i had my first child at 18 was preg at 17... babies dad left me and tried to make me have an abortion and so did his family. it was awful but i kept going and now i am glad i had my children i still had my job and although my social life drooped a bit i can still have one if i want.....
i am pregnant with baby number 3 but my partner doesnt want it and is trying to make me have an abortion and i think i have lost all respect for him, i cant have an abortion i dont believe they are right for me and i am so scared, he wont even tak to me or give me support at the moment i only found out yesterday...
he made me feel so guilty earlier that i said i was sorry and he answered by saying its the kids you should be saying sorry to because if you keep this baby im not going to be here!
i am so shocked at his reaction but he can go, my baby is more important to me...

I'm 17 years old (yes another teen-age pregnancy) and I'm 14 weeks pregnant. I've had two scans, seen a midwife and everything so far is going well. The father and I are still together, however it was a big shock when we found out. At first my partner wanted me to have an Abortion, because although we both want children it just is not the right time. My partner is 24 and works away in Germany with the army (meaning he's not around much). However after seriously considering my options I chose to keep the baby and my partner said that he would stand by me.
Now -14 weeks on, my partner decided to tell his family (I have not yet told my family). His family went absolutly mad and are insisting that I have an abortion. They have said that they dont want anything to do with either me or the baby, and now to make things worse my partner thinks it's a good idea that I perhaps do have the Abortion.
I really dont know what to do because I want to keep my baby, but on the other hand I'm young and not ready to have a baby.
Also I've never agreed with Abortion and it makes me angry to think that I would kill my own child when there are plenty of people who would do anything to have a healthy baby.
And to make things worse, I have yet to tell my family! I know they wouldn't want me to have an Abortion, but I feel that everything would be so much easyer if I did and I could just carry on with my life.
But would things go back to normal? Or would I end up hating my partner for making me do something that I perhaps dont want to do.
Please help.

i nearly started crying when i read your post i feel so sorry for you been in this situation at 17. Im 20 and i have had an abortion when i was 17 and i felt exactly the same as you did before i had it i thought of all the people out there who cant have children and things like that but at the end of the day what you need to think about is your current situation and would your child be deprived from things that it needs. One thing i will say though is dont listen to other people although yes he is your boyfriend its you that will take the main responsability and not him its totally up to you what you want to do but please do tell your mum or someone close so you can have someone to talk to and not have to hide because i hid my pregnancy and i was showing within 2months and it was so awful and i have ended up really depressed and messed up as i still to this day havnt told anyone and its one of the hardest thing you will go through.
I hope you get sorted x

hey i was 21 when i fell preg and i was so scared to tell my parents i never told them till i was 5 months gone but once i did it was the best thing i ever done it felt like a whole weight had been lifted i think the best thing u can do is tell them first before u decide on anything good luck

I would suggest talking to your parents/family. I know that it's hard to do, but chances are that your parents are the two people on this planet that truly have your best interests at heart and will be best able to help you. Even if they are upset, that's probably because they love you and they'll probably come around. Your partners parents probably have your partners best interest at heart - not yours.

You've said that you want to keep your baby - so it would seem that you do know what to do, you are perhaps just scared to do it. Talk to your parents, hon...I would wager that it will be easier than having an abortion. Hopefully they'll help you carry on with your life in a way that best leaves you able to live with yourself.

Hi, I couldn't help but log on to this just to tell you that ALL Children are a Gift from God. They are not You ruined your life!! As some would say. Yes your life will change. Yes it may sometimes be difficult. But there is so many blessing as well. I too mad a difficult decision when I was your age. For almost the same reasons. My partner did not really want it. I was scared and alone. ( I thought) I have regretted this for 20 years. God has blessed me since with many children. But my heart still yearns for the one I did not have the courage to keep. You are a hero to do the right thing. God always provides for his own. God Bless

i had my first child at 18 was preg at 17... babies dad left me and tried to make me have an abortion and so did his family. it was awful but i kept going and now i am glad i had my children i still had my job and although my social life drooped a bit i can still have one if i want.....
i am pregnant with baby number 3 but my partner doesnt want it and is trying to make me have an abortion and i think i have lost all respect for him, i cant have an abortion i dont believe they are right for me and i am so scared, he wont even tak to me or give me support at the moment i only found out yesterday...
he made me feel so guilty earlier that i said i was sorry and he answered by saying its the kids you should be saying sorry to because if you keep this baby im not going to be here!
i am so shocked at his reaction but he can go, my baby is more important to me...

