My second pregnancy had progressed with no problems ( no sickness which was a massive relief) and all blood tests came back fine.

At 16 weeks my routine check up was good and babys hear was booming away.
I was 18 weeks when i noticed some brown blood on going to the toilet - i hadnt felt too good the previous weeks - like period cramps but much lighter and stabbing pains in my boobs.

I called the maternity hosp and they asked me to go in to be on the safe side but said it was nothing to worry about. The midwife cold not find my babys heart beat but said it is normal, she would try again in half an hour..... an hour later she tried again and still nothing..... she would get another midwife but the ward was very busy and the waiting in between was agonising and totally distressing. Internal exainations concluded everything was as it should be. The next midwife came and she could not detect a heartbeat either. I had to wait on a portable scanner as it was the the early hours of the morning by now and we hadbeen there since 930pm - and still they couldnt conclude - but we knew ourselves our little angel had passed away and drove home feeling utterly distraught as i just wanted to know - but i still had hope!

I returned to the hospital the following morning for a full ultrasound and they confirmed there was no heartbeat. I have to say the staff were amazing, we were treated with consideration, compassion and respect and eveything was explained to me about what to expect . I was given tablets to induce me that day and was booked in to the labour suite the following morning.

My labour pains started around 5am and i started to bleed so my partner and i went to the hospital. I gave birth to Benjamin at 235pm on Tuesday 15th July.

Our little angels body has now been released after the post mortem - which can take up to 6 weeks - and he will be cremated tomorrow. I am totally distraught and dreading tomorrow but glad the waiting is over.

I have had the most supportive partner and he has been my rock as i have not been easy to live with, but sometimes you do feel alone with your thoughts as us women normally do.

Goodnight my little darling, we will never forget you.

to hear your heartbreaking story

I hope saying goodbye will help you and bring you strength - my thoughts are with you

Lisa x

Thank you for your message - just getting ready to go - have been awake all night just feel so sick.

Its hard to believe that so many of us have to go through this pain.

xx.