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Teenage mum

 

I can't believe that the girl who had an abortion without her parents knowing is now pregnant again. Accidents happen, but for goodness sake!!

With the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe, there is something wrong with this country. Why do so many young girls think it's Ok to have babies without the financial (and sometimes emotional - if she didn't feel able to tell her mum the first time, she can't have a great relationship with her) support needed to do a good job of bringing them up? Being a single mum must be hard enough without living on benefits, I can't understand why anyone would voluntarily put themselves in that position.

If it comes down to the desire to have a baby, then I can't believe so many british teenagers could be that selfish. If it comes down to unprotected sex, then I can't believe so many could be that stupid, to be honest. They all have sex eductaion at school, so where are we going wrong??

Am pretty incensed by this actually, when there are hundreds of couples who can't have children, these girls are popping them out right, left and centre and the taxpayer gets to pay for it.

Obviously everyone's situation is different and I don't mean to offend any single/teenage mums out there in the ether! I just don't understand why we have a general trend in this direction.

I can't wait to have kids with my husband-to-be, but surely the best thing to do is to wait until you can provide for them financially to ensure they have as many advantages as possible? or am I jst old-fashioned?

What does everyone else think?

love
daisyxxx


 

Young mums!!!

by:kayr87

You must agree that there are so many teenage mums out there who do not take adequate care of their children, which does result in the minority of teenage mums who do look after and care for their children getting judged unfairly. I do completely understand where you are coming from, I to would love a child but as a student nurse who has just finished a placement along side a Health Visitor I feel that I could not personally look after a child. I seen some horrible sights, during a four week placement five children were removed from their homes and put on the child protection register, all of whom had parents under the age of eighteen, and that is just the children that I seen. I personally feel like I want to have a life before I bring a child into the world, I want to be able to go out with my friends and get drunk, I want to be able to go on nice holidays and buy nice clothes, and get the job I want with a good wage where I can support a child. I may sound selfish but it is want I want and it is my life, I would hate to resent a child for spoiling my youth. I don't think teenagers understand just how hard it is to look after a child, and just how expensive it is. From the day you find out you are pregnant your life changes forever, your friends won't stick around....they love the new bundle of joy until their taxi arrives to take them out for a night out on the town, and they soon get bored. You have to worry about so much, you have to think about depression, breastfeeding, bottle feeding, sleeping, how children develop, safety, immunisations etc and that is justt the start. You may have everything sorted out, lucky you I wish I was getting a nice flat for nothing lol. You might want to have someone to love, cherish, and depend on you, and the thought of being a younger mum does sound cool, but then that does just show how immature I am. Looking through all the previous post from girls defending themselves (which I must say they do have a right to do, some people have been very harsh) they should head back to school and get an education, their spelling is terrible....Good luck for the future and take care!!!X

 

Respect your views

by:30104288

i repsect your feelings but you are only 16 years of age you have a life time ahead of you while you may be sensable you are still a child your self can you really sacrifice your teen hood for a baby. why not study childcare you can attend placements that have babies.

 

No help for the honest hard worker

i think you are totally right. I am a 23 year old woman and ive been with my partner for 5 years. we are saving hard for a house together. i have no children and will not have any until i am in a position to SUPPORT THEM FINANCIALLY. not rely on every taxpayer to put nappies on its rear end. i know girls who i went to school with and they are living on new housing estates with garages and conservatorys and just got grants for extentions for extra kiddie playroom and they aint even worked a day in their life, they get £22,000 a year through variuos governemnt schemes and monies. they got pregant strait from school. and the DSS pay for their rent on these new houses. i been saving 5 years and aint even no where near what i need for a house deposit. i work full time and so does my partner and have done so since the age of 16 even during college and uni. Now, its all very well saying im a great mother blah blah blah but being a full time working mum, now thats summit to be proud of. of course if you sit on ya backside all day long and play with your kid coz you aint got responsibilites and a job to go to then you will be a great mum!i worked in supermarkets and the young teenage mums use the milk tokens for fags and normal milk. I have one motto, if you are a working full time single mum then i have much respect for you. the goverment pay for childcare these days so theres no xcuse. its easier to sit on ya rearside all day though aint it and smoke a fag and bash the next one out!contraception is FREE and when taking correctly ( not with half a bottle of vodka every nyte ) will stop you getting pregant. you all need to read the instructions on the side of the box properly.theres no xcuses.

