im not expecting any replies from this msg as it may seem a bit harsh but all those choosing to have an abortion due to not being careful, please take a look on other forums about women who are trying there hardest to concieve. i think it is very selfish to have an abortion when there are women who cannot have children. you should think yourself lucky you can have children. if you dont want to make the decision of having an abortion then KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!
Dont get me wrong i can understand in some circumstances that an abortion can be acceptable but to those who have one due to there own stupidity, i hope in the future you experience the pain of not being able to have the one thing you want more than anything in the world... A BABY.
Thank you for taking the time to read my views on the matter.
Remember, your mum had the choice to abort you but she didnt. x

Are you suggesting that we give unwanted babies to people who can't have them??


By the way, one with the name 'busteebird' will not be encouraging me to keep my legs closed, thanks. By the way, it's spelled 'busty'.

I think all people are entitled to their own opinions in terms of whether or not they believe in abortion, however, this kind of post is un-necessary.

I recently found out I was pregnant. I am not careless, nor am I stupid. I take my contraceptive pills every day and have done for a number of years. Unfortunately when on holiday I was prescribed anti-biotics and other forms of medication which caused my contraception to fail. I was not made aware that this would be the case.

I had an ultrasound scan on Monday and found out I am 5 weeks pregnant. I was given my first pill and antibiotics yesterday and will proceed with a medical abortion tommorrow. Although I feel sad, I will not regret my decision.

I am 21 years old and have studied 2 years for my A-Levels, 2 years at University, spent a year on placement and have now just returned to University to complete my degree. Some of you may think it is selfish, however, both myself and my partner wish to form a life for ourselves, there are things we want to do, travelling etc. Im looking forward to becoming a real adult, having the type of job that I have spent so long working for.

One day I will have children but I want this to be when the time is right. I have huge respect for those that would face this kind of situation and dedicate their life to giving their baby the kind of life they believe it deserves however I, more than anything else, do not want to bring a baby into this world when I am not prepared. I dont have the money, I dont have my own home and more importantly, I am not mentally prepared for a child.

I have been with my partner for about 7 months, however, earlier in the year his ex girlfriend made a re-appearance to say that she was 7 months pregnant with his child. She said that she had only just realised, however, regardless of whether nor not this is true he had to face the fact he was going to be a dad. He was so disappointed, he didnt love this girl, he didnt want a child but unfortunately had no choice. I stood by him through this and now help out as much as I can when the baby is around. Some of you may think that this would make my situation harder however, his situation has made me realise how important it is to bring a baby into a world where it is wanted. When he told his family they were devastated and although the baby is given all the love he deserves, he was still not wanted and that is heartbreaking.

What Im trying to say is I dont want to have a baby because I feel guilty. When the time is right, I want to have a baby because Im ready for it.

I cant believe that someone would be so horriable i mean you obviously sont have a clue what your talking about! I have seen alot of very young girls that aint even legal in consultation rooms about having an abortion and yes the one's you see time after time it does get upseting to see as they take it so lightly so if you mean in them circumstances then fair enough but i cant count the amount of people i have seen that have had a termination due to circumstances beyond there control such as rape cases, in cases where contaception have failed IF ABORTION IS SO WRONG WHY IS IT LEGAL??????????

obviously this is an old post but it infuriated me. How dare you judge someone when you don't know their situation? 'keep your legs closed'? What an awful thing to say. Every single person on this earth makes mistakes, how dare you make other people feel guilty over their mistakes when they would already feel terrible enough as it is?

I was as careful as I could be, taking the pill religiously and using protection during intercourse and I still conceived. Nothing is 100%. Is that my stupidity? Should I bring a child into the world when I can't possible afford to raise it, financially or emotionally? I have nothing left emotionally to even support myself right now let alone a child. It is more selfish to bring a child into the world when you can't adequately provide for it.

Your post would have offended so many people with it's generalisations. What if I were to generalise and say 'I see so many people with children out in public who I think should need a licence to have children and should never have had them - I bet you're one of them' ? That'd be a huge generalisation on my part but similar to what you are doing by posting what you did. If you think in such black & white, ignorant terms then there's a likely chance you are one of those people who was possibly not fit to be a parent but went ahead with it regardless. I think that is a much more selfish and damaging thing to do than termination. Bringing a child into the world when you can't provide for it properly affects more than just the mother & child it affects a lot of lives. It is a merciful act sometimes to decide to terminate and is incredibly hard on the people who have to make that choice.

