Have dreaded apple figure!...alternatives to pencil skirts

Hi Girls!

I NEED SOME DESPERATE HELP PLEASE!!!!????

OK, so I have never really been an avid follower of fashion- been more 'alternative' in style and always worn jeans, trainers and T-shirts since I left uni because the job that I have had for the last 2 years never really enforced any strict office wear dress code. But now I am going into a new job and it really does require the whole office wear thing. But not just office wear. More like toward the 'glamorous' or 'chic' (I think they call it that!) workwear like shift dresses, pencil skirts, high waisted trousers, shoe boots, heels and the like.

Problem:

I have the most awkward frame. I am only 5 ft 1" tall. Yet I'm not really all that skinny. I am an awkward size 10 on the bottom but a 12- and sometimes even a 14 on the top. Meaning I am top heavy. And I fall into the dreaded 'apple' figure category (if people are confused here, it means I am short, with skinny legs, have absolutely no ass, because its tiny, flat and shapeless, yet I have most of my chub around the tummy) I have thin limbs basically and then just this big heafty middle. I would love to contest that I have big full boobs as a result of this 'apple' frame but erm, nope I don't. They're a 36B. I hope I have given an understandable image of myself. (Think Princess Fiona from Shrek here- LOL!) Oh yes and I have no curves. My hips are narrow so I literally look like a thick stumpy 'coke can'. Ha ha!! Basically the worst figure ever. And so the only thing I have left to market myself upon is my face. (Don't worry about my profile picture-I have since, under the advice of professionals, dyed it back to black and toned it down, and taken out the facial piercings.)

Help!!?:

So basically I know that at the moment the whole look in this season is skirts, skirts skirts- and lets face it, we can't get away from the bloody high-waisted variety. I understand that this is c'est 'modern twist' on the classic pencil skirt (and believe me I have scoured Asos's workwear section to gather such evidence) but what on earth is a girl to do when neither pencil skirts, nor shift dresses nor high waists do ANYTHING for her meaty little body!!?

PENCIL SKIRTS: If I get one to fit in the waist, its miles too baggy on the hips and there is absolutely NO bumhug whatsoever which completely defeats the object of what its supposed to do- make you look curvaceous and sleek and professional. Not to mention the lengths for me are ALWAYS too awkward with the hem always falling in some weird, in-betweeny positition.

SHIFT DRESSES: No can do either. The length always looks stupid and even if I get a designated 'petite' one, tailored style dresses as such are a no go for me because of the mismatch of size issue- always too tight on top and too baggy on the bottom.

HIGH WAISTED WHATEVERS: Whether it be trousers or skirts, they simply cut my already stumpy frame in half and accentuate it. (Did I also mention that my torso is really short, too?) I have read all over the net about how its simply a fashion faux pas to dare wear this style if you are '....not tall and skinny!!'


PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE tell me tell me all you customizing expert girls out there who look like you just walked out of Sex and The City or something- HOW AN APPLE GIRL IS SUPPOSED TO LOOK 'CHIC' AND 'SOPHIS' IN HER NEW JOB AND IMPRESS!!!!!?????

For the record I actually am welcoming the transition in style and image from grunge to 'Ooh! La la!'. Its not just because of the job- I fancy a grown up change so am not trying to be someone I am not. But I just do not know where to start when this season's evil and unforgiving fashions disagree with me so much!!!

Thank you sooooooooo much ladies!

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