Good for you, stick to your guns! You have a great attitude. BTW the girl who started this thread did so over 12 months ago and went on to have her baby, if you read on down this long thread.

What is it with men?, why are you the one to say sorry for this? I mean did you go off and get pregnant all on your own by some miracle? Sorry, just shaking my head in sympathy here. He might come round though when he stops panicking.

You sound like a really great person, and you are making the right choice here, so take care

Siobhan

If I had a daughter in your situation I would be so unhappy to think she was trying to deal with it alone. If you can tell your family do it soon.

I was 17 when I had my son and in the similar situation. Except that the guy was a year older than me. Everyone was in my ear telling me get an abortion. But you know I think to this day I would have regreted it if I had listened. The man may or may not be there but you'll always have someone that thinks the world of you. Honestly even though I was young it motivated me to be someone better.. Do what your heart tells you.. Don't listen to anyone else.

"Congradulations "

Hello there,

My first pregnancy I didn't tell my family until close to 6 mos(first pregnancy doesn't show much)nor did I tell my boyfriend. But when i finally told my parents I nearly passed out I was so terrified.My parents couldn't believe it at start but after cooling off they start looking forward to baby. I told my boyfriend and his immediate reaction was to get an abortion,, that "we are not old enough to be parents" and "we would ruin the child's life"...I mean I didn't even consider it,,, nor my family.I figured my boyfriend would show his true colors,, if he really loved me he would be by my side no matter what decision I made,,, which he wasn't. Anyway long story short,,, I left my boyfriend ,,,had a beautiful baby girl, and my family helped me while I finished school and college, whereas my ex-boyfriend,, he told his family when our daughter was around 2 years,,,(he kept in contact for a short while ever so often,, mostly around the holidays when he feels guilty and had too much to drink)- his parents don't want to have anything to do with their granddaughter--like father like son,,, but all in all my daughter is better off now because I'm married to the man of my dreams, and I have 2 kids and one on the way .

i just read oyu post n seen that no one has replyed well its been a while since you wrote it and i dont know if you will read this but thought id reaply and c how you doin n what decision u made in the end xx

Hi there,

I felt compelled to write to you because I too was a teenage mother at the same age as you for the first time. My advise to you is to never let anyone one make a choice for you. First of all it is imperative that you tell your family. They just might be supportive and you will definitely need that. If they're not then you've lost nothing.

I would google pictures and videos of actual abortion procedures and show them to you significant other. If will drastically change how you feel about killing a an unborn child and if will allow to be able to decide if you will be able to carry the burden of your choice afterwards.

It is not the end of the world and YES it will be harder and never easy but not impossible. I have managed to go to school, Ive worked at a bank for a few years now I'm in the telecom business. It is possible with or with out him. The baby is here now. The most important thing to remember to always keep out of all of this is to NOT make the same mistake again.. protect yourself be smarter the next time around. Trust me I was 5 months pregnant with my second child when my first child was turning one.

and I'm still here..... loving my children. I am 28 with a 10 and a 9 year old. I am no longer with the father and yes I sometime think of what my life would have been like had I not had these children but after viewing those images of aborted children I'm glad they are here. It hurts me to know I once had an abortion at around 7 weeks and thought nothing of it because I was younger, I didnt quite have the same view as I do now about life.

Please keep in mind that by no means do I wish to sway your decision in any one direction. I just want to let you know that your not the first or the last... and you should at least make an informed decision. That way you will know if its something you will be able to make peace with.