You have absolutely no right to say the things you did. If you have strong beliefs against abortion I suggest expressing those beliefs in a mature, articulate manner rather than being so aggressive and offensive to people who come on here for help because they have no where else to turn. Some people are so mentally unstable with the grief and emotion of this decision, can you imagine what your post would do to them? Suicidal thoughts are not uncommon and the sort of thing you posted could easily push someone over the edge, so I strongly suggest you think more carefully before you post something like this in future.

I read this old post a few weeks ago and it made me so angry/upset. I cannot beleive someone could be so unbelievably heartless and naive! The decision to have an abortion stays with you forever and is not something you do lightly and someone with such a small mind and as inexperience as busteebird does not help the situation at all!

I agree that everyone has their own opinions but theres a way and expressing those and "keeping your legs closed" just shows how little they know about the situation.

I totally understand where you are coming from in the fact there are people that would love to be parents but people that have abortions do not choose to have one to spite these people that can't have them. As sad as it is, some people it isn't meant to be for them to become parents. But somebody who has an abortion is not going to change that. I have recently found out I am pregnant and I am deciding to have a an abortion not for selfish reasons but for the future of my unborn child. I have nothing too offer this baby but love and babies can not just survive on love alone. I have no home where I am happy, no financial income and no father figure. I made a stupid mistake in not being careful with birth control and its something I deeply feel guilty for and so I should. My ex is in prison at the moment and I don't know how long he is going to be in there. Do you really think you should have a baby if you can't offer them the life they deserve?

I STRONGLY AGREE. THATS ALL I NEED TO SAY.

I can see this is an old post but cant resist to reply. Personally, I have never been an advocate for abortion however I know that there are certain circumstances that may warrant such a decision. I DO NOT advocate abortion post 12 weeks purely due to the way an abortion has to be performed at that stage but that is neither here nor there with this post.

I am one of the women that you - busteebird - talk about in terms of struggling to conceive and have suffered three miscarriages and a meeting with a specialist who kindly told me and my husband we would never have children. My son was due on Saturday just gone - he is currently two days late and still deemed the baby who we were never supposed to be able to have!

What I want to know is what gives you the right to speak on behalf of all us women who have struggled to have children?? As someone who has gone through fertility problems I would NEVER wish the pain of not being able to have a child on anyone no matter what their background (with exclusion of sexual preditors and sexual offenders of course.)

The thing is that I would rather (and I am sure I am not alone on this) accept abortions than have children born into this world to families who cannot look after them and do not want them. I have always said adoption is a far better option but for some they are simply not strong enough to go through nine months of growing a baby and then hand it over. Psychologically some just arent as strong as others.

We all make mistakes some younger than others and some older than others. I have read posts on here from women in their forties asking for advice on having an abortion.

Going back to the comment you made about, 'hope in the future you experience the pain of not being able to have one thing you want more than anything in the world,' I am assuming that you are currently going through your own turmoil of having a baby. For someone who wants a baby with such a passion how can you wish that on anyone???? Myself and husband have struggled for years. That pain - I could never ever wish on anyone.

Remember those who have had abortions have to live with that decision for the rest of their lives. What gives us the right (no matter what our views are) to throw that decision in their faces. If you are wanting to make a difference and help try talking someone out of an abortion by offering a shoulder to cry on and a list of other options WITHOUT the judgement.

Thank you for your thoughts and opinions, it really helped me. I truly feel for anyone who wants a baby and finds it hard to concieve.
But I have decided not to go ahead with my pregnancy im 8 weeks pregnant but I feel I don't have enough to offer for this baby at my present circumstances and I want my baby to have the best life possible. It might sound selfish that it's because I don't want to struggle but im thinking of the future for the both of us. I think the post where it was said that because you have an abortion, you don't deserve to have another baby is very upsetting. I hope that I am not punished in not being able to have more children but if I was then I would only have myself to blame. Ive really not taken this decision lightly. I think I will suffer for some time afterwards but in time I will know ive made the right decision. I don't think I am strong enough at the moment to cope with a child 24/7 on my own and I think it would be worse to go through with the pregnancy to then not be able to look after the child who will benefit worse then... my baby. I do want to be a mum one day but im just not ready too go it alone

You say you dont want replys yet your write a message you know everyone on here will reply to.
I do not think you are writing this to tell people they are wrong i think you are trying to make them feel GUILTY about having an abortion so they dont go ahead with it.

As for women ttc thats a load of s*** i run a site for parents, pregnant women and women ttc and they have all said they respect my decision to have an abortion for the following reasons.
1 it was 5 months after i had my son id just lost my house and was living with my dad
2 The day said he wouldnt want anything to do that baby but did want to know the one i already had
3 It is a lot harder having a chil and passing it over after birth then having an abortion.

Having an abortion weather you wanted it 110% and didnt care about the baby etc or weather you was forced into it is still a tromatising exerience and one you will never forget so i very much doubt someone would keep coming back for abortions after having one even if they are a cold hearted bi**h with out a very good excuse.

