Hi,

I miscarried 5 days ago at 14wks 4days (the scan showed that the baby died at 13wks2d). The last couple of days have been very hard. Today was the first time I left my bedroom (I'm back at work).
I find myself constantly thinking about the baby that I've lost and what I could of done to prevent it.
About 1 1/2 weeks prior to the m/c I had my second scan done. The doc assured us that everything was fine, so it just doesn't make any sense.
The hardest part is not knowing what caused the miscarriage.

My husband and I have decided to try to fall pregnant again. Does anyone know when is the "right" time to start?

Thank you.

I SAY START WHEN YOU FEEL YOU CAN HANDLE THE EMOTIONS THAT COME ALONG WITH BEING PREGNANT.GO INTO YOUR NEXT PREGANACY WITH A CLEAR MIND.LESS WORRY LESS COMPLICATIONS.FOR ME I STARTED THREE DAYS AFTER MY MC WHEN MY BLEEDING STOPPED. DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU AND YOURS.

Hi ya,

My name is Lynne, Like yourself I suffered a miscarriage at 4 months on christmas day 2007. I understand that you are back at work? are you ready emotionally to go back? I am still not back at work not due back till end of feb 08. Your will constantly think about the child you have lost it is grieve and it is very natural and very important that you go through it. All your hopes and dreams for your unborn child have died along with your baby. The good news is that there will probably be another one. You need to wait to have a full cycle my period has just been 4 weeks after my miscarraige day 1 is first day of cycle. I am trying for another baby now, it is hard but don't think about it to much relax in to it. No stress, plenty of exercise, good diet, and what will be will be. Take your folic acid as well 400mg a day get pregnacare that is what I am on. Regards all being well at scan I went to midwife on monday before christmas eve and she reassured me that I had healthy placenta sounds. My baby had died about two weeks before I didn't know a thing, no pains no bleeding no nothing. Please be reassured that it will happen just have faITH HOPE AND TRUST AND MOST OF ALL BELIEVE!
If you want to chat more email me. x

Love Lynne x

so sorry to hear your news, it must be awful to have been told at the scan all was ok. Have the docs offered any possible explanations?

I m/c at end of Nov at 11 weeks and my doc told me we could start whenever we were ready and she was pregnant within 6 weeks of having a m/c. We've only just started again cos i didn't feel ready but now think i feel strong enough. Some of the girls on here seem to have fallen quite quickly so i guess it's up to you, everyone's different.

Take care honey and give us a shout if you need to chat

Rach x

im so sorry to for your loss i had a m/c on the 30th of nov at 12 wks the question you ask about trying again i think is up to you when you are ready me and hub wanted to start straight away so we waited for 1st period which was on the 23rd of dec and we have found out today that we are pregnant again so it is your choice and i know how hard its going to be for you and no words will help pm anytime vikki

Hiya hun, im so sorry to hear of your loss, the pain must still be so raw for you. I think Nikkiw makes an excellent point, i lost my baby over christmas & I made up a box & labelled it 'our maybe baby' (the nurses told us to hold out hope b4 I actually lost our baby) in it I put in things like my pregnancy test & an appointment card for the midwife etc and I wrote a letter to my baby & so did my husband, we sealed the box & put it away. I also brought a cherub ornament to keep on our shelf & when I see its angel face I think of 'our maybe baby' and hope my father in law is with him/her wherever they may be looking down on us. It does help, It made me feel I'd had a chance to say goodbye & that i'd let my baby know ill never forget him/her!

There is light at the tunnel with miscarriages im sure & we just have to hold on & take the grieving step by step. Good Luck hun (((hugs)))

Hellen

Thank you everyone. It does help to talk about it.
I know that nothing can bring my baby back, but I sometimes wish that things could just go back to the way they were. The most vivid picture in my mind is the scan I went for when I was 12wks. The baby seemed fine...he was moving around actively.

There are times when I wish, for a moment, I could forget...forget everything, just to ease the pain.

It hurts so much.

This 2nd message made me feel really sad - you sound really low

You're grieving and probably shocked at the moment hun, your body is run down, and your hormones are all over the shop which just doesn't help, it's completely understandable that it seems like a fog that won't lift. It's cheesey but I find literally just taking one day at a time helps, it's 2 weeks today and although I'm not OK, I'm defintely more OK than I was a week ago (if that makes sense).

