Hello I am only 18 and the other month my ex girlfriend told me she was pregnant and wanted an abortion- this I agreed was the right way to go about it as we werent together anymore, although i said i'd always support her whatever her decision. She decided to have an abortion. The thing is it has left me very hurt and confused and I'm not totally sure how much her story adds up. I dont want to sound like a typical insensitive guy cos thats not true, I just want to know some basic facts to help sort out my head as my ex will no longer talk to me. Ill start from the beginning. Back in early/mid October me and my ex stupidly slept together when we were drunk (we were not together at the time). On the 6th of November my ex told me she was pregnant with my child- here is my first question- do you think she could have known that early on as it was only a month at max that we had slept together? A week later I see her out smoking and drinking with her mates- surely if she was pregnant she wouldnt be doing that? 2 weeks ago she asked me to go to the hospital with her as she said the doctors had referred her to there to have the termination. I went with her to the hospital but did not go into the room with her. When she came out she said they could not do it, but with no explanation- surely if the doctors had referred her to there they would have been expecting her, or at least her doctors would have told her the ins and outs first before she had a wasted journey? On Sunday the 2nd December she told me she had had a surgical abortion- does anyone know if hospitals perform this sort of procedure on a Sunday? The next day she was back at work and come the Wednesday night (3 days after shed had surgery) she was out with all of us getting very drunk, with no signs of bruising on her arm or hand from a blood test or anaesthetic. I cannot believe that someone would be fit enough after surgery to1. go back to work the next day, and 2. be able to go out for a night out. But as I have never had this sort of operation (for obvious reasons) I wouldnt know. I dont want to call her a liar, but I've been left feeling very hurt by this all and very confused, especially as she wont talk to be about any of it. I cant help thinking she is trying to get at me as after that night in october i called an end to whatever it was we were doing and not long after got into a relationship with a girl i've cared very much for for a long time and am still with. I just wondered, would it be likely that she would have had a blood test or general anaesthetic for this sort of operation? I know this is a sensitive subject, and I know it is very wrong of me to question her but this has affected me a lot more than I thought it would and would appreciate your help with filling in the gaps I cant do myself. Thank you.

im 21and me and my boyfriend have been throught a termination and for a start i want to say im so proud of you for being so suportive (hugs).my bf was quite hurt by the descion we made but its gotten easyer for him over time.
it is quite possible to get pregnant right of the bat. but some people know they are and others are unaware for ages.my friend knew she was about 2 weeks after she had sex, i didnt relise till about 2 in half months gone and the smell of paper and bread made me sick.

however i think your gut feeling is right here though.if you have booked in for a termination they have no reason to say they cant preform the op unless ther was no baby.or she was past 16 weeks.

when i had my termination i had to go to the hospital several times for bookings and blood tests and after my op i wasnt allowed to work for six weeks, exercise,or do active stuff at all.
i wasnt allowed to drink or smoke for 2 weeks as it slows down healing time and the anastetic knocked me about for at least 3 days after my op
i dont want to call anyone a lair but something here doesnt add up with her story hope this has helped you and i hope every thing goes well for you and your gf best of luck babe (hugs)xxx

I think you have to believe that this girl did have a abortion.

A woman can realise she is pregnant as early as 10 days after intercourse with early detection pregnancy tests.
Pain relief can be given via gas mask, and the early surgical abortions do not require general anastesia.

The pain and scaring after abortion are mostly emotional rather than physical, so it is possible and very understandable that this girl was back on her feet working and hitting the booze hard to try to get blotto.

I think you would prefer if it was all a big lie, but that is just wishful thinking on your part. It is normal that you are confused, but please dont be so naive.

Anytime you have sex with a girl you could end up fathering a child. Even if you use contraception. If you think otherwise you are deceiving yourself.

Please make sure any other children which you father have some kind of fighting chance of survival.

Siobhan