18 YRS OLD AND LIVE WITH MY BOYFRIEND, I WAS KICKED OUT AT 17YRS OLD AND CANT GO BACK HOME..BUT ME AND MY BOYFRIEND HAVE BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS, AND I JUST STRONGLY FEEL ME BEING PREGNANT IS A BIG MISTAKE, I WANT TO BE A NORMAL SINGLE 18YR OLD AND GO TO COLLEGE WITH NO DISTRACTIONS! IVE ALLWAYS WANTED TO HAVE KIDS I LUV THEM TO DEATH BUT SINCE I GOT PREGNANT I KEEP HAVING FEARS OF BEING A SINGLE MOM OR BEING FORCED TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP THAT I DONT WANT TO BE IN BECAUSE OF FINIACAL REASONS. IVE BEEN CONSIDERING HAVING AN ABORTION BUT THEN I FEEL THAT I'LL REGRET IT! I DONT WANT TO LOOK BACK IN MANY YEARS FROM NOW AND THINK I WOULD HAVE HAD A 9 OR 10 YR OLD CHILD WHEN I LOOK AT MY NIECE WHO WILL BE ECZACLY I YEAR APART FROM MY CHILD!



"LADYS PLEASE HELP I STRONGLY NEED SOME ADVISE"! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO I FEEL STUCK! I CRY EVERYTIME I HAVE TIME ALONE!!

Hi there,

I went through an abortion at the beginning of the year and was so scared about what was going to happen. I read a lot about regret and how it was normal after the termination to feel sad, depressed and regret your decision - which is why I think we expect we will. Don't get me wrong I am sure there are a lot of women who feel regret afterwards, but that is for different reasons. From what you say, having a termination sounds like the right thing to do for you.

I knew that it wasn't the right time in my life with my emotional state, financial reasons and a lot of other reasons. It isn't fair to bring a child into the world that you may end up resenting - that was my thoughts.

I went for the appointments at pregnancy clinics alone and it was upsetting. I was upset as I had no idea what was going to happen to me. I was afraid of how I was going to feel and how my partner would be.

Unfortunatly for me my partner wasn't fantastic with me. He did come with me to the final appointment and waited the few hours that I was having the procedure done and resting. But after that he went strange and didn't seem to really care. He just ignored what was happening as it had hurt him as well. I dodn't even realise how much it would effect him, but it did hugely. I just wish that he had tried to talk to me or try to support me as I now resent him not the termination.

I have no regret about what I have done. It wasn't the most pleasant of things to go through, but I think it was best for me and that I wouldn't of been able to give the baby all that it deserved.

I hope everything goes well for you and you make the right decision for you.

xxxx

I'm 21 and had an abortion 3 weeks ago, it was a really hard decsion to make so I can understand what ur going through. At the end of the day it is your choice you are old enough to make decisions by yourself no matter how hard..if you go ahead with it and end up regretting it then it's something you will just have to deal with. Do you feel happy about it? I'm in the exact same position as you things aren't great with my bf been with him 4 years & it still don't feel right I don't have the money to bring up a child & like you feared doing it by myself aswell so taking that into consideration is it worth it right now? I'ts not like I don't want to have a baby cos I do & that's what hurts more but you've got to be sensible about it. It's a life changing thing!! Have you talked to your bf about it?

Hiya, im 17 and i had a termination 4 weeks ago, and i must say it was the hardest thing i went through, i was only seeing the father and he had already got a son. His ex girlfriend would of stopped leting him c him so i thought an abortion was for the best...i got told that he would be there 4 me every step of the way but as soon as it was obver i havent heard from him since. I must say that i think about it alot and it does get me upset but i know it was for the best because i have my whole life to live i can go on holiday work abroad go clubbing with my friend and you can do the same, if its not the ryt tym have an abortion. But really dont be forced into it like i was.