Don't know if this was your first pregnancy or first m/c etc but some of the girls on here talked about things they did to help the recovery process (ie, plant rose bushes, buy a special piece of jewellery to keep - infact - I've bought a pendant which has a big heart and a little heart on it which I thought was quite symbolic and I wear it all the time now so it's always close to me), granted I know that these are not magic solutions in the scheme of things, but maybe you could find something like this some comfort too.

Although our babies didn't make it here, I'd like to think it's not all over and they are all together somewhere missing us too! xxxxxxxxxx

What a beautiful message, I lost my baby on christmas day, he or she is a beautiful christmas angel, we are trying again now. xxx

I hunny
1st can i say that my heart goes out to you both. At thia sad time for you.I two do know what you are going through i m/c 17days ago. The pain is still here and unlucky for me a got a infection. But today apart from the docs and hospital was my 1st day out . I feel as if everyone is looking at me.I feel so empty and lost. The tears are still here.

I too was told to leave it 3 months at the hospital.
But our ivf clinic, that we are under told us to get back to it as soon as we feel ready. After reading peoples posts on here i would say that many do try very soon after. But i think that its a personal matter,so when you are ready.It is important to give your chance to recover physically and emotionally.

If it wasnt for the ladys on here i dont know how i would have coped. You can pm anytime im here for you anytime. I hope that all your dreams come true. Love to you both
Linzixxxxxx

So sorry to hear about your loss hun, I don't have many wise words unfortunately but do know how you feel. I m/c 13 days ago at around 9wks, and I also went back to work about 5 days afterwards. Physically I still feel low, and still feel upset, but I'm starting to have the occasional better day emotionally.

I keep reading about and hearing about all these pointers that it's "just one of those things" and there's very little that can ever be done to prevent it from happening, so I think it's just one of those really unfair things sadly that is horribly out of our control.

Consensus seems to be the "right" time is when you and hubby feel ready, the hospital advised us to wait one natural cycle (after the m/c bleeding stops) but preferably three (!). Interestingly - thats the only place I've ever heard that, not heard anyone else mention 3 cycles yet, I'm not sure we could wait that long though... (

Message or PM me anytime if it helps, and I'm sure you'll find lots of help and comfort on here, it's been a huge help for me.
Nikki xxx

Hi

I am new to this site and was hoping for some words of wisdom. Just before Christmas my partner and I were delighted to discover that finally I was pregnant after trying desperately for 12 months. Unfortunately it was short lived and I lost the baby over the New year. I was about 6 weeks and absolutely devastated. My period still hasn't arrived and I was getting a few of the symptoms, but I did a test last week and it was negative. I know this is not an easy question, but how long should it be before my first period arrives? I m/c naturally, so no further treatment was required.

Just a bit frustrated with how long it took to get pregnant and with no sign of a period, it is agony!!
xx

just wanted to say how sorry I am, know it probably won't help but it does get easier, promise. You never forget but the pain gets less raw with time and the occasional better days nikki mentioned get more frequent as time goes on. As far as trying again goes medical opinion seems to differ vastly but nikki's right, the best time is when you feel ready. Waiting 3 cycles seems to be the old-fashioned approach and as far as I know there's no medical reason you need to wait that long, all the research I've done says there's no greater risk of it happening again and it's fine for you as long as you've had no complications. Most docs tell you to wait 1 cycle but this is just so they can date your next pregnancy accurately if you fall again straight away so it's more for their benefit than ours, makes their job easier! The main thing is to get yourself strong again, physically and emotionally and I think we know ourselves when it's the right time to try again. Take care of yourself, talk plenty (on here if you don't feel comfortable talking to family/friends, at least we know what you're going through) and go with your gut instincts is the best advice I can give you for what it's worth. Hope you're doing ok, message anytime if I can help.

Lotsa love,
Clare xxx

Thank you again to everyone. Your support has helped me alot.
This has been a very traumatic experience. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy.
The days are getting better. The crying has gone down to once a day.
The silver lining in all of this is that the experience has brought my husband and I closer together. He has been so caring and patient with me through the whole ordeal. Something I forgot to mention...the miscarriage happened on his birthday.

I'll keep you in my prayers.
Baby dust to you all.

Kay

You know what it has been four weeks since my angel went to heaven, and I am so focused on getting better that has what has got me through and concentrating on getting myself well for the next baby. On saturday I cried because I suddenly thought what would my baby of looked like what would they been a boy or girl etc. But do you know what our babies are all little souls that got scared and changed their minds and they will all be in heaven together watching over us. The fact that you lost the baby on your birthday is so upsetting. You need to make it a special day. Write to your baby and say goodbye, It will get easier it can't get worst. email me anytime I will help you through.x