i'm 18 and i just found out i am about 7 weeks pregnet. i live in an apartment with my boyfriend and he wants to have it and just ask his dad who is very finanically secure for the money to have it and take care of it and pay him back later in life when we have the money. i however think this is asking too much from his dad. we have no money he is 20 and a full time college student. and i just recently dropped out of high school and am about to get my GED and go to a community college and work untill i figure out what i want to do. i'm just afraid that a child would get in the way of me trying to turn my life in a positive direction. i do not question my skills as a parent i know i would be a great one because i helped raise my 3 year old little brother. my boyfriend thinks this would be great but i think it would tear us apart i know how much money and how much time children take and he hasn't really had experience with any of that i don't think he relizes that he wouldn't be able to party/ go out with friends/ drink whenever he wanted anymore. i talked to my mom who has had an abortion and to my aunt who has had one also and they both think that at this time i should get one and just have kids later when we have money and time to raise it. i think that this is best option but i don't want to break my boyfriends heart or regret it forever. he says he won't be mad if i have the abortion but he thinks that its wrong. its been tearing me up inside i don't want to have the decision to end a persons life nor do i think i should have that decision. i'm just really torn between the two options. i have an appointment next wed to have one. but everytime i think about it i cry and cry i can't even look at my boyfriend without wanting to burst into tears. i just really need someone elses view on all of this maybe it will help.

thanks

You are already connecting with your baby, you cry because you have a connection and the baby can feel your pain, and you can feel it happening to the baby.
You have a couple options if you were to have the baby

1. keep the baby
if not
2. you can put it up for adoption

please dont take the life from your baby, having a baby turns a boy into a man, it can change them completely and make them very resonsible.

Megs,

This is not an easy decision, as I'm sure you know. But as you said, you don't think you should even have this decision. Why do you think that is? It is because there is a child inside of you, and you know that as a mom, you shouldn't have the right to end your child's life. Mom, you say you want to turn your life in a positive direction, yet you are risking living in regret for the rest of your life. If you really want to turn your life in a positive direction, you will rise to this challenge and have faith and hope that you will make it through - and I have no doubt you will, you sound very responsible. Right now, you say you can't even look at your boyfriend without wanting to burst into tears, but how would you like to live the rest of your life not being able to look at yourself? Not being able to look at the child that should be in your arms, reading stories with you, snuggling in bed with you? There will always be an empty space beside you where your child belongs if you go to your appointment and pretend the life inside you doesn't exist. For your own good, your own mental, emotional, and physical health, rise to this ocassion and choose life for your little child!

i was 18 when i got pregnant.. at college and my partner was a university. we also party and u know have a good time, we was together but no very serius as i was at college working and had a very active life, when i found out i was pregnant.. i didnt know what to do, we both sat down and talk and agreed to make things work and have the baby.

as student we didnt have much money.. we couldnt even afford rent, but my dad help us and paied half evey month. i went trought a very hard time, because we got to know eachother as we wer living together, it was hard. very hard, i lost my social life went from a size 14 to a size 22!!! ( am now a size 16 than god lol ) honeslty i had it all!

My baby is now 9 month old, and u know what.. he was all worth it!!! i also got marrieed july the 7th.. am truly happy all those tears wer worth it! stil a bit lonely as dont have many friends left but i got my baby and a wonderfull hsband. it could all not work out.. guess i was lucky but i was willing to take that RISK, ARE U?

talk to ur partner, there is more things to think bout than money.

My baby was only good thing i did in whole life, i hope things turn out ok for you hun, if u need anything... lilianaamusa@hotmail.co.uk <<< email

You have had experience in this to an extent, you know its not a walk in the park and are being realistic.

Only you can make up your mind, I had a termination at about 18 and know it was the right thing for me to do at the time.

Now I am 27 in a loving secure relationship and can give this baby so much more than when I was younger.

Your not being selfish just realistic.

Hope it all goes well,
Natalie xx

Dear Megs

Really there is never never a perfectly convenient time to have a baby, whether you are 18, 28 or 38.
The best time to have a baby is approx 9 months after conceiving it!

Why do you cry and cry when you think about aborting your baby? It is because you are human! I think you would be a great mummy aswell, as you know what sacrifice is, if you have already helped raise your sibling.

You also have something huge going for you - your boyfriend is supporting you. Although the law does not recognise it, he does have a moral right to decide what happens to this baby, it is after all the father of this child.

If he is in college, then hopefully he is on track to becoming financially secure in the next 3-4 years, which is great. In the meantime you will have to live on very little money and not go out so much. But when the baby is there, you will not want to go out so much, that I can say from the voice of experience!

The cost of pampers and formula was much less than what we used to spend on pubs and restaurants per month, and we didnt miss going out, because we had this sweet little bundle of joy at home! (I am a happy stay at home mum of 2 gorgeous boys)

With the utmost respect to your mum and aunt, they have already chosen death for one of their children, and have deprived you of a older sibling and cousin, so I dont think they are necessarily the best people to talk to. They have had to normalise and justify their decision in their hearts and minds, so their opinion is far from objective.

I admit that I am not that objective either. I hate abortion. It is prejudice against the young. I think the younger you are the more you can appreciate life.

OK so having a baby is not all roses, but it is really a lot of fun, and ye are young and strong so please please cancel that appointment girl, and dont be afraid.

Love and God Bless

Siobhan

i never thought about aborting my baby even tho money is very tight. we have a high morgage and i dont work. my parnter only just can pay the bills. have a sit down and think will you regret this decision when you are older? if his dad is going to help out with money then take it. if you chose to have a abortion then it might make your relationship suffer. i had a miscarriage and we both found it very hard
i am sure that you will make good parents. you can still get a job and work till the babies born, then maybe go back to work part time.
its your decision. dont let anyone push you into the wrong one.
private msg me anytime.
stacey n 24+5wk bump xx