omg!!! am i the only person that thinks this woman is a complete disgrace, 3 abortions!!! did you not learn from your mistakes? do you plan on having any more abortions in the near future?? btw nobody forces you to have an abortion, its your decision at the end of the day. its quite easy for you to sit there and say- oh my bf made me... does it make you feel better in some way? i would understand if a person made a mistake and had 1 termination but to go on and have 2 more. you should seriously look into a form of contraception. i pray for you!!!!

Hi,

In November 2007 I found out I was pregnant which was unplanned.
It took me a week to tell my BF as I did not know how he would react.
When I did tell him he was certain he did not want a baby yet I am 26 he is 28 so we are not kids.

Anyway for weeks all his concerns were was when I was getting "rid of it".
It was such a heart breaking decision to make and I am surely paying for it now!

Its my third termination (not proud) this time I went for the pill method and it was not easy infact it was worst!

He says he loves me with all his heart but I keep asking myself if this man loved me why would he make me have a termination?

He reverted back to normal almost straight away afterwards where I have been in floods of tears constantly and still unable to come to terms with it.

Grateful for some advice x

omg!!! am i the only person that thinks this woman is a complete disgrace, 3 abortions!!! did you not learn from your mistakes? do you plan on having any more abortions in the near future?? btw nobody forces you to have an abortion, its your decision at the end of the day. its quite easy for you to sit there and say- oh my bf made me... does it make you feel better in some way? i would understand if a person made a mistake and had 1 termination but to go on and have 2 more. you should seriously look into a form of contraception. i pray for you!!!!

the only woman on here who thinks this. Abortion is a strange thing. It is such an alien thing for a woman to do, goes so totally against the essence of femininity (the one thing a woman can do that a man cannot) that when a woman gets an abortion it kind of changes her. I dont know wny, but one abortion leads to another. This is backed up statically, something like 50% of all abortions are repeat abortions. Maybe it is about re-enacting trauma to better understand it, maybe it is to try to justify the first abortion, maybe the womb has a void which needs to be filled by another child, but the circumstances have not changed. Maybe it is about punishing herself. Who knows.


I do know however that postings such as yours are really no help. I think women who had abortions need our love and sympathy, and not our judgement.

And yes, some women are forced into having abortions.

Be careful about casting the first stone here.

God Bless
Siobhan

My bf didn't want the baby so i had to do the same - i findit so hard as it wasn't what i wanted but i coudln't afford to do it on my own.. and he knew that i suppose. I have a good job but don't have spare cash etc
I just wish i'd had longer to think about things.. and more time to find out my options.

Hope you're ok x

Hey hun

Hope you are feeling ok today.

Have you tried sitting down with him and having a long chat with him and let him know exactly how you are feeling?

It sounds to me this may have been more his decision than yours so he really needs to know what you are going through, and if he loves you as much as he says, this is one of the times he really needs to show it.

I hope it gets easier for you hun, I had a termination 7 years ago and went through all the emotions but have made the most of myself since and come out happy.

Big hugs xx

Hideilu,
Really pleased you responded as you did. I've read so many posts about abortions ruining people's lives, but you say you're now OK. I had a termination recently and am really struggling. One side of me tries to see reason and recognise that I wouldn't have coped with another pregnancy, but then I can be in tears within a few minutes. How did you feel at the time, how old were you, and how long did it take for you to see light at the end of the tunnel. I know we're all different but it would be great for somebody to give me some hope that I will lead a normal life again one day.

I guess to love someone is to wish the best for them. It is a big generalisation, but I think women deep down want to be cherished. This is about more than just sex or attraction or making the other person feel good, true love involves sacrifice. Only you can truly tell if your boyfriend can tick any of those boxes. I would not lay money on it.

What your boyfriend loves is probably that you are there for him, to make his life more comfortable and interesting. You offer companionship and sex and maybe share the cost of the rent. He is probably physically attracted to you, and ye probably have good chemistry together. Maybe this is enough for you.

As for someone who will cherish you for the rest of your life, I suspect that is what you want. I think he showed his true colours these past few months, and although you are really hurting in the most fundamental way right now, if you stay with this man (boy) the same thing will probably happen again.

In order to deal with your pain you can get post abortion counselling. If you PM me with the location of your nearest town I will put you in contact with someone who is there to help you.

I think you are worth more than this. I hope you think so too.

Hugs
Siobhan