God Bless and Good luck

Don't ever let anyone make a choice for you or decide something for you that you will end up regretting. If you want your baby then i say keep your baby after all it maybe the only one that you can have chances and oppurtunity only comes once in life. I am 20 weeks pregnant and have had to gone through the samething as to making choices and i made a very good one when i decided to keep my percious son babies are gift keep your baby and treasure him/her. my baby father promised that we would be there for me and the baby he has been there for two monhs and i haven't seen or heard from him since and thanks to friends i have moved on and my baby is doing just great they wanted me to abort my baby and I am happy i didn't. Don't be scared they will be the same ppl to eat back their words once that baby comes. good luck and congrats but dont anything that you would have to live to regret because even though they want you to that partner will be the same one to throw it back in your face after you've done it. he says to but trust me he don't mean it.

""

you dont want to so dont. my boyfriends family all thought it was a great idea, so i sort of did too, but people have their own agendas, and if your family wont go too mad, do it seriously. i knew my family would be ok, and in the end resented them and went offthe rails anyway, and they have done nothing but support me, follow you heart seriously or you'll regret it

Your situation hit home for me. When I was 19 I got pregnant, and at first I was thrilled, and so was my partner (so he told me). I told my parents at about 2 months and they all but told me "I better get an abortion" I was extremely offended becasue I felt it was not there decision. Anyways, that did not make me change my mond, nor the fact that my partner's mother did not think it was a good idea to have the baby. So I carried on living my life thinking as long as me and the father want the child, nothing else should matter so at about 12 weeks he tells me that he cheated on me and already had a FOUR MONTH old child. So my heart was utterly broken in half. I thought long and hard and decided I would have absolutely no help, and since I was the only person that I could depend on, and I didnt have a job at the time, I concluded to get an abortion. Afterwards for about a year I was relieved, but eventually the feelings of regret caught up to me. I felt like my parents would have helped me later on after they got used to the situation. And not that I cared for him any longer, but weeks later the father of the child told me he wished I would not have had the abortion. It only mattered to me to know that he did want the child to exist. Sooo...I felt exteremely guilty and resentful towards myself. Yeah Iwas able to finish college and get a great job, but I could have accomplished that witha child, I just never tried. Then I always felt like God was going to punish me for having an abortion. My friends and family told me that was not the truth, but I couldn't help but feel that way. Two years ago I got pregnant and suffered a miscarriage, and of course I thougth that was my punishment, and I'd be lying if I said I don't believe it was. I am now 12 weeks pregnant and praying that I actually get to meet this child growing inside of me. Anyways I wanted to share my story and let you know what I learned from it. Don't get an abortion for any other reason than it is want you want for yourself. I feel like I got ana bortion for everyone else, becasue I dont want to get it, but it seemed like no one waned to help me so I said I might as well. Make sure you are making the right decision for yourself. I think my guilt stemmed from the fact that I never wanted to abort my child.

I just saw ur problem.maybe it is a bit too late now to give u an advise on the matter,
but i need ur help. I am 16 wks pregnant and i am thinking of having an abortion. i want my baby but i got no support. my story is similar to urs. His parents wont support me and they want nothing to do with me.My parents wont accept my baby either. I want my baby too but i am not ready to be a single mother. At this stage the baby is form and too many people will dissagree for the choice of abortion coz is consider a murder.Since ur pregancy was last year, i was thinking u may help me by telling how u dealt with it.Have u kept it? have u had an abortion or gave it for adoption.Did u had any regrets on the issue after?
Its a very difficult tricky problem and seriously i dnt know how to deal with it. I am feeling so sorry that u passed this through. I am passing it now and i feel lost.

