I m/c 3 weeks ago, and just found out about an hour ago my sister in law (who wasn't even trying) is 6 weeks pregnant...I'm pleased for them of course but it's absolutely torn me apart, and just made all those feelings from 3 weeks ago surface again.

I hate myself and feel guilty for the fact their good news has been "turned" into bad news for me (even though the only person doing it is me I think). It's just heartbreaking that the family are now all going to be buzzing for them and she'll be due about the same time I was.

Hubby found out at the weekend but couldn't bring himself to tell me til today, I tried to be brave but ended up sitting in the bath sobbing. Thought I'd come on here for a quick rant and hopefully that will get a bit more out.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to feel 'normal' around pregnant women/babies, this just doesn't seem to be getting any better sometimes.


*thanks for listening (if thats the right word?!)*

You feel like rubbish at the moment I'm sure. Somehow, finding out that someone is pregnant after a MC is one of the hardest parts.

Few monthas after my first MC I found out my financees brother and his girlfrind (21) were pregnant. I was devestated and if I' honest, so jealous.

Had another MC end of Jan this year and their son was born couple of weeks later. It's so hard seeing everyine cooing over this baby.
Also, she keeps sending me pic and updates of his progress_I DOn't WANT TO KNOW! Call me heartless or call her tactless?!!

Hope it gets easier for you-fingers crossed, our turn soon.

x

hi there,

My name is Lynne I miscarried at 4 months lost the baby on xmas day. On 2nd Jan my friend gave birth to a baby girl she hadn't spoke to me for a while as I had had probs at work and I didn't feel supported by her then when I lost my baby she text my other friend saying she had heard and that she didn;t know what to say to me!
On 2nd of Jan she text me to say she had a baby girl how bad is that I was like you cried like a baby until my five year old daughter come up to me and said mummy why are you crying? And I told her about Jenny and she said but mummy you have me! I know it s difficult and I don't know if you have more any other children. But the point is be happy becauese it will be you again if you want it to be.

Am here to listen

Love Lynne xxx

You are all brilliant...thanks for your kind words and understanding, it's so therapeutic coming on here...am trying to hang in there.

The grief is one thing but this I'm hating this resentment and jealousy thing, feel like such a cow but just can't stop it, it almost makes it worse aswell I'm sure

Lots of love xxxxx

Anyone who read my post yesterday will know I went to hospital for blood tests following m/c to be informed that I have a condition which causes blood clots on placenta.

the upshot of this is that I only have an 80% chance of having a healthy pregnancy (as compared to girls without the condition)and have to be on treatment for the rest of my life. Pretty bad news eh?

Anyway, my darling sister-in-law (my husband's twin, who by the way has not had a boyfriend for 10 years and who had a one-night stand a couple of months ago, and who also came to hospital with me for "moral support") chose last night to tell me that she is 8 WEEKS PREGNANT! She took great pleasure in telling me she's been for a scan and her baby has a good strong heartbeat!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARR RRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG--GHHHHH

Enough is enough. I must have been a right evil b******* in a past life.

Sorry - rant over. Finished crying now, just bloody angry!!!!

Lisa x

Trawling through the web for some online help, I stumbled upon this forum. Reading the posts made me realise that I am NOT alone...here is MY story

I m/c in the early hours of yesterday morning (Tue 22 Jan). I merely woke up to pee as I have done frequently each day for the past few weeks. Instead this time gushing out of me was an amount of blood accompanied with the most severe looking dark clots I'd EVER seen!! Then the cramps ensued. I knew there and then I was miscarrying!!

A few days previously I had reassured my partner that I would not be terminating (it had been an unexpected pregnancy and initially I didn't want it-fresh relationship etc). However, once the pregnancy had been clinically confirmed by blood tests, I was filled with so much love for the 'baby' growing in me...my partner and I were working through some problems and all in all we were happy about the pregnancy and SO IN LOVE.

I chose not to tell my partner about the m/c, instead choosing to tell my sister only (I wasn't sure how he would take it & I was in a bad way physically). I have spent the night in hospital where I had a D&C and got out 2 hours ago. I finally plucked up the courage to tell my partner (via text) only to find that my sister had informed him during the course of the night. They had all had been frantically trying to locate me. He has dumped me on the basis that "HE" was not the "FIRST" to know, I couldn't have loved him if I didn't feel I ought to tell HIM first etc..

My loss is MAGNIFIED now...its one thing losing our unborn child, but its another losing the man I was hoping to spend the rest of my life with...How do I bare this double loss. I am eyeing my sleeping pills with such longing right now as life doesn't seem worth living...however I keep seeing my 6 yr old daughter's face (from my previous marriage) and I am confused...

I know what you mean i had my m/c 3 wks ago too. And im the same with the pregnant women and the new babies too.

Dont hate yourself for feeling guilty its always the same everyone around gets pregnant but us.

You know that you can come on here at anytime and have a good rant. Much betetr out than in.

Its still only early days yet. It will be a bit before we feel normal whatever that may be hunny.

Take care Nikki pm anytime

Sending you a big hug Linzixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

that is just really tough. Just when you think you can't take anymore you get another kick in the teeth. I'm still having ups and downs but less downs than before. And pregnancy is everywhere, like a constant reminder. Life is very cruel but believe me it will get easier. Does your sister in law know you m/c?
Don't feel guilty, it's completely normal to feel the way you do and come and rant to us anytime.

It will happen for us very soon and next time we'll be fine.

Take care, Rach x

PM me if you need a chat x x x

I know exactly how you feel. I m/c 2 wks ago. A friend of mine is pregnant as well. Our pregnancies were only 2 wks apart. To top it all, I just found out that my husband's cousin is pregnant with her third baby. Sometimes I feel like I'm being punished. It's hard, but I'm learning to deal with it. I just keep telling myself that someday soon I will get to hold my baby in my arms.

You are not alone.
Kay.

just wanted to say it does get better, my last m/c was back in July and I've come a long way in that time. My best mate got pregnant about the same time as me and she had her little girl last week. Not gonna say it's been easy being around through her pregnancy but I managed to go see them at the weekend, held the baby and actually managed to feel happy for her which (horrible person that I am!) I never thought I would. I still desperately want my own baby but being around other peoples doesn't hurt as much as it used to, makes me more determined that I will get there if anything. Think we just have to have faith and believe that it will happen for us and our babies will be all the more cherished because of what we've had to go through. Hope you're doing ok, ranting helps doesn ... !!!

Lotsa love,
Clare xxx