Hi, I'm a 24 year old mum of three and i just wanted to talk to other people who are going through the same as me. I had a termination about 5 week's ago and have regretted it since. I have three children 5,3 and 7 months and love them to bit's. I was on the pill but was late and was showing sign's of pregnancy so i went to buy a test and it was positive. So i told my partner, who is going through a tough time at the moment as he is training to be a train driver, he was not chuffed to say the least.
So i said i'll see the doctor and explain the situation to him, who didnt really help at all, he was really useless. The only thing he did do was phone the hospital to arrange a scan because i had to consider all options.
I went to the scan with a friend as my partner had an exam, they called me through and i lay on the bed while they done the ultrasound. The lady was making a strange noise as if to say o dear! She looked at me and said there's two and would i like to look? I said no, all i wanted to do was get out and speak to my partner. I rang him and he couldnt say too much as he was at work but said we will talk at home, so i rang my mum, she was speachless. We all sat down that night and spoke about it, my partner said we could not afford two more but considered it because it was twins and my mum was pulling the other way saying i should think hard as she had a termination when she was younger and regretted it. We went through yes,no, yes,no. My heart was saying to keep them but my head was saying not to. It all got too much for me so i made a decision to see the doctor and make the appiontment and my partner came with me. We booked for a termination and i cried and cried all that night and started to change my mind as i felt bad so i told my partner who thought we shouldnt keep them, so i told him to ring his mum because i know what she would say. She told him not to put me through it, we decided to keep them .
I lay in bed that night and all i had going through my mind was everybody saying how hard work it's going to be and how would i get five ready for school in the morning. I spoke to my friend's and all but one thought i shouldnt keep them. Everyone thought it wouldnt be fair on the three i have and they will miss out on my time and wouldnt have much in life. I was in bed every night by seven, i was so tired and snappy. I started to feel the weight of five on my shoulder's, so on my own decision carried on with the appiontmenat at the hospital.My parntner said he will stand by me whateva. On the morning i text my partner and asked are we doing the right thing and he said yes. It was not painful i cant remember anything, and did not feel anything after but now as weeks go on i wish i had not done it and feel there are two missing in our family. I cry all the time, i have good and bad moments. Its just hard as there are twins everywhere i look, on the telly in magazine's and my friend is due in may with twins.
I cant talk to my partner as he say's we cant change it, my breasts still tingel and my hormone's are all over the place.

Can anybody tell me how long i'll feel like this?????????

I promise.. i was also on the pill and it happened - partner went mad and said we couldn't go ahead as he has a child with his ex and said it would ruin his life and his child's life etc etc and he'd have nothign to do with me- so i panicked and did what he wanted - not what i wanted. my breasts carried on 'feeling preg' for about a month and that was so so hard.. my appt was at the end of January - and it is only this week that i feel happy again! i thought i'd never laugh or joke again.. but i am!
i still feel sad when i see preg women and wish i still was - but know i can't change it..
How you doing now?
Take care - it will get easier.. and the men don't have the same feelings as it's not their body - they never felt preg..
x