Please help me

Hi everyone! It's been nearly a year since I first wrote in this forum! Anyway, I now have a beautiful baby girl called Poppy!
I (obviously) didnt have the abortion in the end! I told my family and they stood by me through it all. Unfortunatly my boyfriend (now ex) didnt stay around because I chose to keep the baby. He left me when I was five months pregnant, because he didnt want the baby and I havent seen him since.
He hasnt even botherd to come and see his daughter!
Anyway, to all you girls out there that may be in my situation...dont be forced into something that you really dont want to do.
I kept my baby even though my ex left me and I dont regret it at all. Yes it breaks my heart to think that he's not around anymore, but at the end of the day -if he really loved me he wouldnt have made me choose like that.
I'm 18 years old and I have a 5 month old baby -I'm not ashamed of that fact. I'm not on benefits, I work -and I still go out saturday nights with my friends lol. My life has changed for the better. I dont want to be in a relationship because I've lost all my trust in men.
But I'm still young so there's plenty of time for all that!
Dont think that your life is over just because you might be having a baby at a young age -your life is only how you make it.
So I'm determind to make it a good one for me and my little girl. It's just us against the world!!
If only he could see us now...!
Take care everyone xxx

Hi, i had to reply to your posting as your story has given me so much inspiration.
im 22 yrs old, but im still a student and i am coming up to 15wks pregnant myself. it was totally unplanned as my pill was affected by antibiotics etc..and i was in total shock when i found out.
the dad has moved away as he's not from the same town as me..and he was only ever going to be here temporarily...i dont have much contact with him really, and hes made it clear he doenst want this baby. my first thought was abortion..and i seriously considered it. i even turned up to an appointment to go thru with the surgical option at ten weeks. (i only found out when i was already 9 weeks pregnant. but guilt, and fear took over, and an instinct just told me to keep the baby. i have always thought i wouldnt get pregnant without fertility treatment as from the age of 17, i have suffered problems with my ovaries, and was awaiting possible surgery. i was told there was a very low chance of me conceiving.. !! yeh right!!!
so even though i didnt plan this baby, or even want it..and even though i know im gonna struggle, and i feel very alone at the moment being pregnant without the partner..i still cant help thinking this baby is a blessing.
hearing your story just fills me with the inspiration and hope that everything will turn out ok, as i chose to follow my heart instead of my head. im still terrified and always wonder if im doing the right thing..but then you hear of others doing it, coping well, and being happy and thankful they didnt have an abortion (like yourself) and u just think, you know what, sod it, im gonna make the best of this and be the best mother i can
i too have no trust in men..but im sure we'll meet out princes one day. haha
congratulations again on your daughter and i admire your strength, determination and courage.
x

Hi, I happen to see you post and I wanted to write to let you know that I to became pregnant but at the age of 16 the father decided not to be a part of my babies life and I knew in my heart that abortion wrong for me. My parents were VERY supportive when they found out. My daughter Ashley is now 19 and in college. She is the most beautiful person, friend, and daughter to me. I think everyday to myself I don't know what I would do if she wasn't in my life. She was a and always will be my blessing.
This is YOUR body! You need to make the decision for what is right for you and no one else. You will be the one that has to live with you choice should you abort because others think you should. Go with your heart. I did.

Well I do not have all the answers but is what i can tell you is that i am 31 weeks pregnate with my 1st baby boy and to imagine me even to consider abotion would be absoulutley crazy. Do not do it to make others happy this is something you might regret for the rest of your life.I am 24 I got married at 16 I never been pregnate so this is something i have been wanting for a very long time.Just don't make the wrong decision.To me abortion is not the right way it's just a easy way out there are plenty of ways to prevent pregnacy (protction,birthcontrol or don't have sex at all)If you feel your to young for a baby mabe try exercising those options.

Hey i UNDERSTAND where you coming from its very hard to make decisions when its comes to having a child of your own.I think that his family is making it hard for you.I want to tell you not to have the baby because if the him and his family really feels that way you having the baby will make it harder for you and your partner because at some point he will begin to resent you and the baby because when things go wrong he can always say he never wanted the baby in the first place.Even though thats wrong to do he will also always have his family to back his wrong doings because they dont want your baby either.After all thats said and done still remeber this is your child and when the baby comes it will have 10 fingers and toes that you gave him or her and no mom wants to just give that up.