Hi there,

I have recently found out that I am pregnant (around 7 weeks) and I am completely torn between what I am going to do.

I am 19 and when me and my partner found out it was a shock to us both. Straight away we talked about what was best due to our age, financial situation etc. and we did talk about a termination, but it's making me feel like wanting to curl up in a corner everytime I hear that word.

I have yet to tell my family this situation as i don't even know what is happening yet. But i know that they will be there for me and support me if I did decide to keep this baby. Early December last year I had an unknown and unplanned pregnancy which miscarried at 15 weeks and I couldn't bring myself to tell my mum until a month after this had happened thinking she would be extremely dissapointed. But my family were extremely supportive and helpful at this time.

My partner has said he will always stick by me no matter what, but is worried that this situation isn't the best to bring up a child right now.

But deep down i just know that i don't think i could go through with a termination. There's a baby inside of meand I would never live down the guilt. Even now after miscarrying I ask myself questions like, what if, was it a boy/girl etc etc.

I was wondering if anyone else is or has been in this situation or if not advice greatly recieved.

x x x

Hi there,

I really sympathise with your situation. I'm a guy and was in a very similar situation to you a while back. I put pressure on my girlfriend to abort as I felt it was the only way to go. To cut a long story short, she didn't take the tablet, and although at the time I was convinced that aborting was our only realistic option, I now feel the complete opposite and am eternally grateful that she didn't take that tablet.
From my experience, the fear and panic of finding out that you're pregnant can really make coming to a sensible decision extremely difficult. It was that fear and panic that made me pressurise my girlfriend into aborting, but as that panic gradually leaves you as time passes by, you begin to see clearly again. If you've aborted, this clear head can lead you into depression and guilt as you spend the rest of your life wondering 'what if'.
It sounds like you do have the support from your family which is a big bonus and your partner is already acting better than me by saying that he'll stick by you no matter what. And although the situation isn't the best to bring up a child, I'm sure your child would rather you gave it a chance than get rid of it.
I now have two kids and I've learnt a few things. Firstly, kids don't need much. All they really need is your love, if they have that then they're off to the best start possible. Financially, they're not that expensive either, we found that the family allowance that we get, pretty much covers the cost of all the bits they need, in fact I'm sure that at first, they were actually making us money!
I really hope you're ok and that things go well for you.

All the best

Ben

Well to me if you really dont want to do it or are having doubts please dont go ahead as you will more then likly regreate it.

I get pregnant about 4 months after having my son and i wasnt sure as to what i wanted i knew it was best not to have the baby but i wasnt sure if i wanted it. I did have an abbortion but as soon as i had it i realised i had done the wrong thing by not thinking it through. You could always have the baby and if you feel ok with it fine keep it but if you still feel like you are not ready for a baby give it up for adoption. I know it may sound mad but when i think about it i think i should have done that as i dont feel it was right having an abortion.

Also do not let anyone try change your mind this is up to you no one else.

If you need to talk please send me a message or email.

Jojo
xoxo

Hi Nicole,

I see no one has answered your posting yet, maybe because it is so like another one on here at the minute.

Girl, this is the second time I read your post, and it seems you really dont want to abort. The advice here from pro 'choice' ladies as well as pro life ladies has one thing in common always, and that is Follow Your Heart.

It is pretty clear where your heart stands on this one, so for everybodys sake please dont go against it.

Your partner does not sound too thrilled, but there is never really an optimum time to have a child. If it is not the money then it is the travelling or the career or some other thing. Lets face it if we were to think only like this then the human population would die out.

Maybe some counselling would help. There are so many other positive choices out there aside from abortion and it is not always clear what those choices are when you are in a mad panic. It certainly wont do any harm to inform yourself anyway.

If you PM me with the name of the town you live close to I can do a bit of research for you to find a center.

Take good care of yourself, your boyfriend and your little unborn one.

Siobhan
XXX