i think some ppl may have read my view wrong. im not saying that every woman who has an abortion is heartless. that was not my point at all. im sure in most cases it is the right thing to do. i can understand if contraception failed, or if conceived by rape, or if there is a health issue with the baby or mother etc... (my sincere apologies if any of these examples bring any hurtful memories for anyone, this is not intentional at all). my points are purely aimed at careless ppl who have no consideration for the results of there actions. im not going to be 2 faced here. a couple of years ago a friend of mine was in a relationship but slept with someone behind his back with no thought for contraception. although i did go with her when she had the abortion, i was totally against it and she knows that but she respected my views. this is a case when i think an abortion is not right.
i am so sorry if i seemed to have but you all in the same boat, this was not my intention. i just think silly women who act irrisponsible should think about what the consequence might be as a result of there action.
again i am sincerely sorry if i have hurt anyone or offended anyone.
im sure for most of you it was not an easy thing to do.
maybe i was a bit harsh about wishing pain. what i should have put was wishing they could understand the pain one goes through not being able to have the one thing that so many women get rid of.
please dont judge me as a heartless person. these are just my general views on abortion, of course each persons circumstances are different.
im sure there are many women like yourselves who disagree with me as just as there are many who agree.

again my apologies if sounding harsh.

xxx

I dont come on here often but wanted to reply to this.

To an extent i agree, some women dont think of the consequences of their actions but i think they are poorly informed they think that an abortion is just a case of taking a pill and it'll all be over with when in reality it is not.

I would like to point out though, women are entitled to choice and theres no possible way to put in a fair system whereby the women who have what you say is a 'valid reason' can get them and those who arent careful enough don,t because its just not possible.

Also as for those who find it hard to conceive or are unable to, this obviously is heartbreaking but the fact that others choose a termination or not wont make this any better. If all the women who chose to have abortions did not then the people who cant conceive would still not be able to and their heart would still ache just as much..
Thanks

Kirst

Sorry i know that this strand is now old but i still felt the need to post.

I understand your point but dont you think that the "careless people" (including your friend) hurt just as much as other women who have abortions... they still have to go through the torturous decision about what to do; the sleepless nights; the tears; the pain. They still have to go through the agony (physical, psychological and emotional) of the actually procedure and live with it afterwards.

You said that you "think silly women who act irresponsible should think about what the consequence might be as a result of their action". Dont you think that an abortion is a pretty big consequence? Dont you think that the pain is still real? Dont you think that your friend might have cried herself to sleep at night? (just coz she didnt let it show or tell you doesnt mean that she didnt go through hell; even if it was the right decision for her i can guarantee you she would have gone through hell) You said in a previous post that your some of your friends treat having abortions like a "visit to the dentist" and like they are "throwing away last nights leftovers" but maybe they are truly hurting with a pain that just doesnt subside and wont open up to you in fear of being judged or condemned because of your views. they may feel that your friendship wont be as important to you as your strong views on the subject or dont want to make you 'choose' between supporting them and keeping with your values. Maybe your strong opinions has meant that you didnt see the signs that they needed you. You dont know what they have gone through; you dont know how they feel; you dont know what is going through their minds. You may not be aware of them crying themselves to sleep; their nightmares; their flashbacks. But i can assure you they wouldn't have treated it like a visit to the dentist or like just throwing out last nights leftovers.

Your first post said that you "think it is very selfish to have an abortion when there are women who cannot have children. you should think yourself lucky you can have children. if you dont want to make the decision of having an abortion then KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED!" How is that not putting us all in the same boat? And sorry but in my opinion that is harsh and unnecessary; you could have easily got ur point across without saying something so cruel and quite ridiculous - its not a case of keeping your legs closed.

I am truly sorry that you are finding it difficult to conceive (if that is the case sorry if its not) and do wish you ALL the luck in the world. But lets say you conceive, you have a girl and she grows up. She then tells you she is pregnant and wants an abortion. Will it be oh so different for her because she is yours? Will it be a case of 'acceptable circumstances' in your eyes for her to have an abortion? Or will you never actually find out because she feels unable to tell you no matter how desperately she needs to talk to you, wants your advice or is just crying out for a hug?

Sometimes the only way to begin to understand someone else is to walk around in their skin for a while... something which you just seem unwilling to do

i think we both have very strong opinions on this matter, im not saying im more right than you or that youre more right than me. we are both going through very different but difficult situations at the moment and could not fully understand each other unless we were in each others shoes. each and everyone has there own thoughts and views which many will agree and disagree with.
my views were never intended to hurt anyone, its just my opinion on the matter which everyone is entitled to, as you are entitled to yours. i do sincerely apologise if anyone has been hurt or offended by my posts.
you asked how the situation would be if my daughter was ever in this situation. i am a very approchable person, i would always advise my children that no matter how much trouble they are in, they wil always be comfortable speaking to me. as i previously stated, in some circumstances i can agree with abortions, but no matter what the circumstance was if my daughter did have an abortion due to her irrisponsibilty, i would still disagree with it but its her choice, as it is with any woman. im not a biast person, my opinions do not change for nearest and dearest.
i absoulutly understand your point about people no always showing there feelings, but i do find it hard to believe they are that hurt about it when continue to make the same mistakes, but you are right what a person shows on the outside is not always the same on the inside.
i dont want to get into a bitter debate with you, at the end of the day, theres no right or wrong in each ones opinion. i have had messages from women like you (sorry not meaning that to sound bi*chy, just mean women who have same views as you) and ive also had pm from women agrreing with me. its a very touchy subject for many women.
again i do sincerely apologies if i have offended anyone. i am very thankul for your replies as i do like to hear other peoples views, wether they agree or disagree with me. im sure you decision was the right thing to do for you. although you may not think so, i am a very understanding person, and do understand that each persons circumstance is different so please dont judge me to be a nasty person as i am not like this at all.
personalities can be difficult to put in words.
i wish you all the very best and hope you dont look at my mane and think, 'ohits that heartless bi*ch, lol.
take care
x

i do understand you compleatly and every one is entilted to their point of view and i also know its very hard to word such a sensitive subject.
yes there are very careless ppl who dont think about what will happen next but these ppl probly cant look after themselfs or dont fully understand the outcome of what they have done, but the majority of ppl just want comfort help and support at a difficult time.