god i feel so confused i dont want people to hate me for not wanting a baby.
im 21 and have been with my bf for a year i fell pregnant about 3 months after meeting and had a termination and had a coil fitted as ive never been into kids and felt it was to soon into the relationship but my bf was so devastated.
some how now ive fallen pregnant again dispite using a coil and im so scared. i feel to young to have kids and understand how it will effect the rest of my life but my bf wants me to keep it. i havent told him i want a termination as i dont want to upset him and i dont think my family will be very happy with me that ive managed to get in this situation again please can some one send me some advice
thankyou xxx

firstly I've been there
sorry to hear you don't want the child, personally I think it's a blessing. sorry to say this bluntly also, but people will hate you (if you've gone through with the procedure) my ex had 'it' done in nov 04 and I still hate her (well what she did; not her) I think it's just selfish, you're prepared to have sex yet not accept the possible outcome of pregnancy. With the power of choice comes responsibility. all the best.

Hi didds,

I guess you must really be feeling let down by your contraception! I cant imagine the shock of finding out you were pregnant after one tx and a coil fitting.
I think panic is a fairly human reaction to this circumstance! Just goes to show that anybody can get pregnant despite using contraception. I heard one statistic that over 70% of all abortions are carried out on women who were contracepting at the time of conception. Sorry I cannot back this one up, was something I heard on american radio. People today are being sold the notion that you can have sex without consequence, and that is just a lie.

But all this sermonising is not helping you, sorry.

I am strongly pro life, because I know how much abortion hurts the parents. You have said it yourself that your boyfriend found the first termination devastating. I think you are still a bit numb from the experience, and I am not sure from your mail how you feel about it, or if you have even come to terms with it yourself. I dare say you have not.

Of course you now feel under pressure to make a quick decision about this baby, but I am afraid that you are not thinking clearly enough and that you will rush into another termination.

I can only encourage you to think more positively about your future with a new baby. A gorgeous baby will help heal the wounds from your first termination, and will surely bring you and your boyfriend closer together. You will discover how wonderful it is to have a small baby in the house (tiring and hard work also , but really wonderful aswell), and best of all, your boyfriend wants this child!

21 is really not too young. You will have the advantage over older mums of having loads of energy, and have less of a generation gap when the child is older.

The morning sickness will last only for another few weeks, by week 12 you should be out of it. And my most compelling argument of all is that we are talking about a precious human life here. A tiny person, but a real person. A mothers womb should be the safest place for a baby to be.

Take care, and take some space to think this one through without panic (I know this is not easy)

Siobhan xxx

its so hard, you need to really think about this and know what you want. its your body so if you really dont want it then talk to your bf he might understand, but if its just your scared cuz your so young well i had my first at 18 hes 4 now i also have a daughter 2 and one on the way which i really struggled with getting my head around cuz im at college and due start uni in september but i couldnt have another abortion so ive just changed my course for an evening one and im gonna have my babyit will be hard but they make it worth it. if you have any questions please just ask.