DONT SPREAD 'EM UNLESS YOU CAN PAY FOR 'EM !

 

I can see ur point............

by:emma17171

im 18 yrs old an have a 7 month old baby im single an was all the way through my pregnancy, although me an her father are not together we are still resonable with each other he is 20 soon an works full time an givs me money towards her i havnt gone back to work yet as i will not leave my baby for some other fucker to look after weather childcare costs are paid for or not its not right u miss the most important parts of ur childs life if u do. im starting my own bizness up tho very soon cause i hate being on benifits so if i cant leave her ill bring the kids to me iv been working with children since leaving school so its what i enjoy.

 

Do you even know what ur talkin about?

by:calinsmama

FIRST OFF..WOW. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT COSTS TO HAVE A BABY? CLOSE TO 4,000 $'S THAT DOESNT INCLUDE PRE- OR POST- NATAL CARE. ADD IT ALL UP ITS ABOUT 20,000-30,000 $'S. IF IN 5 YEARS U CANT SAVE UP FOR A DOWN PAYMENT ON A HOUSE WHAT MAKES YOU THINK U CAN AFFORD A BABY?INSURANCE HELPS...BUT ONLY A LITTLE. ALOT OF FAMILIES USE MEDICAID FOR BIRTHS. IF QUALIFIED. AND THEY WORK THEIR ASSES OFF. IMA TEEN MOM WHO WORKS FULL TIME FROM 2:30 TO 11:30 AT NIGHT. AND I STILL QUALIFIED FOR MEDICAID...SORRY THAT YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BLAH BLAH BLAH ABOUT TAX DOLLARS. IF IT IRRATATES YOU THAT BADLY QUIT PAYING TAXES. THERE ARE THOSE WHO SIT ON THEIR ASSES BUT NOW A DAYS THERE ARE ORGANIZATIONS THAT YOU HAVE TO ATTEND IF YOU ARE RECIEVING BENEFITS. THEY MAKE PEOPLE WHO ARE CAPABLE OF GETTING JOBS GET THEM! SO BEFORE YOU START RUNNING YOUR MOUTH PUT YOURSELF IN THEIR SITUATION....YOU'LL FEEL EXTRA STUPID WHEN THAT "OOPS" HAPPENS AND YOUR ON WELFARE ALONG WITH THE OTHERS....

 

Teenage=single?

why do so many people but teenage mums and single mums in the same catagory.you dont have to be a teenager to be a single parent,any parent can become a single parent if the relationship is not working.i agree that a lot of young people may not be able to handle a lot of the issues faced in an ''adult'' relationship, but many adults cant either! it annoys me that when people see i am a young parent they assume i am alone.my partner is a loving, hard working and devoted young father!!

 

Hi

by:xmummyxdanix

mine 2 and my boyfreind loves his son and would do anythink for him and soon were thinking about tring for another

 

Right on!!

by:calinsmama

you are sooooo right...my babys father and i are still together...but i think people just look at statistics and dont use their brains. good for you!

 

No doubt!

by:africanqueen8

right on gal

 

S

Don't you think if God DIDN'T want the abortion, it wouldn't have happened? Secondly, taxpayers don't pay for abortions, only for clinics that "privately" do them (ya know..you pay out the ... .literally..ha ha). Also, babies are everywhere, and the Earth is literally shrinking in size. I advocated 1st-30th trimester "abortions", as it helps control the population. Like hunting, only more delicious and less harmful to the environment. God Bless.

 

Young mums

Hi First post and it looks like a big start lol.

My thoughts on this post....

It does start at home you have to have open communitcation between parents and children it should start from a young age. Of course parents can not control there children every move but these days I think young women and men need to be more educated on safe sex therfore less diseases and pregnancies.

