i just turned 18 years old and found i was pregnant 2 and some change months ago at first my dad was ok with it but then a week went by and he said that i had to get out as soon as i turned 18 which was december 11th. my now fiance wants the baby but he is an aircraft inspector and there aren't jobs in his field here in connecticut he has lost everything he is living in a shelter which is where i might end up if i don't get an abortion. i love this baby i love life and i know it's not my place to decided whether or not this baby has the right to live. im not god there for i shouldn't be deciding it's desitiny. im just so confused because i have no recourses but everything can change im only 10 weeks along.if i got an abortion i would go mad and i don't know what i would do with my self. i told my father that if i don't have it together by 7 months that i would put it up for an open adoption but he isn't taking that for an answer

Dear Alimay,

Most of the women writing on this forum are from the UK and are at a disadvantage compared to you in the US. You see the Pro life movement is really strong in the US and lots of people give up their free time to help girls in exactly your situation. It looks like there is a lovely resource in your state:

The Crisis Pregnancy Center, Inc. 30 Mill Street Unionville, CT 06085 (860)673-7397

Whatever your background or belief system they are there to help you in a confidential manner.

It looks like you and your boyfriend are in a temporary financial situation, but if he is qualified as an aircraft inspector there are lots of jobs available, maybe just not near you. Both of my brothers are in this field of work and yes it does involve moving to where the jobs are. Maybe there are other problems or addictions aswell with your boyfriend, but you say he wants this child, and that is really positive.

Your dad is trying to pressure you into an abortion, but you know in your heart that this is not the right thing for you. You are afraid of ending up in a shelter, but the thing is that a shelter would be just a temporary place, where you could stay and have your baby and arrange your future training and education and get back on your feet. I dont think you should be so afraid of this. It might even be the best thing for you at this point and time. It sounds like you are being put under tremendous pressure from your Dad, and at least in a shelter you would have some time and space for yourself. It is not an admission of failure, it might just be the smartest move for you now. It would also be in line with your Fathers wishes for you to move out.

You are young, and probably really scared, but you can do it. One small step at a time. I would suggest that the first step would be to ring that number and take it from there.

Take care
Siobhan