Teenage mum

I can't believe that the girl who had an abortion without her parents knowing is now pregnant again. Accidents happen, but for goodness sake!!

With the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe, there is something wrong with this country. Why do so many young girls think it's Ok to have babies without the financial (and sometimes emotional - if she didn't feel able to tell her mum the first time, she can't have a great relationship with her) support needed to do a good job of bringing them up? Being a single mum must be hard enough without living on benefits, I can't understand why anyone would voluntarily put themselves in that position.

If it comes down to the desire to have a baby, then I can't believe so many british teenagers could be that selfish. If it comes down to unprotected sex, then I can't believe so many could be that stupid, to be honest. They all have sex eductaion at school, so where are we going wrong??

Am pretty incensed by this actually, when there are hundreds of couples who can't have children, these girls are popping them out right, left and centre and the taxpayer gets to pay for it.

Obviously everyone's situation is different and I don't mean to offend any single/teenage mums out there in the ether! I just don't understand why we have a general trend in this direction.

I can't wait to have kids with my husband-to-be, but surely the best thing to do is to wait until you can provide for them financially to ensure they have as many advantages as possible? or am I jst old-fashioned?

What does everyone else think?

love
daisyxxx

Single teen mum, works full time, has education, has own house and cares for terminally ill mother :

heey,

I understand all that you're saying about the stereotypical teen mother but they are the minority. Most teens who fall pregnant young change their whole existances for that precious ittle child, heck I did!

So here I am. My son is 1, my house is beautiful, I am in a professional well paid job and run around after my mum who's poorly with cancer. All at the tender age of 18. Would I change anything? Nope not a thing. Everything happens for a reason to make us better and stronger people.

I am raising my son equally as well if not better than any thirty something year old. Age means nothing, what really matters is the choices you make and how you deal with life. Some older women have babies so they can doos around and sit on the dole not just teens! Why all this attention focused on teen mothers? I can't get my head round it. I love my son with all my heart and am doing/will do everything I can to ensure he's brought up properly, the way any child deserves to be brought up.

Also may I add, I don't agree with abortions being taken so lightly . its simple USE CONTRACEPTION or gear up for parenthood, you're choice. I admit some teens need to be more responsible on that front by using contraception or embracing parenthood when it happens NOT killing lives they've created.

I mean to cause no offence, I just wanted to demonstrate a good example of successful teen parenting.
Cheers Bex x x

Tv programme - looking for great teen mums and positive role models!!

ARE YOU A TEEN MUM AND A GREAT ROLE MODEL?

Teenage mums can get alot of bad press. It is often assumed they are incapable of looking after thier babies properly and that they get pregnant for all the wrong reasons...

We are looking for a teen mum who could be a fantastic role model to other young mums. Someone who appreciates the obvious struggle of being a teen parent but who has overcome the obstacles, found a way to support her baby and is able to prove that it can work and show everyone else how.

We know that there are many young mums out there who go against all the social stereotypes and who other teen mums to be would love to look up to...

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!

If you feel passionate about creating a positive image for teen mums and believe you are someone who has proved it can work please contact Leonie on leonie.hutson@rdfmedia.com

I look forward to hearing from you!

Pathetic people

i hate when people start writing and talking about teenage mothers when unless u go through it and u know what kind of situation most young mothers go through you really dont know what yiur talking about. everyone should shut there mouths because i am a young mother and i know im a better mother than most people older then me. its not sbout age. how many older mother have babys and are not financialy set up and treat there babys badly. some go to sperm donors but thats ok isnt it because there older.
i know some young mums keep having kids but guess what that happens with the older mothers too. what because there older there all perfect. theres good and bad in older and young mums. so i guess unless you know what your talking about u should shut up.

love bree

You're the best

i totally agree with you .. its not the age that matters its the love for your child .. its true you have to be more careful in a sexual relationship .. but being a young mum helps very much the child because you understand him as an older mother wouldnt ...i appriciate your courage
P.S
YOU'RE THE BEST !

Finacially secure???

If you waited until you had the money you'd never have kids!!

Just to point something out

Hi,

Felt i needed to point something out to you.

You seem to have your topics mixed up. You said 'With the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe, there is something wrong with this country. Why do so many young girls think it's Ok to have babies without the financial (and sometimes emotional - if she didn't feel able to tell her mum the first time, she can't have a great relationship with her) support needed to do a good job of bringing them up?' so you were asking about teenage mums.

