hi, i'm so angry with the lack of information that doctors and midwives give you about miscarriages. When i went for my 11 week scan i was told that i had had a missed miscarriage and that it had died at 6 weeks.They said i had 2 options either the D&C or natural, i decided to do it naturally because i didn't like the idea of being put to sleep. A couple of days later i started bleeding heavily with contractions and large clots coming out. I phoned the doctor (male) and he said that it should just be like being on a period. He was no help at all. Later on after spending a few hours on the toilet i decided to phone NHS direct and they said i should get myself over to A&E asap. I fainted when i got there and was put on a drip to replace the blood that was lost, they removed the clots that were left not by D&C though and I had to stay in over night. Nobody told me it would be like that and my doctor is a waste of space. I really think there should be a lot more information on what could happen so you can be prepared.It's now 4 days after coming out of hospital and i'm feeling much better , the bleeding is very light now and my tummy is slightly tender. Does any one know if the tenderness is normal ? if so how long does it take for your body to get back to normal?
Sorry it's so long.

I suffered a misscarruage 3 weeks ago and feel very let down by our NHS i was made to feel as if i was over reacting I was even sent away from the A&E carpark because I told them I was able to walk. I cant stop crying and blaming myself I have no faith anymore, last night I cried so much I gave myself an head ache. I was was going to be on my own with the baby because the "Man" who was the father was too scared and not ready even thou he is 44 and I have been with him for 6 years. My family dont like me getting upset so I have to hide it from them. My body is not back to normal yet and I really dont know what to expect next noone has told me I keep going for blood test which is making the whole process longer for me. The worst thing is I had a termination 4 years ago and feel in some way God is punishing me.

I only found out just over 2 weeks ago that I was pregnant. As I'm 42 and was told I had one blocked tube and that I wasn't ovulating I was over the moon as you can imagine.
I was given very little help or advice other than being given loads of leaflets about Downs Syndrome and stuff about scans because I was classed as high risk with my age and all the other problems. In fact it was mostly doom and gloom from everyone.

I had some spotting but my midwife said not to worry as that was normal. However last Saturday the bleeding started with bad cramp pains and I panicked and got my fiance to take me to hospital. I was kept waiting around for hours before I was finally admitted as they wanted to monitor the bleeding. The next morning I had a scan and the doctor said I was about 5 weeks along- at the most and we would just have to keep our fingers crossed - how do these people manage to be so insensitive? I had had no sleep as I was sorried sick. They did some blood tests and discharged me and I went home but had to ring back the next day for the results which they then said were fine. I explained to the nurse that I was still bleeding and had had really bad cramps through the night but she said not to worry as the bleeding was not heavy. I had to go back for more blood tests on the Tuesday and had yet another scan and they kept asking me if I still felt pregnant - as I've never been pregnant before and was only 5 weeks along how the hell would I know?

When I rang up yesterday I was told my hcg levels had dropped and there was little doubt that I had miscarried. Yet all through the whole thing I'd been told not to worry as most of the symptoms I had were fairly normal. I feel like they gave me false hope on the Monday when they said my results were fine when I obviously miscarried between Sat and Mon.

I am 42 and this might have been my only chance at conceving a child naturally and I can't try again straight away as you are supposedly meant to wait a few months.

I have not been offered any support regarding the miscarriage they just want me to go back in a week to make sure everythings all gone. By that I assume they mean the baby.

Aren't they supposed to refer you to anyone for advice or support?

I have to say that I am really angry myself now. It's like you've lost your baby but you weren't far along so just get on with it - that's the impression they've all given me.

I'm still bleeding although the bleeding is very light but it has been all the way through. My tummy is also quite tender and I still sort of feel pregnant which is horrible.

hi fringegirl

I am also 42 years old and was 8 weeks when I started to miscarry I was taken to the A&E on Friday night I was tested and was told I was still pregnant and because I had a scan appt booked by my midwife on the 12th July they said to wait for this one the empathy from them was nil and I felt terrible. I then bled all through the weekend getting heavier and heavier.
I rang the midwife on Monday and she told me to go to the A&E again after a 3 hour wait I saw a male doctor and he just did another pregnancy test and a blood test although my urine was red he said everything was ok and to go home until the scan on tuesday (he also give a sarcastic dig at my age I told him sophie is42 and she had just concieved but I bet she would not get that treatment!!! this was 7pm at 10.30pm I miscarried at home the tiny baby still in its sac was put into a container and I was shuttled back to the A&E at this time I was distraught and inconsolable when the doctor came to see me she said I had started bleeding I said have you not read my notes I have llost the baby she was very embarrassedand did not know what to say .
I think A&E wards should not deal with pregnant women we should be sent to the maternity unit straight away to doctors who know what is happening it does not matter how old that baby is it is still your child whether it is 8 weeks or 38 weeks .. I am trying again for a baby life is too short to wait for my period so I hope i catch on like some of the ladies on this site.
The bleeding stopped after 10 days and I took a test which was positive so why not try straight away
No matter how old you are you should be treat the same

i'm so so sorry for what you have been through .i can't believe what they put you through it's just awful. When i was pregnant the first time round miscarriage never really entered my mind because things were going ok and i got a healthy daughter out of it but this time round it's only when you go through something like this that you realise how little support there is out there and that miscarriage is losing a member of the family no matter what stage you are at because giving birth is probably in my opinion one of the most memorable days in your life and to have that taken away is just not fair. People need inofrmation and support when they go through something like this because it's such a traumatic thing to happen. I really hope everything goes ok for you in the future. And that you get what you want. Good luck!!!

Hey there,

First of all sorry to hear about your loss. I too just recently (feb. 1) also miscarried at 11 weeks. I guess the difference being that i had a blighted ovum. my doctor said the same expect bleeding and cramps a little heavier than a normal period. OH MY GOD, i found it to be excruciatingly painful. Doubled over in the middle of the night for about 4 hours. the cramping became milder and lasted about 2 full days. Bleeding lasted another week. For me i was pretty tender for about a week or so. My husband and I have also not been able to have sex b/c this seems to bring on bleeding again even though i had been witout any spotting for pretty much a week and a half. Anyways i agree that there is not enought detailed info given on exactly what to expect and what the warning signs are to seek medical help. Well best of luck in your healing process, goodness knows it isnt easy, but after just having been there myself i can tell you with all honesty i understand what you are feeling.

Take Care
Careyrunner

thankyou to everyone, i have learnt more from forum sites than from any doctor or midwife. It's not nice to see someone else going through what you've been through but it's nice to know that you're not alone and these things do happen.

Hi Kaz,
I'm sorry that I have no advice for you, but I wanted to reply to say that I'm so sorry to hear about what you have been through!!!
I hope that every thing starts to go OK, and that the pains pass soon!
Best of luck for the future, and you are in my thoughts!
Janice
x.