pregnancy people started commenting lady you are going to have a big baby. So my next couple of visits I asked for a ultrasound and they just said that I dont need one. As the weeks dragged on and finally 22nd of August DUE DATE, I just wanted things to start hurrying up as Dermot and I wanted to meet our baby but he waited till the 31st of August at 3:43am our boy DECLAN BRIAN arrived into this world weighing 5.025kg.
This is when our world turned upside down. It all started at about 4am on the 30th of August I woke up to feeling like I had wet my pants a bit so I woke Dermot up and Said Dermot I think my waters have broke We rang the Hospital and told them what had happen. So by 7: 30am we on our way to the hospital we couldnt get the excitement off our faces. They put us into a room and I still hadnt started contractions. I had little pains but nothing like what I felt later on. In the afternoon they decided to start inducing me within half an hour contractions started things were going great I was laughing and giggling through it I was enjoying the experience. After a few a hours the pain was too much so I had a epidural to help the pain when they were putting the epidural in Declans heart rate went sky rocketing like he was stressing. Soon after he had calm down to a normal heart rate. The Doctor came in to check if I had dilated and my waters finally broke properly they were stained as bub must have been stressing. Two hours later things started to get a move on I went from 3cm dilated to 9cm within a couple of hours thing were moving fast. Declans heart rate had dropped really low and they couldnt trace it through my belly so they put a little monitor on his head.
I felt this urge to push but before I even had a chance to do it my self the doctors were putting the suction cap on his head to help get him out. After a numerous of attempts his head was out but his shoulders were stuck 16mins later they got him out and he wasnt breathing it took them 45 mins to get his heart started they. They doctors worked on him and then took him out of the room before I could even look at his face.
The doctors cleaned me up and Dermot and I finally got to have our first look at our boy, he looked beautiful looked more like his dad but still had my ears. For the next 12 hours the doctors said is the most critical. As the twelve hours passed he was still here with us. Most family members got to meet him over the next nine days they flew in from interstates form all around Australia and the ones who couldnt make it Declan knew they send all there love for him.
On the 8th day after the MRI scan the results werent good and we had to make a decision whether to let him go or leave him on life support as Dermot and I sat in the waiting lounge making a decision which we were struggling with. The Doctor came in to let us know that they had to take the ventilator off him as he was trying to cough it up. Declan must of know the decision was too hard for us so he protected us and made the decision him self. For the next 16 hours we nursed, sung lullabys to him, told him how much we love him and always will. Told him that it is ok to go to a place where he can feel better and no more pain he has lots of great people up there to look after him that he can ask them the questions that we can no longer answer for him. Dermot and I always wished for the moment for when our baby was born the moment we could lay our child between us and sleep like a family.
At 7.45am on the 8th of September 2007 Declan passed away peacefully between the arms of his mummy and daddy.
The next couple of days were hard but it had to be done. Wednesday the 12th of September was when we said our good bye to Declan. One of Declans Great Uncles wrote this poem for him.
You touched us all in many ways
though your life was only brief
You were taken far too early and modern
medicine was the thief
You tipped the scales at over five,
thats kilos not in pounds
A big strong boy with us 9 days
now gone to check your new surrounds

Your birthday was in August
born on August Thirty One
To mum Cianne and father Dermot
you was, their cherished 1st born son
First grandchild for Granny Tricia Rose,
sadly missed by your Pa Brian and
Nanny and Grandad McConville and
your Aunties, Uncles, Cousins were all cryin

Well keep you in our memories, and
locked up tight in all our hearts
till one day we all meet again
Well say youve got a good head start and
if you get to wanderin or confused youve got
Alicias mum or Poppy Boof, to gently guide you back

They say that wounds all heal with time,
we can only hope thats true, and
night time when we search the stars
well often think of you
Each rising dawn each setting sun
though tears may come in flood
You will often be remembered the first of
McConville-Coleman blood

So rest now, you are through it,
You fought a tough fight for all your worth, and
tell Jesus when your up there,
to help us, left back here on earth

The 8th was when we lost you when you sadly passed away
but its August 31st that now is
Declan McConville day.

After saying goodbye to him as he drove away. I wanted to do something special for Declan so we headed down to the botanical gardens and read out a letter I wrote to him from his mum and dad just telling him that we will meet him at the golden gates one day but till that day comes Declan you will guard us as you are the most beautiful angel now. Put on the song Wimmbwobe and released two beautiful doves and family and friends released 20 beautiful colourful balloons for Declan to play with in his new surrounds.

Our families have been a wonder of strength and we couldnt get through this with out them. My Uncle said that Declan stands for Bringing the Clan to together and Declan certainly did bring us all together.
To our mums and dads thank you for being the people yous are hope one day that Dermot and I can be as good of parents as yous have been to us.
Dermot the Father of our child my love goes out to you as you have been the one to help me hold it all together. There have been days when we couldnt stop crying but we find the strength in each other to hold on to Declans memory but still move forward with each other.
We will forever miss you Declan but thought of you being happy makes me feel ok that you cant be here with us. WE WILL MEET YOU ONE DAY AT THE GOLDEN GATES and you can show us your world.

LOVE mummy

What a beautifully sad story, am so sorry x

I have just read this and cannot stop crying. I have just had my second m/c only 6 days ago and although its been really upsetting and hard to move on, this puts everything into perspective. I cannot beleive how strong you are and really admire you and your husband. Baby Declan really is a wonderful little angel and I am so pleased you had some time with him, albeit only a little.

My thoughts are with you and your family and of course with Baby Declan. What else can I say but to wish you lots and lots of hugs and best wishes for your future.

Best wishes
Bea xxxx

what a remarkable family! such strength is amazing im sure that declan is watching over you all and is proud to have been part of such a wonderful and loving family.

much love always
Leitia xx

My heart goes out to you and Dermot and the rest of your family. Declan was is an angel now, God always keeps the best for himself.

God speed little Declan, he will never be far from your side.

I'm sure he's happy and free from pain, playing with his 20 beautiful, colourful balloons.

Lots and lots of love.

Sarah. xxxx