Then you go on to say 'Being a single mum is hard enough' Can i just ask why you assume all these teenage mums are single mums? thats not true.

Im 18 and have an 18 month old daughter, me and her dad are still together, so im not a single parent.

I know plenty of girls my age who have unprotected sex, i know 3 of my friends have had abortions. We get stereotyped as teenage mums yet if you saw my friends you wouldn't stereotype them, they have been pregnant just like me, yet its only me that has the baby to show for it.

Youd be suprised how many teenage that people consider normal have been pregnant just not carried on with their pregnancy.

I agree financially we arent rich but we are comfortable and my daughter never has/will go without. I am more determined to succeed now than i was before and therefore feel we will have a better life out of all of this.

Kirst and Olivia

Reply to teenage mums

Daisy,

How old are you? You seem to be very narrow minded and quite a fan of the stereo-type of teenage mums.

As a 17 year old pregnant girl i was pretty mad at your post, with all due respect i understand that in some cases teenagers having babies is down to general carelessness but instead of putting the blame on them and sayin how terrible and selfish they are you should be encouraging them to make the best of the situation they're in.
Also, your comment

Cheeky

excuse me rite but im a teenage mum and i am in collage trying to get an educashion to provide for my child and you no what theres older people as well that are on benerfits not just young girls so get ur facts rite before you go round critasising people and so what if theres people that carnt have kids thats why you have them at a young age so that you actuly get a chance and not all people are talented just like me im not im dislexic as you have proberby niticed my spelling is terable that why i carnt get a good job rite now but i am working on it.

Damn haters...

FIRST OF ALL, WHO R ANY OF U 2 JUDGE TEEN MOMS..? THERE IS NOTHIN WRONG WITH HAVING KIDS AT A YOUNG AGE.. ITS THEIR CHOICE NOT YOURS.. UR NOT THE ONE SUPPORTING THE BABY R U? NO... SO TO THE HATERS.. UR OPINIONS DON'T EVEN MATTER.. BUT U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE TELLING ALL OF THE MOMS HAVING A BABY IS WHERE THEY WENT WRONG OR ITS BETTER TO GET AN ABORTION.. OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS A REASON WHY THEY HAD OR GONNA HAVE A BABY AT THEIR AGE.. AND AN ABORTION...? UMM... THAT AINT EVEN RIGHT.. KILLING A LITTLE INNOCENT BABY.. WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD KILL SOMETHING OF THEIR OWN BLOOD..
THAT'S COMPLETELY CRAZY.. IF U DON'T WANT THE BABY THEN GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION.. WHOEVER DOES THAT MUST LIVE LIFE IN REGRETS.. THEN SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING TEEN MOMS ARE STUPID.. WHAT KIND OF BULL IS THAT.. TO EVERY1 WHO SAID THAT SHUT THE HELL UP.. SORRY 2 GIVE U A REALITY CHECK BUT NOBODY GIVES A F**K WHAT U THINK UR NOT GOING THROUGH IT ARE U? NO.. SO UNTIL U DO THEN U CAN SAY SOMETHING.. TO ALL THE TEEN MOMS KEEP UR HEADS UP.. IF UR GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME RIGHT NOW DON'T WORRY.. CAUSE THROUGH OUT STORMY WEATHER, SUNSHINE ALWAYS COMES OUT IN THE END.. FORGET WHAT ANYONE SAYS U KNOW WHAT KIND OF JOB UR DOING AS A PARENT.. THE ONLY THING A MOTHER CAN DO WRONG IS WALKING OUT ON THE BABYS LIFE.. CAUSE IF THAT HAPPENS THE BABY WILL HAVE A MESSED UP LIFE.. NEVER LEAVE WHAT U CREATED LOST & LONELY IN THIS WORLD.. BUT OTHERWISE GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR U.. SO FORGET ALL HATERS.. MUCH RESPECT TO U TEEN MOMS.

I feel you in a way

im a teenage mom myself and i had my son when i was 17. now 18, i find that alot of people looked down on me. my babys dad and i are still together but ... still gets rough. but i have to disagree with you when you say haters stop hating becuase they were my motivation....they always pushed me in the direction to look back and say ha look at me now.

Damn haters...