Obviously you have kids and you would never get ride of them like i would never have got rid of my son as i love him to bits but may if you was in someone elses shoes like on here maybe you would have had an abortion.

I think you telling other women to keep there legs closed is pretty perfectic people post here for help and advice not to be told that someone hopes they feel pain of not been able to have a baby in futur cause believe me that is sick anyone who can say that to people regardless of what they have done isnt right at all sorry but someone can have 100 abortions an i still wouldnt wish someone as bad as that on them.

And i think your post would have hurt and upset a lot of people on here weather they have had one or are thinking of it.

You say you dont expect replies but put a message up like that and your bound to get some sort of response.
Have you ever been in a situation where you have had to make one of the tougest decision of your life. To abort or not?? Im guessing the answer here is no, because like you, prior to my two abortions, i was totally 100% against it and thought all women who did it deserved to be punished! BUT when i found myself in a situation where another baby just wasnt possible, my whole opinion on the subject changed. I actually realised what a hard decision these women have to make and nobody eneters into it lightly. I really do respect these women who have to make this choice as believe me ITS BLOODY HELL!!
I really think you should KEEP YOU MOUTH SHUT!!! I really would not wish anyone the pain of not being able to have a baby in the future, regardless of wether or not they have had a termination!!!!!

im just wondering what right you have ssaying this to people? a woman has the right to do what she wishes with her body, some people do everything right and can still get pregnant, deciding to have an abortion is an extremely hard decision and i dont need the likes of you trying to guilt trip people into keeping babies they cant cope with. keep your nasty opinions to yourself women dont need people like you preaching to them when they are making a hard decision like this.

i understand where you are comming from but this post made me so angry. how can you think people in a very difficult situation are selfish? i have never knowen anyone on this forum as using abortion as a form of regular birth control! and you wish people who have had an abortion the pain of not being able to have a baby!
yeah there are some stupid people out there but it makes me angry to here that because like many other woman i have had an abortion and it was the right choice for me at the time and yes i was using controception and still managed to get pregnat. and just to presume were all having terminations coz we dont know a bout condoms is wrong!
you probly just made things a hundred times worse for a lot of people through your lack of empathyand guilt pushing.and in which case how can a termination be right in some cases and wrong in others?
any one who has had an abortion or has decided to keep their baby has my full suport and the last thing we should be doing is pigeonholing each other when were just looking for help and comfort! xxx

Well said didds im totaly with you on this one i felt like a complete Kn** ppl only come on this forum for advice and comfort not for ppl to tell them they desrve pain!! xxx

ur right my mum did have the choice to abort me and she didnt - but to be quite honest i would have prefered it if she had. she has been a rubbish mum when she has been around (which has not been that often); i have had to drag myself up and had to endure things that i wouldnt wish on my worse enemy because she wasnt around. i want to be able to give my children a good life and right now i cant. i do agree with some of what you said... some women use abortion as a contraceptive (ok not quite like that but u get what i mean) which i think is totally wrong and i also agree that i am lucky to be able to conceive. BUT nearly all the women who consider abortion it truely is their last option in (what is to them) a completely desperate situation. it really isnt a case of "keeping your legs closed" and it certainly isnt a case of the woman's stupidity (for one thing a man does have to be involved - hehe). it's not about "some circumstances" each case should be taken on an individual basis, they cant be clumped together - it just dont work like that. i know that i am no expert on the subject and that this time last month i wouldnt have DREAMT that i would ever be in my situation.

I DO feel bad for those that cant conceive, i wish i could change their circumstances but i cant. I am presuming that you can not conceive, i got told that i couldnt. i know that telling you that is going to p*ss u off even more as i am now going to be getting rid of this 'miracle' but you see sometimes its not as clear cut as you seem to think it is.

Lastly, i understand that you are in pain/bitter/distraut at not being able to have kids (if that is the case) but to be brutally honest hoping that someone else has to endure the pain of not being able to have kids is appalling and indecent. You seem to think that its all black and white but.. just imagine how hard it is to decide to get rid of what is almost definately the only chance you will ever have of motherhood. that is what i have had to decide - there are a lot of grey areas to abortions. Like i said, you shouldnt clump them all together but take it on a case by case basis. there is only a few things that are constant with all abortions and that is that a woman has had to come to one of the most difficult decisions of her life and have to endure the most horrid, terrifying and loneliest experiences of her life

