Hope someone out there can help me.

Just over two weeks ago, my daughter-in-law had to have a termination at 20 weeks. The scan showed no amniotic fluid and serious defects with the baby's kidneys meaning he would not survive if she went to full term.

We expected psychological problems after the event. What we did not expect was the physical symptoms - she is still in severe abdominal pain (she is taking co-drydamol heavy duty painkillers) but telling us they aren't helping her at all. She is also still feeling very sick. The doctor has prescribed her some anti-sickness tablets but she is still feeling and sometimes being sick.

She has been drinking alcohol on an almost daily basis since the termination. We have spoken to her about this as we think it may not be helping, and may even be stopping the tablets from working but she won't try to stop. I'm also worried as she is refusing to use sanitary towels, and is insisting on using tampons. I think it's too soon, and she could be making things worse.

It's difficult to know how to help as I don't want to be the interfering mother-in-law, and I suppose it's possible that I may be very old-fashioned and am completely wrong about all this. But I am very fond of her and although she will have to go through a lot of mental anguish for a long time, she will probably cope with it a bit easier if she can get physically fit.

Has anyone else had any experience of this at all? Any views?

Thanks

hi and im sorry to hear
but it sounds like shes drinking to take the pain away (well at least for a while)and your roht to worry about her,,,,maybe she wants to go the doctors and tell him how badly affected her.maybe shel get the proper help
good luck hun
linzi

It sounds like she been very traumatised by the whole thing must be a terrible experience for her to go through and even if you try to help no doubt she wont want to listen to anyone as when youre going through something like that no matter what anyone says you dont want to know and even though it makes perfect sense you ignore it. Cant the GP refer her for councilling or anything? didnt she recieve some aftercare advice. I have read that after a d and c which is what i had as someone else said its not good to use tampons as risk of infection is high. I dont think painkillers and alcohol is ever too good an idea especially a strong one. It must be something hard to get over maybe some councilling or something to help her mind and then she will feel more motivated to be physically fit you know its like mind not willing even tho body is able. I really hope everything works out must be a difficult thing for everyone at the moment. Take care

It does sound as if your daughter is law is struggling with what happened and needs some counselling.

The alcohol will be counter affecting the painkillers and also won't be helping the sickness,especially as she is on anti sickness tablets as well.

I have had a termination and also a d&c which is the same and I was advised not too use tampons as this heightens this risk of infection.

Is she talking about it or is she refusing to? As I have said I personally feel from what you have said she needs some professional help.

Nicki