Well where to begin, let me start by saying yes I am pregnant, about almost five weeks along. I have an appointment to go next week to start the "pill" termination of my pregnancy. I will be 38 years old, my boyfriend that I have been with for 7 years will be 47. We already have 3 children (ages 4,7,11). We decided that although it may not be the right thing to do it is definitly the best thing to do in our case. So knowing that like I said I have an appointment to take the pill as oppose to the surgical way.

Does any one have ANY input on which way to go, not that this is a good thing to do but I am weighing which one is less painful, less bleeding and less complications.

Please anything anyone has to say about this post whether it be good or bad I would love to hear from you.

Thank you so much for listing to me, I need input considering I have not told any family or friends so I feel alone.

Good luck to all of you and have a "Happy HEALTHY New Year"...

Take Care,
Confused

Everyone can offer you advise on whether it is right or wrong to abort.Only you can make the decision as to whether it is right for you.Regardless of whether you are pro or anti abortion I am sure you are not taking this decison lightly.

My story,I had a termination,surgical at 6 weeks when I was 31.I had two children already a 2yr old and a 1yr old. The youngest had had problems since birth which had led to problems between me and hubby.Due to being careless we found out I was pregnant.Like you I felt it would be detrimental tp my young family to have the baby.I knew I could not cope with another baby.I discussed endlessly with my hubby and also my health visitor who was brilliant.I had the termination.I have never regretted it but I do remember it and do wonder what it would have been.

Since then hubby and I divorced and I am remarried and now at 40 tyring with nre hubby to have one more...had to m/c to date.

You will make the decision that is right for you.

Nicki x

Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate your input. It sure does help to hear others and their situation. I understand it is my (our) decision. Like I mentioned before it is an extremely difficult one. I have already changed my mind, I opted to have the termination via the pill but have since changed my mind after reading stories and articles about it. I still plan on aborting but am now going to do the surgical rout. This is not the "right" discussion for us but the best.

I wish you luck and again... Thank you.

Dear Confused

You and your partber are the only people that can make a decision. You do both seem to have a lot on your plate withe 3 children already. If you have a strong relationship, then another child should not make a difference. This is what you need to think about. Is your relationship strong enough to substain this.

Wishing you the best of luck.

Jules

We have decided it is best not to put not only our relationship though it but our kid's. We already have so much on our plate, you are right. I hate to sound selfish but I know at almost 38 years old I am not ready for an infant. My youngest just turned 4. It would put not only a lot of strain on our relationship but the kid's as well. They already get such little time with Mommy that I just can't see me taking even more time away from them.

I have made up my mind and my partner stands behind what ever I want to do. He has given his input and how he feels but he is extremely supportive of me.

I appreciate you taking the time to write to me and your thoughts mean a lot, even though I don't know any of you. The fact that you all have your own issues and still find time to write to others is awesome.I know you all have your own opinions (good, bad, right, wrong), but I want you to know I value them all.

Thanks

Yeah I know this is not what you were expecting, I suppose you were relieved to be out of nappies and waking up in the middle of the night, but you sound so unsure of your decision, I would like to have a crack at talking you out of it. Please dont be too mad at me.

The best Christmas present you can give your other kids is another little brother or sister. We live in such a consumer driven society where value is placed on things, which in the end are worthless. But you cant put a price on a precious little human life. A brother or sister will be there for everybody in your family for a lifetime.

At 38 this really is your last chance to have a little baby in the house. I am afraid that if you go through with the abortion you will wake up some morning and realise what you have done and regret it bitterly. There is nothing worse. Far better to be woken up at 2 am by a hungry little baby.

