Today 27th september 2007 my baby was due and as i sit here writing this im asking myself over and over why why why ? I dont have the answer to any of my questions and i know that after all thats been done that it is my fault i never wanted this, i wanted my baby, such a precious innocent life i have taken and i have done this terrible thing how will this baby ever forgive me ? im full of questions about my baby, does that sound wrong 'MY BABY' because im the one who took it's life away, i could be sat now cradling that little life in my arms so proud and soo in love but instead im sat here feeling empty lonely and lost, i believe in Karma 'what go's around come's around' so does this mean now that i wont b able to have children in the future, i just want to write this message so that my baby knows that im thinking about what i did and they know that i love them and that i think about them every minute of the day,
im sorry i love you xx

my baby was due to day too dec 10th and can relate to this and all the emotions. some thing that helps me is that when i was unsure i wanted to keep the baby i when and bought a baby grow and a little teddy, i now keep them in a pretty box in my bedroom draw as a keepsake which i find helps me but may not help every one as every one is diffrent. mamby if you didnt get anything for your baby at the time you could go get a little teddy or something might help. Please try not to get too upset i know easyer said then done but at the time you made what you felt was the right choice and thats nothing to feel guilty about considering what you were going through emotionaly physicly and mentaly and this is probly your karma comming back at you. And one day when the time is right for you, you will be able to have children. if you ever want to talk send me a message xxx

(sorry for the rant im about to have)

as for shobian:- dont force your religous views on people who are looking for advice at diffucult times in there life.Its discusting that people like you write things like you do esspecialy on this topic when people just want help. I am a practicing pagan myself and would never force my religous views on any one ecspecialy at times that are hard for them.
and fyi if thats your view on paganism, you are worshiping the devil as well, as christianity is based on paganism.

that some of you have said that you have said about Siobhan's posts and i compleatly agree. What she posted to me was sick and discusting and to be honest if that had been sent to someone who was not of stable mind who knows what they would have done if they had seen it.

SHAME ON YOU SIOBHAN!!! for making people... FORCING people to feel bad and worse than they already do. If your god does exist then there is no way that he would judge as you do, so stop using religion as your motivation!

wont be the same ever again. my baby would be due on boxing day 2007, i dont think i'll ever enjoy christmas again. all i feel is hurt and hate, hurt for what i done and hate for myself that i could even do this. i never thought of how i would feel after i done it. i just knew it had to be done.

Dear Broken Heart,

How sad for you. You have realised sooner rather than later the consequences of your actions. All I can advise is to get in touch with a post abortive healing group to cope with your grief. Please contact an organisation specialising in helping women like you. It is called Rachels Vineyard

www.rachelsvineyard.org

East Midland
Contact: Karen James 07792 187638
Next retreat: TBA

Essex
Contact: Clare McCullough 020 7723 1740
Next retreat: TBA

London
Contact: Susan Boyle 020 7723 1740
Location: Brentwood Essex


You will be able to go through the stages of grief and resolution and forgiveness in a retreat with this organisation. If you need someone to talk to during this difficult time please send me a private message and I can call you back.

Your baby is back with God in Heaven, praying for you, because s/he wants to see you there eventually. I really must warn against what another member wrote about using a medium. This power is the Occult, does not come from God but from satan (Yes he really exists!) and will only lead you down a one way dead end path. I am not skeptical of mediums, I am scared of them. Using them opens doors to the evil spirit world that are difficult to close.
Vulnerable people get pulled into this, thinking it will provide answers but the spirits which respond do not have your best interests at heart, to put it mildly.

People are so lost these days and it is human nature to search for deeper meaning, to search for God.

Far better to speak to a Catholic Priest and confess your abortion to God. God has infinite Mercy for those who are sorry. You will find immense healing and peace there.

I strayed away from the Church for 10 years, made many mistakes and after my first confession coming back to the Church I felt that a weight of 20 kilos had been lifted from between my shoulder blades!. I had been carrying around all this junk for so long I got so used to it, only when it was gone did I feel such relief. Wow

I will pray for you. Take care

Siobhan

Everyone has different beliefs and ways of coping with painful & emotional times in order to gain some comfort. Who says that what you believe in is right, who are you to say whats right or wrong?.. The fact that you are scared and clearly not openminded says alot, people are only scared of the unknown and to be fair you have no proof your belief is the right one, no one has that power!. You do not know the person you have judged, who's to say they are vunerable or lost? you have no right to judge anyone. They were trying to bring some comfort, not making comment. We all have a choice and no one has a right to judge the comfort others gain or what method they choose!.

Who is to say I'm right? Who has proof? I think you are missing the point of discussion boards in general! This is a discussion board where people give their opinions and relate their experience. I am sorry if you felt judged or feel that I was judging someone else. You are right, I have absolutely no right to judge anybody else's motivations (we will leave that up to God) but actions can be objectively right or wrong. I do not buy into the whole moral relativism hooha, popular though it is today.

Bad experience of close family members with mediums, spirit world, tarrot cards etc hase given me a healthy awareness of the Occult. I am not judging anybody to say DONT GO THERE, just a friendly warning. Please believe that I have readers best interest at heart.
This sort of thing promises something wonderful, but sucks you in and before you know it you are worse off, more paranoid an depressed than before.

