Hi everyone. Having read your questions and responses to other people, I firstly have to say I am truly sorry for the losses you have all experienced and my joy for all of you who are pregnant again. I empathise with all the messages and questions from other first time miscarriage users but I have a question of my own which I would be grateful if any of you could help with: I returned to work this morning - 4 weeks after I lost our baby at 11 weeks. While I am still sad, I have accepted the miscarriage and am delighted for every other friend I know who is pregnant. We are trying again already. However, I work in a small team of 4 girls, one of whom is pregnant and is due at exactly the same time as I would have been due. My dilemma is that while I am delighted for her, I can only see it as a constant day by day reminder of what should have been for me and I am finding that REALLY tough to deal with as work is usually stressful enough on it's own - basically, drove home in tears after work. From chatting to other girls in the team, I know they have all been thinking about how I would cope. Today, I have no idea how I am going to cope and hide my tears from this girl as I definitely don't want to take the enjoyment away from her pregnancy. Any ideas as to how to cope? I have great support from DH, family and friends but no-one has any great answers for this issue. Thanks

Me and my sister-in-law got pregnant within a couple of month of each other. I started trying before her and she got pregnant first. Finally I got pregnant. Then I found out at 11 weeks that my baby didn't have a heartbeat and I miscarried shortly after. The hardest thing for me was that her and my brother-in-law were visiting the very weekend after I found out. That was the hardest weekend ever. I cried myself to sleep each night and had a very hard time being around her. Then I got pregnant again and it really wasn't so hard to be around her anymore until I miscarried again. Now she has a perfectly healthy beautiful boy and I have the heartache of losing a second child. To make it that much harder my husband has decided he wants to wait a year or so before we try again. Also several of my friends are pregnant. I pretty much avoid pregnant women now. I know you can't really aviod her but really there isn't anything that can take away the pain of seeing a pregnant woman and knowing that should be you. It will be easier once you get pregnant again but still hard. All I can really say is just hang in there. Some day you will have a beautiful health baby!

I totally understand what you are going through. Last year I got pregnant with twins through IVF only to have a miscarriage at 18 weeks. I work as a pediatric nurse. Everyone at work was and still is very supportive. For the most part, working with kids has been very therapeutic, but lately it has been hard to walk into a baby's room, put on a straight face, and take care of the baby and the parents, without feeling a tiny piece of my heart breaking each time. Plus one of our very good friends is very pregnant, another one is due and in Jan, and today I found out a coworker is pregnant. I am very happy for all of them and wish all of them the very best. I just wish it would happen to me. We have tried IVF twice and both times failed. We meet again with the doctor again this month to discuss the next step. There is no great sure fire answer in how to deal with it. You have your good days and your bad days. You enjoy the good days as much as possible. On the bad days you go home and get a big hug, shed some tears, and call your best friend to come over and share a pint of haggendaaz icecream. Eventually there will be many more good days than bad days, and before you know it you will be pregnant once again.

I am just about to return to work after a second miscarriage, and am very nervous. Everyone at work has been very supportive, but I work in a female dominated area and will be surronded by a very pregnant woman and another who was pregnant at the sametime I was the first time round. So I'm also dreading going back and worried about how I will cope.

Dont really know what to say to you - I returned to work after my miscarriage at 8wks (very few people @work knew) to be greated by my heavily pregnant friend & three other people who announced their pregnancies (one would have been my due date). I work in a much bigger place so it is easier to get away from them. All I can say is take every day as it comes & talk to your work mates - tell them you are very happy for them but that it is hard - be honest - discuss baby things when you want to & walk away from discussions when its too hard - they will pick up on it & hopefully learn to be more sensitive!! A more extreme method - get a new job!! I am joking - just trying to make you smile!! Hope this helps xxx