If yuou read my thread called someone help me please, you will get some insight into how you might feel should you go ahead with this. I know not everyone feels the same as i do after a termination but i feel so so bad and would hate for anyone to go through the same as i am going through. make sure this is right for the baby, not just yourself.
thinking of you
Clare xx

i was 20 when i had a termination i felt just like you i still wanted my youth, i have never regreted what i did! i dont fell sad or cry about it, i did it because it was right for me. i did have douts wether i should or shouldnt keep it but was being swayed by other peoples opions. i know its such a short amout of time to make a dificult decesion but make sure you do whats right for you,please ignor comments like abortion is murder and so on or if you have a child you will have 6 years put on you both thoes statements are false,dont be swayed by pro life or pro abortion opions. deep down you probly alredy know the right thing to do, just do what you think is BEST FOR YOU xxx

Either way you go it will difficult! I had my first child at 17 and my second at 18. I am 27 and have a 9, 8 2, and 1 year old. I felt exactly the same way you do. I kept my baby. My life has been an up hill journy ever since! But no matter what age you are when you become a mother it will always be hard. I had an abortion todya, I was 14 weeks pregnant and I am changed 4 ever because I made the wrong choice! It was the violent, PAINFUL, and emotionally gut wrenching. I killed my child and I will never forgive myself for it! I am very poor and I was trying to do what was right for the four kids I have now, but it wasn't the right choice! I should have had the baby and given it up for adoption! I can't stop crying, and I believe my children will suffer greater than if I had the baby. When I deliverd my first child it was the purest,precious, loving moment ever! Alll the fear you felt is gone and you know for sure it was the right thing to do! KEEP YOUR BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Abortion is murder and until you go through it you don't see it that way! Insurance was the reason it took so ling for me to get the abortion, but no matter how far along you are it is still a person with a soul, feelings, and dreams! I had no right to play GOD and kill the most precious gift he could give! PLEASE, keeping the baby is the most amazing feeling you will feel in your entire life! Everything else in your life will be whatver it will be, but you will be a mother, not a killer, like i became today! PLease at least give the baby up for adoption if yoyu feel you cant raise the child, but you are a mother already, RIGHT NOW, make the right decision for the child inside of you! If your mom had an abortion you wouldn't be here. I know you are glad you are alive and can dream and want and cry. DOn't take that away from the baby safe inside of you. YOU CAN DO IT. Its not that hard, its do able, but difficult, but you will still have a life, a better one I promise.

ive bin readin these sorts of threads all day..and i dont want to sound like im judgin you any of you but wats wrong wit condoms..and the pill? if you girls dont want to get pregnant then im sorry but make the ****** where one...i feel for you i really do its not a nice situation to be in...but at the end of the day you took the risk when u were havin unprotected sex..your goin to have doubts whether you want the keep the baby or not either way ur not goin to forget it..if you worried about being a single mum..im goin to be a single mum and you know what i think i feel better for it because i am goin to bring my child up the way i want to with no interferance from a useless man, being a single mum is not as hard as it used to be
im still goin to college and working..theres plenty of help out there the baby or you dont need to suffer hardship if you decide to go it alone..make your own mind up but think very hard if this is making you unhappy because things will get harder before they get easier i hope you decide wat your goin to do sorry im my intro sounded a bit harsh good luck msg me if you need to debs

i am a 16 tear old gal and i am pregnant , im aving a abortion this friday and i no that im doin the right thing , if u have doubts then its more than likely not a gd option 4 u , wat about adoption or foster care that way if u want 2 c your child in the future u can , think hard , pretend u ant got a bf and wats best 4 u xxxxxxxxxxxtake care

