i am 19 and a college student. i don't know if i'm pregnant, but if i were i know i couldn't have it right now. i have no money, my bf is stll in highscool & my parents would disown me. i couldn't go thru with it if i find out i am. anyone have any thoughts??

and yes, he does wear a condom anytime, but my mom won't let me go on the pill. and idk if i am or not.. and i'm just really confused. i need to talk to ppl who have advice & / or who have gone thru with an abortion.. plzplzplz..

Hi, I understand where you're coming from. My mother was very much like yours and because of that I ended up having an abortion at your age. Previous to this ironically I had already had already had a baby at age 16yrs. My daughter was just 6 months old when I discovered I was pregnant again (6 weeks). The only reason for having the abortion was hearing my mums words after having had my daughter 'now don't you dare get pregnant again!' and having been brought up in a fairly strict way and having already 'let her down' by getting pregnant at 15 in the first place I felt I could never 'let her down' again and so put blinkers on and went for it - at the time I had a lovely 6 month old daughter so thought I could never love another baby as much as her anyway and that the 'timing wasn't right' so armed with that belief and not wanting anyone to sway me from it, talk to me about it I went through with it. I admire the fact that you are asking about it - which suggests already to me that you know what you 'would like' to do. You see, in a way I was still tied to my mum's apron strings and I only recognise this now at the age of 35. I really could have done what I thought best even at that young age as I was married (as my mum had insisted that the child not be born out of wedlock) and was in a place of my own with my then husband. He was very good for me at that time and taught me a lot, it was only when I got to 30 that I knew I didn't want him anymore and wanted more - much to his dismay and so you grow up and into who you need to be. My daughter is now 18 and am so glad I didn't go down the route 'where you think you have to get rid of it'. Unbelievably would you belive it she got pregnant at a young age too! I tried not to sway her as everyone was saying to her that perhaps she was too young. Although she was my daughter and I wanted the best for her I couldn't help but want her to have the baby as anything else just leaves an emptiness and although she had not experienced that for herself, I didn't want her to experience this in later years. She is now 18 and has a gorgeous 2yr old, ok I'm a young 'Nanny' but boy do I love it! When I eventually (3 yrs later) told my mum that I'd had an abortion after my daughter she was horrified and reading between the lines dissapointed and has said that I could have had a complete family ie.not only a girl but a boy too - who knows? So things change... threats can be made and at a young age as you are, well, you know nothing but to believe them. See no one really knows whas going to happne in the end and ironically 'your mother' gets to learn along the way too, yes, my mum had said how she'd disown me etc. but it never happened, if anything she's needed me more and more as she's grown older. When I think back I knew more then than she knew then - I know that sounds weird as getting pregnant at a young age is classed as irresponsible'. Well I think I've been woffling for far to long - only you can decide what you want to do - all I can say is listen to your heart not your head - even though you head is screaming at you. That's what I wished I'd done second time around. It my seem impossible but beleive me its not - it works out in the end despite not being able to see it yet.. ) god bless xx

The first thing you need to do before you start thinking about anything else is take a test. Then if you are let us all know as there are lots of people who can offer you advice.

As for the pill then if you are 19 you can do what you want. The doctor isnt alowd to tell your mum anything so it would be compleatly confidential, so maby you should think about it. And you could even get the injection which wouldnt even involve you having tablets around which she would possible find.

Good luck and let us know how you get on,

xxx