sorry.. please dont be too mad at me but thats just how i feel x

this part about it does involve the man aswell to make a baby. if i read your story correctly you decided not to tell the father. (please accept my apologies if i have read this incorrect), therefore if it takes a man to make it shouldnt he have the right to kno however painful or inconvenient it is. with all due respect, and this is not just aimed at you, women say its just as much the mans doing as much as the womans (it takes two to tango), but yet its totally a womans choice to abort. i feel this is unfair on the man. it takes two to put a baby there, it should take two to decide what to do with it. i understand i dont know your full circumstances, that your personal business, and as i stated in some circumstances it is fair to abort, but im sorry, no offence, but i find it totally unfair that when women gets pregnant due to both parties being irrisposible, i think it should be disussed with the father.
i didnt mean to sound bitter about the part of wishing pain on women who abort. this may have been read out of context. i have friends who have got pregnant from sleeping aroung, catching stds etc... and go and have an abortion like its a visit to the dentist. there are a lot of other women out there who are the same. i think these women should think about what they are doing and just realise how painful it is not to be able to have the thing they are throwing away like it is last nights leftovers. (please dont think i am putting you in this category), these are just my general views on abortion. of course i dont know what your situation is, but i just ask you to think, it took you and the father to put the baby there, its just as much his baby as much as yours, do you not think he has the right make this decision with you. how would you feel if he rid of something half yours without telling you.
sorry if i come over as a bit harsh, im not like that at all. at the end of the day its a decision you will have to live with for the rest of your life and im just glad i wouldnt have to live with the regret.
i do hope for your sake that you dont look back and regret it and that it is a decision you know you will be able to live with comfortably for the rest of your life. a baby is a blessing that not all women are blessed with, its just ashame its given to people who are notgoing to give it a life.
all the best.
p.s im sorry to hear of your harsh upbringing. my mum spent her life in and out of childrens homes and im just so thankful that shes the best mum i could have wished for.

Ouch, that bit about the man was a kind of lighter hearted way of making my msg less harsh n bitchy - not my main point. BUT u r right and i do agree with you in principle (telling jake is probably the right thing to do) but in my situation i felt i couldnt. NOT because of jake but because of external reasons, which makes me feel worse as i am not telling him because of other people - no fault of his own kinda thing.
i agree that it is very unfair on the man. but i am not one of those people who says "its just as much the man's doing" at least i havent been throughout this - i kinda feel that that is trying to push blame/responsibility. i completely agree with you about the way some women use (or more correctly misuse) abortions - condoms are available(!!) But fyi jake and i used protection even though i didnt think i could have kids so we werent, as you say, being irresponsible.

And in my opinion i dont think i read that comment out of context. you wished pain on other women - great pain that is overwhelming, horrific and crippling. the only way you can read a comment like that is how it is wrote

everyone has there own opinion on this subject and at end of day its each one to there own. although abortion is not something i agree with in general, i do wish you well and just hope you can put it behind you afterwards. ive never had to make this decision so i hold my hands up to saying i wouldnt understand how you are feeling at the moment. this is your decision and i wish you well. peoples opinion on this subject could go on forever and theres no right or wrong in the matter, its just an opinion.
regardless of our disagreements on the subject, i do hope all goes well and would like to read a msg off you on ere saying you made the right decision and you are getting on with your life well. best to concentrate on the things you have got, not what you havnt.
just to be clear, (in a non bitchy way), i only wish women who do these things carelesy could experience the pain of no even having a choice. again ones opinion which many would agree with and many would disagree.
i just hope afterwards, you are happy with your decision more than you regret it. theres no worse feeling than regret.
regardless of my views, i do understand it cant be an easy decision and something you have probably given a lot of thought.
again, all the best.

well i think your out of order untill you know wht its like being pregnant and having to make this desicion you shld keep your mouth closed u dont realise how hard it has been for me and gymjams and the rest of the women on here that has been through it or going to go through it... all of us had to make the right desision and it took us time and PAIN to do it... u have got to see it from our side!!!

im not putting all women who have abortions in the same boat. i can understand that in particular circumstances an abortion is acceptable. my point is aimed at women who have carelesly got pregnant without any thought for contraception then have anabortion. these women are killing a life due to there irrisponsibility. i understand the pain a woman must have to make to have an abortion, but women should think about this before having sex, (again aimed at women who get pregnant carelesly). im not a bitter or nasty person, as you can see from my 1st msg i wasnt expecting replies and i never aimed my points at any particular person in this forum. if anyone has read my points and tok this offensive, or that they feel i have aimed it at them, that is not my fault. everyone is entitled to there opinion and i wudnt ever use YOUR attitude towards anyones opinion.
you are entitled to your opinion, im entitled to mine. no right or wrong.
p.s i do see it from your side, read my last comment to gymjams, i said i undertand its a decision women dont rush into and is prob hard.