Well i can say that i dont think you will regret it..i am 17 i live with my boyfriend of about 1 1/2...when i was 16 i found out that i was pregnant i dident know wat to do or ware to go ..i have plans of becoming a lawyer when i finish school..so i takled to my bf and he said it was all up to me soo i did have the abortion and i dident feel guilty about it at all..i felt a huge releise of all the things i had been scared about..well its now a year later and im finishing my senior year in school.iv thought about wat i did a couple time but you no what it was the right thing for ME at the moment..and im glad i did it YOU need to sit down and deciede what the best thing for YOU

abortion is not always the answer. Its to live with that decision and it will haunt you the rest of your life. If you can't have this child, then give this blessed child to parents who can love him/her and give her/him the life she/he deserves. Your baby didn't ask to be brought into the world. I was 33yrs old when I GOT PREGNANT, I COULDN'T TELL MY PARENTS ABOUT IT, BUT I COULDN'T HIDE IT EITHER. PARENTS WHO LOVE THEIR CHILDREN, NO MATTER WHAT WILL SUPPORT YOU AND LOVE YOUR CHILD. ALL THINGS WORK OUT IN THE END. THIS BABY IS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE. PLEASE DON'T KILL IT. FROM SOMEONE THAT TRULY CARES.WITH LOVE
p.s. I have 2 girls and I am alone with them. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without them. I get kisses from them, hugs out of the blue. Its the little things that matter in life.If I am down, they make me feel great.

Abortions do not hurt you. You are put to sleep then the operation is done. You wake up with alittle bleeding and thats it.

OP You really need to think about this. You are only 18 and you have many years to come to have children I think you sound like you have your head on the right way you say you want to go to college and make something of yourself it will be hard getting child care while you study but yes some women do this every day.

Good luck take care let us know what you do.

Hi i just wanted to say to you that i fell pregnant when i was 17 i had also been kicked out of home but luckily i was allowed home before i had to tell them i was pregnant and once i did they supported me. Although i was with my boyf i didnt really get any support but i had my beautiful daughter who's now 8, then when i was 19 i split from my boyf then found out i was pregnant again he told me to do what i wanted, i felt like i couldnt have another child with him and be a single parent to 2 young children so with a bit of pushing from his mam and my parents i had an abortion at the time i wasnt thinking about it at all i never really thought about the fact that i was pregnant it wasnt until after that i started to think about what i'd done and couldnt stop thinking about when the due date would be and would have it been a girl or boy, the truth is in the situation i was in it might have been the right decision but till the day i die i will always regret not really thinking about what i was doing. My advice is think long and hard before you decide because once you do it theres no going back and then if you do decide to do it you know that it was the right thing at the right time. Good Luck for the future whatever you decide to do x

Hi,

Im 21 yrs old and im 8 weeks pregnant. im with my boyfriend who is supportive. my mum found out i am pregnant and i dont know what i should do. i had an abortion 2 yrs ago, i dnt regret it as it was th right thing to do, how ever my mum has said she thinks i should have it, as it may stop me from having children when i actually plan it, and it will destroy me if i found out i couldnt have children. my step dad wont let me stay at home when he find out, i really dont know what to do.

can any one help me.

if you're having doubts..then don't do it. if you think you will regret it NOW, then you will DEFINTLY regret it later. i'm 19 and 7 weeks pregnant. me and my boyfriend are on really bad terms and my parents are not being supportive. my close aunt was pregnant at 16 and her bf left her and she was on her own. and her son is now 16 and they love eachother so much. you CAN be a single mother. and a GREAT one. A LOT of girls/women do it. there's a lot of support out there. please give your baby a chance. have you had an ultrasound? if you haven't, wait for it. when you see that little one, all comfy and cozy in your body, you're gonna love him from that moment on. i garauntee it. please make the right decision.