FIRST OF ALL, WHO R ANY OF U 2 JUDGE TEEN MOMS..? THERE IS NOTHIN WRONG WITH HAVING KIDS AT A YOUNG AGE.. ITS THEIR CHOICE NOT YOURS.. UR NOT THE ONE SUPPORTING THE BABY R U? NO... SO TO THE HATERS.. UR OPINIONS DON'T EVEN MATTER.. BUT U HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE TELLING ALL OF THE MOMS HAVING A BABY IS WHERE THEY WENT WRONG OR ITS BETTER TO GET AN ABORTION.. OBVIOUSLY THERE WAS A REASON WHY THEY HAD OR GONNA HAVE A BABY AT THEIR AGE.. AND AN ABORTION...? UMM... THAT AINT EVEN RIGHT.. KILLING A LITTLE INNOCENT BABY.. WHO IN THE RIGHT MIND WOULD KILL SOMETHING OF THEIR OWN BLOOD..
THAT'S COMPLETELY CRAZY.. IF U DON'T WANT THE BABY THEN GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION.. WHOEVER DOES THAT MUST LIVE IN HELL.. THEN SOME PEOPLE ARE SAYING TEEN MOMS ARE STUPID.. WHAT KIND OF BULL IS THAT.. TO EVERY1 WHO SAID THAT SHUT THE HELL UP.. SORRY 2 GIVE U A REALITY CHECK BUT NOBODY GIVES A ... WHAT U THINK UR NOT GOING THROUGH IT ARE U? NO.. SO UNTIL U DO THEN U CAN SAY SOMETHING.. TO ALL THE TEEN MOMS KEEP UR HEADS UP.. IF UR GOING THROUGH A HARD TIME RIGHT NOW DON'T WORRY.. CAUSE THROUGH OUT STORMY WEATHER, SUNSHINE ALWAYS COMES OUT IN THE END.. FORGET WHAT ANYONE SAYS U KNOW WHAT KIND OF JOB UR DOING AS A PARENT.. THE ONLY THING A MOTHER CAN DO WRONG IS WALKING OUT ON THE BABYS LIFE.. CAUSE IF THAT HAPPENS THE BABY WILL HAVE A MESSED UP LIFE.. NEVER LEAVE WHAT U CREATED LOST & LONELY IN THIS WORLD.. BUT OTHERWISE GOD WILL PROVIDE FOR U.. SO FORGET ALL HATERS.. MUCH RESPECT TO U TEEN MOMS.

Stop it

i think that teens need to be fully aware of the consequences of their actions as a teen my self i know the risks of unsafe sex and wont put myself through the pain of having to give up a baby. having said that i would love to have children one day when i can afford to suppport them myself. Every situation is different dont judge them.

Let me have my say...

I would like to give my view across before anyone makes assumptions about me.
I'm 16 years old and have just left secondry school last month. I know i may sound very "arrogant" but i know in my heart of hearts that im completely ready for a baby. I dont want to be with a man, and would like to be a single parent, however selfish that may seem to people who don't know me.
I'm not your typical teenager, who doesn't flaunt themselves around, go out every night of the week getting drunk and sleeping around, nor do i want too. I think im a rather sensiable girl who has thought my desision through completely.
I am in a fab position, having a good amount of money coming in, with a 10 hour per week job at Sainsburys, which brings in around about £200 a month. I also get Disability Living Allowance for having a joint problem (which may i add does NOT make me a cripple and benifet frauder), for £200 as well as having a car for the reason stated before.
I think personally i am in a really good position, i would have housing (a 2 bedroom flat) to live in, and this would be fully furnished as my mum is moving in with her fiance of 14 years, leaving it to me.
I would love to have someone to love, cherish, and depend on me. I have love to give the child, and love the thought of being a younger mum.

I would like to hear other peoples opinoins on how it appears to other people.
Please leave comments about this, and ill soon get back.

Many Thanks for reading my hugely long letter!!

Love MeAndPotentialBump
xxx

This saddens me

Your post saddens me alot.

There is no way on earth you can be emotionally ready to have a child at 16. It is not just about the pregnancy not the giving birth but the continual battles you will face for the next 18 years or more. I truly think some people go into these pregnancies just thinking in the short term of someone to love and who will love you unconditionally but are you ready to support a child not only financially but emotionally? The easiest part of being a mum is the first 4 years or so it is only after this that the problems really start. Are they being bullied at school, are they doing their homework, are they making friends, are they being led astray by others or the opposite are they the bully, are they integrating into their class...and so on and so on for the rest of your life.

