HI there, i am 20 and about 9 1/2 weeks pregnant and very unsure what to do.

When i first found out i was pregnant, me and my bf decided to keep it, although i always always had a big doubt in the back of my mind.

Now i am totally unsure what to do as i really dont think me and my boyfriend are going to last, we have only been together a short time and he is no way responsible enough to be a father. He is very immature and has a cannabis addiction.

Also i am a full time student, with barely no money to raise a child with. I had so many future plans and had always wanted my family later when i have found the perfect guy, and i have a nice house and enough money to support it.

I really need some advice as i am completely torn here.

I dont want to bring my baby up without a dad around as i no how horrible it can be, and i dont want it to be complicated, like the child spending time with me, then going off to its dads, then off to its granparents etc etc.
Plus my whole life will be turned upside down, but i dont want to have an abortion and end up really regretting it and not being able to get over it.

Please help me...

clare x

Hi Clare,

I guess there are no guarantees in life. You say your boyfriend is not very mature, well a baby is one thing which can turn the boys into men, especially if his initial reaction was for ye to keep the baby. I think that is a very mature response.

Even in some rose tinted future if you find your prince charming and marry and have the semi-d, 2.4 kids and the two new cars parked out the front, well you could still end up divorcing and sharing the kids on weekends. No guarantees in life unfortunately.

Getting back to reality, you are 9.5 weeks pregnant, which is pretty far gone, with a well developed little human growing safely in your womb. Aborting your baby is really not such an easy way out as it seems, especially if you are afraid even now of regretting it.

Your life will be turned upside down by a new baby, but when s/he is born you will have the most beautiful reward you can imagine, which compensates 100 to 1 for all the turmoil it causes.

You are nearly over the worst discomfort of your pregnancy, and will soon be facing the nausia free energy filled second trimester.

Have a look at the following link, a rap song 'Can I Live' by Nick Cannon thanking his mum for keeping him. If anyone else is reading this post and has had an abortion it is probably better not to look at this video, it will only make you feel sad.

http://www.videocodezone.com/videos/n/nick_cannon/-can_i_live.html


Take Care
Siobhan x

i totally understand dont beat yourself up you need to stop and think think what sacrifices will have to be made and if your willing to do them also having this baby may well mean that your bf will be in your life for years to come and is he responsible enough that youd let him look after the baby?
its your choice and its a hard one i have had an abortion and if needed to would have one againas long as there is no doubts in your mind then its the right decision.
if you need to private mail me to chat thats fine ive been thru one and know what its like.
xxx

Hey im also 20 and a student. I considerd abortion too, however soon decided that it wasnt for me. The best advice i can give you is to go and speak to someone at your uni in confidence adn see how the university could help. Then look online for all the little bits of money available which would be sent your way (ie benifits).
You say that your boyfriend has a few problems...well maby he will grow up once it sinks in that he will be a dad. As for you wanting to be sucessfull and have a good income, job, house ect...you will have all of that if you have the determination to get yourself there. Just becasue you have got pregant first doesnt mean that the rest wont happen, it just means that the order of the way you had planned you life has changed slightly.
All im saying to you is look into all of the options, see what would be available to you if you were to continue with the pregnancy. Look into abortion really carefully then make your mind up, and listen to your heart. How you feel deep down (ie if you want it) will be the one thing which will make you regret it if you decide on a termination.
hope this helps xxx
go on www.bpas.org for info on abortion or google search bpas

elo im karly and im 18 and in the same postition and i dont no what to do either. karly x

How far gone are you?

I have a consoltation with the doctor today to discuss my options and make a decision.

It so difficult.

Are you still with the father?

xx