Please give the gift of life to your child this Christmas.
Love
Siobhan

In some respect, I am a little apprehensive about what I have decided to do. I realize there is no turning back once I go though with it. For the most part I am scared to go though with the pregnancy (for medical reasons too), as well as terminate it too. Like I mentioned I am a little lost. My instinct and heart believe it or not as horrible as it sounds tells me to terminate. I realize trust me how sweet a new born is and I honestly don't mind waking up numerous times in the middle of the night. The problem being is the more I think about things the more sense it makes to not take this to term. The three kid's have I love and adore them and to be honest my time and what they probably presume as love for the three of them is already sped so so thin between school work, activities etc. I really think I would be taking away from the very little time they have with Mom as it is. My kid's already complain I spend too much time with this one or that one, is it really fair to bring another child into the mix. Either way you look at it (or I look at it) NO it is not fair. I am between a rock and a hard place. I am the one who put myself here, myself and my boyfriend. We should have been more careful, we are both adults and for that I could kick myself. I absolutely can not believe I did this, we did this. There are choices in life and that I have to be thankful for and act upon this one choice that my not be the right choice but it is how ever the best. I really appreciate your input everyone is entitled to their opinion and thoughts. I just have to think about the future and what works best all the way around for not only myself (and trust me at times I feel awful and completely selfish), but for the rest of my family.

Again thank you, take care and "Happy Holidays"...

www.careconfidential.com is an english pregnancy and abortion advisory service.

If you go online and enter your postcode you will find a center near where you live.

It sounds like you need to talk through all your issues with a sympathetic trained counsellor.

I think you do not realise just how horrendous abortion really is. I have been reprimanded for posting on this forum awful pictures about what abortion does to the baby, but you can look up the thread started by Krist87 if you are curious and can stomach it.

The child in your womb is just as much your child as the three running around the house. I think every mother can feel inadequate at times about not spending enough time with the kids and keeping the house in order (I know I do) but family life is a sacrifice and once the new baby is there nobody will wish it dead. Dont be too hard on yourself about trying to achieve the perfect house with the perfect kids doing all the right activities. All this means nothing in the end.

Precious human life matters though.

Love
Siobhan

on Times Online a British Journalist investigated the early medical abortion by taking a pill. A very interesting and relevant article for you methinks.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnist-s/india_knight/article2652747.ece


Excerpt:

"Regardless of how commonplace she finds abortion, regardless of how breezily she checks into the clinic, regardless, even, of the fact she may consider abortion to be just another form of contraception, surely a civilised society cannot expect women to flush their own foetuses away in the privacy of their own homes, and not even consider the kind of emotional impact this might have on them? I know its hardly as though foetuses aborted in hospitals are afforded the respect of any kind of graceful exit but sending it whooshing down into the sewers?

There are broadly three situations in which people have abortions: 1) when they are very young, and think having a child would be an unimaginable calamity; 2) when they are not so young and already have children, and simply cant face, for any number of reasons, another addition to their family; 3) when theyre not particularly fertile or careful, get pregnant by accident, and have a termination without batting an eyelid ....

...Forget the fact that the abortion pill is safe and effective, and rather imagine the mother of four who simply cant contemplate another child. Shes been to the clinic and taken her first pill, and she doesnt feel great. She supervises the homework, puts another batch of laundry on, sorts the childrens tea, bathtime, bedtime, then she swallows the second pill and goes to her bathroom.

I mean, if that woman was your worst enemy, youd break into her house to rescue her, or at least hold her hand. And in the morning shes expected to get up as though nothing had happened and get on with life, with nary a look back at the lavatory pan. I know were copers, but this is ridiculous. It is also completely obscene"

i just mailed you back off my thread.
to be honest i had the surgical at 7 weeks 3 years ago and they were really rough but it was a relief to have slept thru it all, and the pill ive heard is like a misscarrage which ive had 8 of, so your 5 weeks and youll be about 6 when you take the tablet so it will be like a heavy period youll not see anything there will be pain and mini contractions but they will give you what ever pain relief you want.
just make sure your happy with your decision you can only makeit once.
good luck hun if you have any questions just mail me im usually around although im trying do some painting
xxx

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. It is very dificult to do make such a decission without any input (or at least having someone to listen to me) from family and/or friends.

I appreciate your feed back.

Confused...

just mail me any questions you have