Post abortive women are very often vulnerable and lost. Maybe you do not know any, but again I do. I really have every sympathy for any woman who has gone through such an ordeal. I think they judge themselves harshly enough already and know that the last thing they need is somebody judging them!.

I do not think any method is ok as long as it gives comfort. I guess taking a shot of Heroin would give a great escape to your problems but hardly ok! I view the occult the same way. Not as fast acting but equally dangerous.

So no I am not openminded about the Occult. You are definately right there. I guess if you dont stand for something then you will fall for anything.

God Bless

Siobhan

I am actually using this site for the expecting a baby section, but I can across one of your posts Siobhan and to say I was shocked was an understatement.

I really don't think people like you are needed on this site.

Some people are religious - others simply aren't. But what is to say your god is right, or that he/she exists at all. This site is for people to help each other through PERSONAL experience, not to bible bash, with catholic, muslim, jehovah's views - or whatever your views are.

Preach in church in a mosque, even on peoples doorsteps if you wish - do not preach to people who are in need of support and guidance (not a single person you have replied to has asked for religious guidance - yet it is all you have offered).

You cannot go around forcing your views and beliefs on others - why are you using the abortion section of a pregnancy website? do you get some pleasure from telling all of these women they are bad/wrong, are killing their baby, will regret it forever??? or do you believe you are spreading the word??

Reading through your other posts I am sure you have done a lot more harm than good on this website - think very carefully before you post again. Kicking people when they are down is not a very nice thing to do. How do you know that the people you are replying to will take comfort in your words?? You don't.

My mother always taught me unless you have something constructive to say don't say anything at all. Your words of "wisdom" maybe perfect for someone who has decided to turn to the church for help - for everyone else they are simply words of torture!!!

I feel sad that you have had or heard of bad experiences but that doesn't make it wrong, I feel you are making many assumptions. I saw a medium too some time ago now and had a very good experience which did help comfort me, there was no sucking in, paranoia or depression....I just wanted to point out that our views can be painful for others and its not fair to hurt them (however unintentionally & I'm sure you never meant to, but in trying to help one girl, can you not imagine how much your words could have hurt the other). We are both on this page I believe for similar reasons, i too have lost a baby but am not lost or vulnerable and your right people don't need to be judged whatever as it is an extremely difficult time, and I don't believe that other girl meant any harm but was just trying to help the same as you and me are! Your comfort seems to be God and thats fine but its not fair to hurt or put down what others gain comfort in through good experiences. Your herion point I agree with, thats not helpful at all, but I disagree on mediums. We are all on this page to help and I don't want to argue or disuss this anymore. We all have different beliefs and thats ok, none of it is right or wrong, everyone chooses their own path. Stay Safe x

The comfort from this source is not what it seems. Please do some objective research yourself.

When you dabble in the Occult/New Age (Mediums are a part of this, same as Ouija Boards, Tarrot Cards, Fortune Telling and Reiki) you invite deamons to posess your body and or your home. Is not life difficult enough without this added complication?

Please stay safe yourself!

i have been reading through this page, as many others have, and i also have been provoked to write back by you.

It would not be fair to say i was stunned by your posts as i am aware that there are many Christians out there preaching the word for the 'love of god,' but i think you went too far, for a start by putting Ouija boards and reiki in the same 'devil' related category.

You say you have had bad experiences with mediums? well a few experiences do not mean you are expert enough to claim you know all about it. Ouija boards are clearly dangerous, but they are completely different to the art of Reiki, (which is not new age by the way- its been around for a long time,) which when performed properly is beneficial, it certainly doesn't invite demons! Such words would only come from an idiot who has had a taste of something and think they've seen it all! You may want to question your own beliefs before you take on all the beliefs you have heard of!!

New age is anything but new. It is as old as the hills, basically occult paganism warmed up and served to the hungry masses.

For more information on what Reiki is and how it fits the context of what I wrote in my previous message, please go to the website below, which is written by a previous Reiki Grand Master.

www.crossveil.org

specifically
http://www.crossveil.org/page9.html

Just ask yourself
where does the power come from?

God Bless
Siobhan

Hi, My heart goes out to you x .... I too had a termination, it was in May 2005 and it was the toughest decision I have ever had to make. I can relate to everything you are saying & feeling. I have had therapy which really helped and have now learnt to try and accept my decision. I bought her a teddy and have a memorial bracelet.

The pain will never go away, but your baby does forgive you and knows that you love them.

This is not for everyone but I personally found great comfort in a recent sitting with a Spiritual Medium even though I'm a bit sceptic. Our baby girl who I named Skye came through and dominated most of the session, she will be 2 in November.

I found it extremely emotional when the medium said that a little girl had come through for her Mummy, and was saying thank you for her teddy and memorial. She also said that she didn't want a cloud hanging over her passing, and that she wanted us to be happy again. She said she would always be with us and knew she would always be remembered and how much we love her and that everything was ok, she was with family & being well looked after.

She also said that there would be new life, that she would have brothers and sisters, and that there would be enough love for them all. (I too worried about Karma)

I hope that by sharing this you can gain some comfort. As with any Medium they cannot guaretee who will come through. If you are interested search on google for international medium, some even do spiritual potraits of loved ones.

Take care xxx

don't worry u'll be able to have baby's. every child is a blessing. i killed mine too n i wish i kept it. i feel like am selfish just because i wanted my life to be perfect. it really hard but u'll have kids. we all miss our babies n love them too xxx