18 months ago i gave birth to my 2nd son, we had a really rough 1st yr with him and i was a bit depressed, we decided that we were happy with our 2 boys so partner went for vasectomy. He should have had op last sep, but 2 app were sent to our old address, then just before he finally went for op i fell pregnant, after the initial shock we were so happy, i believed it was fate cos had i got preg when we 1st decided to have op i would not have coped emotionally, my son has became a lovely toddler and is not as difficult and demanding as he had been. Life was just so perfect, we were all happily planning our new addition to our family and looking forward to the future. The pregnancy was worse than the previous 2 but i told myself as long as i suffer the nausea then everthing is ok with the baby, how wrong could i have been? By 11 wks the nausea stopped, then last tue, i was just over 12wk i came home and noticed a tiny amount of blood on tissue after being at loo. I wasnt overly concerned but contacted maternity, after half a day i was eventually given a scan which indicated there was no heart beat and the baby had stopped growing at 9 wk, i couldnt get my head round it, i still had all the symptoms at that time and for 2 wk after. My head right now is all over the place i just cant believe we never discussed this before my partner went for the op, we just assumed everything would be ok. I'm now dealing with all the emotional issues that i'm sure we all go through after miscarriage, as well as the fact i cant even try again. Its so much harder to believe in fate when something has been taken away, why give us the chance to have another baby then take it away knowing we can never try again?? I know i am one of the lucky ones i have two wonderful sons, and for that i am grateful but i just regret our decision to end our family soo much, every one says time is a healer and we will get over it eventually and can get back to the place we were at when we were happy with just out 2 sons but i just dont think that will ever happen. My partner has said he will look into reversal but i know they dont just offer them willy nilly and in most cases its due to change of partner.

Sorry for rambling on so much .

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage.I know from experience how difficult it is to find yourself at 12 weeks and then receive the devestating news that the baby has died.Everyone is different but it does take time for not only the emotional but also the physical side to heal.
I am not sure what to say about the fcat that your hubby has since had the snip as I have not been in this situation.
I agree though it can be hard to believe in fate when you are hurting.It is a natural response to question why give us a chance and take it away when you are not able to try again.
I would say though maybe it would be good to get some councelling and to see if your hubby can get a reversal.

I am sorry I can not be of much help.

Nicki x