my friend had an abortion, and she told me what it's like. she said it's like they put a vacum inside of you and suck the baby out. she said it hurt like hell. and she regrets doing it. but we think that she can no longer have kids, she has had like 5 miscarries since she had the abortion. she had the last miscarrie the first week of december. i think she is mad at me cus i'm still pregnant and she's not. i'm 23 by the way my guy is 21. as far as i know this could be my last chance to have a kid. when i was with my ex, i got pregnant by him,3 times, and each time, he didnt want it, he made me get rid of it. now that i have kyle, i dont want to lose him, everyone in my family was a little mad to find out i'm pregnant. but now they are all happy for me. let me know on what you decide. in my family an abortion isnt allowed. you ither keep the kid or give up for adoption. and i dont think i'd be able to give mine up for adoption. you never things have a way of working out, tell youre family members, see what they say. and you don't allways have to be stuck with the same guy. if he don't want to help you, maybe youre family will. best of luck to you. let me know. hugs

WELL,FIRST OFF,LET ME SAY,I HAVE A WONDERFUL 16 YEAR OLD SON WHOM I HAD AT 17.I WAS SCARED AT FIRST,BUT IT HAS ALL TURNED OUT FINE.AFTER I HAD HIM,I WAS RAPED AND I HAD STITCHES FROM MY C SECTION WHEN I HAD HIM(HE WAS ONLY 3 WEEKS OLD).MY DOCTOR SAID IT WOULD KILL ME IF I TRIED TO CARRY CAUSE THE INCISION,SO I LET MY DOCOTR AND MOTHER CONVINCE ME TO HAVE AN ABORTION.WHEN I GOT A FEW YEARS OLDER,I TRIED TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD,BUT THE BABY DIED( 3 IN 3 YEARS IT HAPPENED TO).THE DOCTOR I HAVE SEEN HAS TOLD ME IT WAS DUE TO THE ABORTION.SO,JUST SO YOU KNOW,IF YOU DO WANT CHILGREN,YOU SHOULD REALLY THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE HAVING AN ABORTION.TRY TALKING TO YOUR FAMILY,IF THEY KNOW YOU ARE PREGNANT,THEY MAY WANT TO HELP YOU.....

I guess you have to think about the abortion, as this is a very big decision. I guess you can try to talk with your BF or approach your family, there must be a way out. I saw so many young mom could go to school even after they have baby.

I think if you're having any kind of doubts you should NOT have an abortion. Ive heard it really takes a toll on women. you will probably regret it. i was 19 when my daughter was born. her father left me 2 years later and i felt like my life was over....but here i am still going, and she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. i had to put my life on hold for a bit, but i wouldn't change it for the world...honestly. i look at her and tears of happiness fill my eyes sometimes. Good luck with everything!

this is a really tough one, i'm 26, and 14 wks pregnant with my first baby. When i was 18 i had a termination, deep down i didn't want to, but i knew it was the right thing, as like you, i still wanted to go out with my friends and not be tied down. Someone said to me, which i've always remembered "you'll regret having the abortion, but you'll never regret having the baby", even still, i went ahead and had it. I didn't feel any pain, i was unconcious, if you do decide to have the operation, its probably best to not look too much into the whole process. And ye, i did regret it after, i was put on anti-depressants, and it took a long time for me to sort myself out. But, looking back now, it was the right thing for me to do and that time, as it didn't work out with my ex, and i've since met a lovely bloke who i'm happy with and we're now having a baby, i've got qualifications, i've gone out and enjoyed myself. but i still think about what i did, but i don't regret it anymore. whatever you decide, just be completely certain you're doing it for the right reasons. x

When you say pregnant with your first baby, don't you mean second? At fourteen weeks, a baby can still be aborted, so you are 14 weeks pregnant for the second time. Is it right that a the value of a baby's right to life and be called such is determined by it's creator and first protector's level of interest or desire to be bothered with the inevitable commitments and consequences?

Miscarry at fourteen weeks, it's the loss of a baby's life and a tragedy.
Abort at fourteen weeks and it's a lucky escape from the ties of an unwanted foetus.

If you don't want to get get pregnant, don't have sex. My cousin had an abortion and I worry for her future sanity and mental state.

We live in a sad world where the survival of new life can be determined by it's carrier's ability to love and show compassion to her own flesh and blood.