hi ladies.
I recently lost 2 babies & my sister-in-law had a baby girl in october, shes just admitted thats shes just aborted another child, I really dont know how to feel about it now, shes said she doesnt regret it & is refusing to use contraception, she wants my brother to have the operation so she doesnt have to use contraception but my brother refuses because hes only 34 & has 3 children & says its much easier for her to have a coil or something fitted.

Im neither for or against termination, I believe we all have the freedom of choice & different circumstances call for everyone to evaluate their own options. I just dont know how to act around them now, I dont want to seem cold or bitchy but they didnt do much to hide whats happened even though they know we desperatly want a baby but ive had 2 miscarriages in less than 5 months.

I know some of you ladies are probably thinking 'well what kinda response does she want from us?' but I just thought with some of you ladies having terminated or considered terminating I just thought you might be in the same mind frame has my sister-in-law & how you might expect someone like me to react?

Any advice would be appreciated because Im just struggling to understand how my s.i.l is thinking. Many thanks

Hellen

Hi Hellen

I'm sorry to hear your miscarriages, it must be hard for you to come on here where there are lots of people who are thinking about terminating their pregnancies when you want a child so badly. I hope that you are ok and getting the support that you need.

If you don't mind me saying, your sister-in-law sounds extremely selfish to me. It is thoughtless of her to ignore how this might have affected you. Have you tried talking to her? You've said that she doesn't regret it but it may not be as simple as that. If she is refusing to use contreception now, it may not be just because she is irresponsible, it may be because she distrusts it, or because she doesn't want to mess with her body anymore. I don't know the woman so I can't say for sure.

Miscarriage is a terrible terrible thing to happen to you and I'm truly sorry, I really hope you have a child very soon. My advice would be to bear in mind that abortion can be a really tough thing to go through as well = however that's no excuse for your sister in law to be so in your face about it. Maybe you could ask her to consider your feelings and not talk about it while you are there.


Good luck and take care xx

I`m really sorry for your miscarriages. My friend had two miscarriages in about 5-6 months, than gave it about 6 months to recover physically and for her tummy for rebuild, tried again and now she`s 8 months pregnant with a baby boy. So, all I`m trying to say is hope is out there. Now about your sister in she should just get on and have eider the coil, the implant or what ever she choses fitted. She should stop being so selfish and start considering other people`s feelings too.

Hope we hear some good news from you soon x