Hi I have made an appointment to travel to London next week for an abortion, but since i dont know anyone whos had one, i'd really appreciate some information please.

Whats involved in the consultation(Im going to a BPAS clinic) Is it like a counselling session. Do they just talk to you and ask questions and then is there a phsical examination?

Im having a general anaesthetic, will be 10 weeks, and wondering how long I will be in the centre, and will my friend be able to stay with me all the time? Im really nervous of being on my own, and shes travelling with me to support me.


Finally, I keep having nightmares about it all, and dream that I go to the clinic and then change my mind, and end up running out of the place. Thats not an option for me cos its costing so much already, cant afford to pay travel, hotel, abortion fees etc and then change my mind. But what would happen if I did? If I had the consultaion and then cant go through with it? Would I still have to pay the full amount? Has this happened to anyone, changing their mind at the last minute? Maybe tis normal to feel that way, Im having problems admitting even to myself that this is the option I have chosen. I know this is the right decision for me, but i so wish it wasnt, if you know what I mean?

Thanks for any advice or information you can give me.

I was wondering how you are doing? I hope you are ok. No matter what happened, you can count on my support if you want to chat.

Siobhan

I am still here, was in ospital over the weekend and have changed my appt to next week. As of now I am still planning to go though I know Im not sure yet of this decision. Im just trying to get though each day for now. And its not easy, I dont think iv ever felt so low in my life.

I think I am selfish too Lilian, but unfortunately I dont feel I have any other options now. I didnt "open my legs" They were opened for me, without my consent and Im just thankful that Im still alive after what happened. Yes I am old enough, Im a 42 year old widow, who is carrying a baby I would love to have, but the father of this child unfortunately has problems that would make me worry for my safety, and the safety of this baby if I were to go ahead with the pregnancy. I cannot be tied to him for the next 18 years and as he is someone who I will unfortunately have contact with in the future, i cannot hide my pregnancy from hi either. So im sorry I disgust you, but i think i disgust myself more than anyone else could ever do. I dont see that I have any other option, apart from suicide, so while you have every right to feel like you do, maybe you could think of how your words can affect someone who is already feeling so depressed.

Thanks Siobhan, I know that you are also pro life, but I appreciate the way you put your point of view across more kindly than Lilian. As some one who campaigned against abortion during our many referecdums, I know what Im doing is wrong, but Im feeling like I never thought I would feel, and it changes everything.

To put your mind at ease I rang BPAS and if you just have the consultation and decide not to go through with the abortion it will cost you 65 sterling.

My heart breaks for you in your situation. You sound really trapped. Again I offer a friendly ear if you want to chat. I will call you right back. Just send me a private message. I too am irish and understand the cultural point of view in Ireland. Otherwise there are many trained professoinals in Ireland who can help you. I attached a list below.

So it seems that you are suffering from domestic violence. The Womens aid hotlins in Ireland is
1800 341 900 Open 10am-10pm, 7 days a week
They might be able to help you to sort out your problem. I am afraid that even if you do get an abortion there is nothing stopping the same thing happening again to you, whereas if you get this person out of your life using our legal system then you could have the baby and be left in peace. I know this all sounds really simplistic and I know I have no clue what you are going through, and a violent man can paralyse you, but when you act in fear you are not always able to be logical. There are womens refuges in Ireland where you can go and the father of this child will not be able to find you.

Today I will fast and pray for you
Love
Siobhan


Care in Crisis Lurgan0762-329900
Crisis Pregnancy Center Bangortel: 01247-451555
Crisis Pregnancy Center Belfasttel: 01232-748888
Life Belfast0232-249414
Cork Womens Counselling Network021-397256
LIFE Derry0504-264751
"Hope Alive" Derry01504/351233
The WCN International Dublin 353-1-8781075
P.A.C.T Line DublinFree Phone (1)850673333
LIFE Dublin0001-767676
LIFE Dublin021-270445
Pro-Life Caring Movement01-715583
Western Regional Adoption Com.091-523122
LIFE Galway091-566939
LIFE Killybegs073-32000
LIFE Letterkenny074-27007
Mother & Baby Home Letterkenny074-29481
St Maura's Adoption Society Letterkenny 074-29481
LIFE Newry0693-67085
LIFE Tallaght01-4623181
LIFE Thurles0504-24402
The Majella Pregnancy Centre Limerick061-468570

you trully are a bible bashing fuckwit, these girls have enough to worry about without a nut job like you filling their heads with ...
people like you make me sick, quoting the bible and generally talking ...
come into the real world and let people make the choice for them selves.

Thank you Siobhan for your kindness, i really do appreciate it, and thank you too for the agancy numbers you posted. I have been in touch with Womens Aid before but unfortunately they have never had room in their refuges when I really needed it. I am now at the stage where i think I have been able to end this relationship, he's gone and I think for now he will stay away. My fear is that if he sees me pregnant he'll put two and two together and realise that I am pregnant with his child. I cant take that chance, no matter how much I would love this baby. I hadnt intended to give so much information in the last post but Lilians really hurt me and I felt I needed to explain why I came to this decision. I am going to go ahead with my consultation, maybe I just need that counselling session, I know I cant think straight, but maybe I might be able to talk it through properly with someone whos experienced in this type of counselling. I feel I need to do that. But thank you anyway for going to the trouble of phoning BPAS for me, you have no idea how much I appreciate it.

Hey, getting that number- thats the least I could do. I only fear that if you get counselling in the clinic they may be a bit biased, seeing as they make millions of pounds per year from this business. Any of the other numbers in Ireland could offer you counselling and back up help witout a hidden agenda, except maybe you and your baby's best interests. I dont think they will Bible bash you if that is what you are afraid of. I know a woman doctor doing this and she is really kind. I will get my mum to contact her and get her permission to post her details on this site tomorrow.

Please look up the post abortive healing sites and read the testemonies of women who have gone through this procedure. www.silentnomoreawareness.org/ is a good start. At least you will know what you will face if you go through with the abortion.

Take care of yourself,

Siobhan

Hi,

Dr Rita O Connor is a friend of my mums and if you contact the Magella Center in Limerick she could help you. I gave the number in the last post. She is an experienced counsellor.

Take Care

Siobhan

Just wanted to say that my thoughts are with you !!

Keep us posted on how you are and what progress you make.

Good Luck with everyting xXx

Hey girl, take it easy on this person. She is under immense pressure and I think support and understanding is the order of the day, not judgement. A woman chooses abortion not because she is 'pro-choice' but because she feels she has no other choice. Maybe she just needs a breather to discover that there are other optioins appart from making that trip to London.

I do appreciate your pro life stance though! You are right that abortion haunts women for the rest of their lives. I see the devastating consequence of it in my husband's family, and this is over 30 years after a double abortion

Take care
Siobhan

Dear amh2007

You have put yourself under immense pressure to make this life and death (death) decision.

But there is something inside of you that is screaming for its voice to be heard. It is the voice of reason and the voice of love. You know deep down that killing your little baby is not the right thing to do. Let your heart communicate with the heart beating inside of your womb and fall in love with this little baby.

You are so worried about losing the 1000 pounds (2000 euros?) or so of travel and abortion fees, but in the long run you can make this money back, but if you kill your baby you will never get him or her back.

Your subconcious is really fighting for the life of this little baby.

Let this voice be heard, I beg you.

If you want a friendly ear to talk to to pour out your troubles, send me a private message and I will call you back, and maybe we can work out a solution together.

Siobhan