As for those who are mouthing off about how good a mum they are etc I would say that none of us mums are perfect and the best we can hope is for our children to get through childhood mostly unscathed and be good citizens.

I would like to know how the young mums on here support their children. Are you all working hard and giving your child a role model to things to aspire too or are you claiming benefits and staying at home?

I would guess from most of you that the latter would be the case and if it is do you think it is fair that the tax payers of the country are paying for the upkeep of you and your child when they are struggling themselves financially?

I would suggest that most girls would grow out of this need for a child if they were better educated, told that they should value themselves as an individual who can be what she wants to be if she is willing to work hard and earn the respect of others.

What wrong with the world

I fed up of hearing about poverty and murders why is this happering send me your views i'm turely fed up

I agree

where all i a bubble of lies and we don't konw it we need to foucas on the propper thhings in life not worry bout small things

Young mums!!!

You must agree that there are so many teenage mums out there who do not take adequate care of their children, which does result in the minority of teenage mums who do look after and care for their children getting judged unfairly. I do completely understand where you are coming from, I to would love a child but as a student nurse who has just finished a placement along side a Health Visitor I feel that I could not personally look after a child. I seen some horrible sights, during a four week placement five children were removed from their homes and put on the child protection register, all of whom had parents under the age of eighteen, and that is just the children that I seen. I personally feel like I want to have a life before I bring a child into the world, I want to be able to go out with my friends and get drunk, I want to be able to go on nice holidays and buy nice clothes, and get the job I want with a good wage where I can support a child. I may sound selfish but it is want I want and it is my life, I would hate to resent a child for spoiling my youth. I don't think teenagers understand just how hard it is to look after a child, and just how expensive it is. From the day you find out you are pregnant your life changes forever, your friends won't stick around....they love the new bundle of joy until their taxi arrives to take them out for a night out on the town, and they soon get bored. You have to worry about so much, you have to think about depression, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, sleeping, how children develop, safety, immunisations etc and that is justt the start. You may have everything sorted out, lucky you I wish I was getting a nice flat for nothing lol. You might want to have someone to love, cherish, and depend on you, and the thought of being a younger mum does sound cool, but then that does just show how immature I am. Looking through all the previous post from girls defending themselves (which I must say they do have a right to do, some people have been very harsh) they should head back to school and get an education, their spelling is terrible....Good luck for the future and take care!!!X

Respect your views

i repsect your feelings but you are only 16 years of age you have a life time ahead of you while you may be sensable you are still a child your self can you really sacrifice your teen hood for a baby. why not study childcare you can attend placements that have babies.

No help for the honest hard worker

i think you are totally right. I am a 23 year old woman and ive been with my partner for 5 years. we are saving hard for a house together. i have no children and will not have any until i am in a position to SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY. not rely on every taxpayer to put nappies on its rear end. i know girls who i went to school with and they are living on new housing estates with garages and conservatorys and just got grants for extentions for extra kiddie playroom and they aint even worked a day in their life, they get £22,000 a year through variuos governemnt schemes and monies. they got pregant strait from school. and the DSS pay for their rent on these new houses. i been saving 5 years and aint even no where near what i need for a house deposit. i work full time and so does my partner and have done so since the age of 16 even during college and uni. Now, its all very well saying im a great mother blah blah blah but being a full time working mum, now thats summit to be proud of. of course if you sit on ya backside all day long and play with your kid coz you aint got responsibilites and a job to go to then you will be a great mum!i worked in supermarkets and the young teenage mums use the milk tokens for fags and normal milk. I have one motto, if you are a working full time single mum then i have much respect for you. the goverment pay for childcare these days so theres no xcuse. its easier to sit on ya rearside all day though aint it and smoke a fag and bash the next one out!contraception is FREE and when taking correctly ( not with half a bottle of vodka every nyte ) will stop you getting pregant. you all need to read the instructions on the side of the box properly.theres no xcuses.

DONT SPREAD 'EM UNLESS YOU CAN PAY FOR 'EM !

I can see ur point............

im 18 yrs old an have a 7 month old baby im single an was all the way through my pregnancy, although me an her father are not together we are still resonable with each other he is 20 soon an works full time an givs me money towards her i havnt gone back to work yet as i will not leave my baby for some other fucker to look after weather childcare costs are paid for or not its not right u miss the most important parts of ur childs life if u do. im starting my own bizness up tho very soon cause i hate being on benifits so if i cant leave her ill bring the kids to me iv been working with children since leaving school so its what i enjoy.