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| Thread started by: | "Advice please, so confused re termination." Posted by princess779 15 September at 08:31
I am 28 and i have two beautiful children, my eldest is 7(from a previous relationship) and my youngest is 3 from current relationship, I met my current partner when my daughter was 1 so as far as either of them are concerned he IS her dad. I have just found out that i am pregnant, i am unsure of my dates, but i could possibly be up to 10 weeks. My initial reaction was shock but happy. When i told my partner he went mental. He keeps telling me that i must terminate because we really cant afford another baby. My youngest starts school next year so this was our chance to get back on our feet finacially. Im worried how having this baby would effect my two children. But basically my partner has said if i go ahead he is leaving, hes being really cold and dosent understand what a huge decision this is for me. My gut feeling is to keep this baby and i feel so sad that the fate of this child hangs on financial matters. But if i go ahead my children lose their dad and i end up bringing up 3 alone. I am so confused and advise would be very appreciated.
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| Messages: | | "Work things out financially" Posted by gaelfish 15 September at 12:04
Dear Princess 779 I know you think your situation is desperate right now but your gut feeling is to keep this baby, so be strong and fight for it.
If your partner threatens to walk out over this situation, there is no guarantee that if you abort this baby that he wont decide to walk out over another issue. Then you would be left with a broken child and a broken heart aswell.
In your case I would try to calm down and work out with a financial adviser (or someone who knows what they are talking about) how to start getting back on your feet financially now. It is better to bring this child into the world and put it into childcare and still go out to work when your 3yo goes to school.
Think about getting a part time job now or doing casual labour. Maybe your partner feels burdened by being the sole earner in your family, and thinks you have it cushy now yourself staying at home with the kids (I am thinking of my own experience with my husband!). But if you show your willingness to sacrifice and do some work now you may see the benifit of it later. How about minding kids in your own house? There are lots of possibilities. Maybe you can reduce your spending on the household?
Be strong anyway, and try to think of a positive solution to keep your baby, your partner and your finances in order. I know it is a lot to ask. If you want a chat or support whatever your decision, please send me a private message.
Take care and God Bless.
Siobhan
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