Hi

Me and my girlfriend came back from holiday on tuesday and as her period was late she took a pregnancy test. 3 tests later it was comfirmed, she was pregnant...

She was immediatly upset and I supported her fully explaining that things will be ok, as we can speak & chat about whats best. 2 dats passed and we were still no nearer to making a decision. There are reasons for keeping it and reasons for not and we keep swaying between the two.

Our circumstances are this. I've just finished university and am starting my teacher training in september, so am going to be on very little money. I'm also only 22 and feel that there are still alot of things i want to do with my girlfriend, such as travel, buy a bigger house (as we curently in a flat) and just enjoy doing things together before we have children. This was always the plan but it just hasn't happened this way.

My girlfriend on the other hand is slightly older than me, 25. So I feel that if I said keep it she would. She is a policewomen in a 9-5 job and is on pretty good money.

Last night we went up to the walk in centre and had a chat with a nurse. She was good and told us to consider lots of things. Such as your relationship and effects it will have on it, your careers, childcare(if your working do you really want your child growing up in a nursery. She also told us try and make a decision and stick with it rather thna keep swaying...

I just all over the place at the minute. I feel guilty and ashamed that one of the reasons that I feel it would be wrong to have it is because that I still feel that I am abit young and want to do lots of things in life first.

Last night I suggested that we abort and girlfriend reluctantly agreed and has been really upset. She does understand the reasons but struggles with how to tell friends as she feels so guitly about having an abortion.

We are booked in to see somebody on thursday, so do have some mre time but I feel that making a decision now instead of dragging it on would be better and easier.

If anyone can offer any advice I really would appreciate it so much, as I feel that I amin a cross roads in my life and done want to make a wrong decision which would haunt me forever and hurt my girlfriend

Thank you

Think of yourself .... no matter what your decision you are not a coward, no matter what anyone on here says!!!

It's a horrible decision, i made it myself the other day, luckily my boyfriend is on the same track as me ... don't want kids yet!!

If you are adamant you can't be a father then you can't be a father, simple. You and your gf may not be together forever, could she cope without you vice versa?

Its a hard situation, also you have got to think of your gf ... but for gods sake be real with her ... all possibilities should be spoken about, i did with my bf and it helped us make a decision.

Good luck x

Hi James,

If you want to mentally devastate your girlfriend, and split up or else be the bad guy for the rest of your life with her, because you failed to protect your child from being killed, then by all means keep on your current path.


Let me be clear here, if you say to her anything other than 'Darling, this was unplanned, but lets have this baby anyway, we will love it to bits' then YOU will be the sole reason that she will abort your child.

Dont be in any doubt, abortion hurts mothers. It is one of the last taboo subjects, and women for the most part suffer in silence, but if your girl wants to keep your baby, and aborts it because you were being unsupportive, then you are looking at a life of pain together, or a life of pain apart.

You are the dad, whether you like it or not, You choose.

Please be brave, please be a Man, and not a selfish coward.

Siobhan

Have a look at the posting from Mike2673 whose last post was on 28th April at 18:30 - the title is 'Gf had termination 2 years ago tomorrow'

as they say 'it could be you.....'

you really need to understand how your girlfriend is going to feel. Its going to test you both more than you thought.

I had an abortion a year ago, i knew i couldnt have a baby, i am far too young(17 at the time), it would have been unfair to bring this baby into the world. I can honestly say though it was the most painful thinkg i have ever been through, mentally anphysically.When what I had done actually set in i got seriously depressed and completely stopped eating until i collapsed. Everyday i think about my baby and how i killed him or her, i should have protected him or her. I dont necessarily regret my decision but i hate myself for getting into the situation where i had to have an abortion.

this is why if you and your girlfriend decide to have an abortion you need to be ready to support her 100%, her hormones are going to be a mess and for a while shes not going to be herself so it will get hard. If you truly love her you will stay together.

You both need to think really hard, abortions are horrible but if it is unfair bringing an unwanted baby into the world. If for one minute you believe you and your girlfriend can handle it then you should do it. Once your baby is born it will become the most important thing in your life, and you and your girlfriend, im sure would make amazing parents.

please just think carefully and dont underestimate the after effects an abortion can have.
i hope ive helped, good luck.
xxx

when i said
"If for one minute you believe you and your girlfriend can handle it then you should do it"

i meant if for one minute you and your girlfriend can handle having a baby you should do it.
xxx