i feel i have to tell someone what has happened to me, i had an abortion.

i can't cope with what i've done. i found out i was pregnant in feb i didn't know i was pregnant as i had always had a period. finding out i was pregnant was a shock to say the least but i spoke to my boyfriend about it. needless to say he was not the man i thought he was as he broke up with me when i told him and then asked if i was sure it was his, it was as i'd not slepted with anyone else but him. he then drove me to a supermarket to get a test so i could prove it to him, i even had to pee on the stick infront of him.

well i was suddenly single and pregnant and with a new job and i was in the process of buying a house, i don't do things by half. anyway i wasn't sure what to do about the pregnancy and then when i had decided to keep it i had pain and bleeding, i went to the local early pregnancy clinic and had a scan that confirmed everything was ok and they also told me i was 10 weeks, a new problem arose. not only did i get pregnant by my now ex he also gave me herpes and the date for conception and the first time i had herpes matched. i was told how this would effect the baby and advised to have an abortion because of the risks.

i had a termination at 12 weeks.

i wish i hadn't had it now, i feel like i was weak i should have been stronger and kept the pregnancy, i could of looked after a child with disabilities. i can't tell my family as they are roman catholic, i feel ashamed because i've got herpes and had an abortion. i can't tell anyone about it because of the shame i have.

i also have to face a friend at work who is pregnant and fell pregnant at the same time as me, i have a reminder of what i would be like now everytime i see her, i'm really happy for her don't get me wrong but i can't cope with the feelings i'm having, wishing i hadn't had it done.

yeah i feel exactly the same way too. I had mine less than a month ago. I went through lots of emotional turmoil to reach the decision. I had a surgical procedure and was crying up until I was put to sleep. So far as long as I don't think about it, I am ok... but it is sometimes hard not too. It is also especially difficult when I am out with my friends and family (most of whom don't know about what happened) and are like "you should hurry up and get married and have kids..." I wish I can just tell them.. "I almost had and stop saying those things to me." I like kids and do want them. Circumstances just didn't allow me to keep the baby. Sometimes I really wonder is it because I lacked the courage? Only if I was just a little stronger.

I know how you feel, my story is different from yours, but i had an abortion on January and i know what you mean when you wish you would of been stronger and kept the baby, i feel the same.

Your ex was a total jerk for leaving you and i know you feel hurt, but just forget about him...you will find someone who truly loves you!

Looking after a child with disabilities isn't easy, you decided not to continue your pregnancy because you felt weak, and your boyfriend left you and there was a high percentage of risk that your herpes would of effected on your baby. You shouldn't feel ashamed, i know some people who reacted the same way you did and decided to termine their pregnancy, so you really shouldn't be ashamed of yourself.

I understand the feeling you get when you see your pregnant friend, your like happy for her but feel sad for yourself too, i get the same type of feeling. Everytime i see two happy parents and their baby i become so sad and i so regret what i did.

If you feel the need to talk, i'm here for the same reason...sometimes talking can help a lot! I didn't tell my parents about it and never will because they could make me feel worse, and my boyfriend won't understand me...but i guess that's okay because he's a guy and guys are less sensitive than us and don't know what it's like to have an abortion.

I know how you feel to hun as you may have seen my other psot.

I had an abortion due to the fact i had just had my son and my partner said if i had this one i was on my own etc so i was so terified i did what he wanted no one knows not evern my family only people on here.

As soon as i woke up after having it i knew it was the wrong thing i know i shouldnt have done it and should have had the strength to stand up to my partner and say fine but i am keeping this baby.

Guys do not know how if feels to have an abortion to them they think oh its nothing it wasnt fully growen you hadnt seen it etc so they think we dont feel like we have lost something. To them its have it and get over it and that we shouldnt keep thinking about it and should be like them but they are not the ones doing it.

I`m really sorry about your abortion ant the aftermath of it. I had mine abortion on the 14 april at almost 13 weeks. I also come from a catholic family and live in a catholic community. Hun, the process of recovery is long. I`ve not recovered yet either. I had the surgical procedure, and when the nurse woke me up and said "it`s all over now"...omg, I`ve never felt more sad in my whole life. I cried solid for 4 hours thereafter. I know how you feel, I couldn`t tell anyone too. But when I said to my mum that I had a miscariage, she wouldn`t buy it. She immediately knew I`ve had an abortion. But I was surprised how supportive she was. The catholic religion teaches us not to use contraception and not to have abortion. But what would happen if none of us used contraception? That makes things worse and things like these happen/unplanned pregnancies etc. One of my friends told me to go on the net and to find a good forum as talking about if really helps. I now still have the odd night whan I regret what I`ve done so badly And than I blame my husband and everybody else. The pain that we feel isn`t like any other pain, I feel with you. But look, you`ll have other children in future and you`ll make a great mother. We can`t turn time back but we can make the future better.

Take care
all the best xxx