I lost my baby at the 6 week mark around two weeks ago. I know this sounds stupid but I wont let my partner cuddle me in bed or touch my bust I just feel so distant from everyone even though I love him more than ever after being there for me when the baby died. He's just as upset and I know I am bottling it up but I dont want to try again for ages now.

My heart went out to you when I read your message as I have been in the same situation as yourself. First of all, I am so sorry that you have lost your baby and only know too well what you are going through as I have lost 4 babies and after 9 and a half months in hospital where
I ended up nearly losing my life, I have a beautiful girl who is now 15 years old. However, I remember only too clearly the first time I miscarried and felt just like you and couldn't bear the thought of being touched as I was afraid to face the thought of a possible miscarriage should I get pregnant. However, I had to think how my husband was feeling and was aware that he was trying to do everything to make things better for me and all I was doing was turning my back on him. He didn't talk about what had happened in fear of upsetting me and I didn't even ask him how he was feeling. I had to get my act together for both our sakes and try and see what having a baby would do to ease our grief. I had four miscarriages but as I have already said, I did go on to hold a pregnancy up to 38 weeks and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl and I was pushing 41 at the time!!! I have never forgotten my little babies and think of them when their birthdays would have been. However, time is a good healer (although I used to go mad whenever I heard anyone saying this). After my last miscarriage (when I was 42) it was decided that it would be best for me to have a hysterectomy and somehow I went along with it
as I had developed cysts on my ovaries. However, I ended up having my womb,fallopian tubes, ovaries and cervex removed!! This is something I have found very difficult to deal with but again time has helped but left its problems. I am glad that there is now a site like this where women can go on and speak their minds and help others which in turn eases all the pent up feelings. There was nothing like this when I went through my miscarriages, difficult pregnancy and finally
the hysterectomy so I am so glad for everyone who needs to share the grief, lonliness and sadness that a miscarriage brings that this site is available. I really wish you peace and do try even to put your arms around your partner and both of you heal each other and try again. You never know what might happen. It did for me. Sincerest best wishes.

Hi,

The way you are feeling is totally normal. I have just had my miscarriage confirmed this week and I am also not in the mood to be cuddled or even want to speak to anyone. Wish I could lock myself in a room and not have to speak or see anyone, including my husband.

I feel as though I am the only one bothered (but I know that is not true). Feel so empty since my scan.

Take care.

Hello, I know how you feel, I had my second miscarriage 3 weeks ago at 6 weeks. It's a traumatic time and it takes it's toll on you and your partner. Its important to try and talk about it if you can, alhough you may not see it, he is probably feeling very similar to you. Dont be afraid to cry and scream and shout if you have too, punch a pillow (I did) it feels better to get it off you chest. Your doctor may say that what you lost was a bunch of cells (that was my doctors advice to me) however you have lost your baby, you need to grieve and it helps to do it together. It brought me and partner even closer to understand how each of us was dealing with the loss.

It is so important not to be hard on yourself, give yourself time, explain how you feel rather than just pulling away - he wants to be there to comfort you (and he probably wants the same from you). If you dont feel like a cuddle, explain what you have told us, that you love him, more than ever, you're just trying to heal. It will work out, just dont rush yourself, keep the communication open between you and everything else will follow. Dont be in a rush to try again, you will know when it feels right.

I hope this helps.

Lots of love and hugs to you both.

Sarah. xx

for listening to me I still feel strange I don't want to be in my job at the moment either but i have had to come back to work even though I hate the people there, so I am just throwing myself into looking for another job in the investment banking world to take my mind off of things, the doc said the same sort of thing to me sarah and I think to be honest with you it's a cheek to say things like that the hospital were a shambles as well the doc held my blood clot over my head whilst talking to some junior nurse about another case while my legs were wide open and i had that hanging over me you can only imagine the mental scars that has caused me.