Sometimes life doesn't always go to plan like marry then have children. Make the best of what you have



 

Hi

by:xmummyxdanix

and can i just say somethink i did not get sex educashion in school cathlic schools are not allowed to tel you to go on the pill because its against the religen.

 

Why is it

why is it ok for people to slag off teenage parents about having children saying they cant look after them but its ok if your an older woman in your 40s /50s having children , when your not as fit as you were , and it will be more of a toll on an older body than a younger one .
teenage mums are here there going no where, and what about the dads????? when are people going to blame them it takes a man to make a baby too , a girl cant do it herself , theres alot of shallow ignorant people who want to think of the bigger picture before opening there trap to insult single/teenage mothers.

 

Haha

by:xmummyxdanix

yes you are rite it dose take a man as well good on you and can i just say i can look after my child just as good all all you old gets so get a life n SHUT UP!

 

Hm?

ur right its called temptation?

 

You come accross so empty headed!!!

I understand you may be feeling the way you do but i was a young single mother and i had to face one minded ... like yourself and do you know what the best thing is i proved them all wrong!!!! I agree girls should not be using abortions as a contraceptive but at least these girls who are having these children are being strong and standing up to everyone and doing the hard thing which is actually having the child! People like yourself and everyother mother or woman who want children should be there giving emotional support to this girls instead of bringing them down! You go on about these girls bringing there children up on benefits well people like you don't help do you!!!!! Be supportive and i am telling you if there were more positive and confident young mothers out there, they will have the confidence to go out get a job and bring that child up right all they need is guidence not ARSEHOLES. And hey just look around you i am sure there are older woman around you who don't cope and are useless mothers so STOP BLAMING THE TEENS AND START OPENING YOUR EYES!!!!!!

 

Teenage mum

hi

i'm replying to your teenage mum message.

i think it's wrong for people to stereotype people. just because a woman may of had a baby in her teens doesn't mean she's stupid or selfish.

when i left school i joined the army, loved it. The next year i was home on leave and met my then boyfriend Rick. I was 17 by 2 weeks when i fell pregnant. To get to the point i left the army married Rick through love not obligation and 3 years on were very happy as a family.

to join the army you can't be selfish nor stupid, infact i got very good grades at school and am now studying a foundation degree and working in a secondary school, next year i shall start work based teacher training.

when i met rick he earnt £65 p/w when he found out we were havinga baby he worked his arse of and know is earnin £45k basic, im very proud of him

we've never claimed a single benefit so before people band all teenage mums together they should take them for individuals.

Were doing so well infact were thinking of an independant school for our son.
you never hear the goodside to teenage mums.

i had no sex ed when i was at school and when im fully qualified that is something i'd like to specialize on.

i no you wasn't trying to offend anybody but people don't always know the sitution, however i know yung girls who's had babys just to get a council house and other stupid reasons. i don't think it's a question of age rather than a level of maturity.

does that make sense?

 

I totally agree

by:kamica1

I had my daughter when i was 17 years old. I did everything on my own from the beginning to now. I make many scarifices everyday to make sure my daughter has everything and to make sure that i dont fall under a stereotype. I work full time and I go to night school, so that i may better myself and provide a future for my daughter and myself. I dont regret havinf my daughter, yes it was a setback for the goals that I wanted to achieve but having my daughter did not stop my dreams. I worked really hard to get where i am now, and i take all negative comments and dirty looks i may get from people and use it as motivation to prove i am not just another teenage mother.

 

Tv documentry

Hi there

I hope you don't mind me contacting you.I am a TV Producer working for Brighter Pictures which is part of Endemol Productions. This is the biggest independent TV Company in the UK. Please see www.endemoluk.com

We are producing a series of documentaries about teenagers.The aim of the documentaries is to look at teenagers in the UK today who are unique and achieving extraordinary things at a young age.

The documentaries will tell the stories of these teenagers and will aim to let the audience in to this individuals life for the hour of the film, so they see the world from this persons point of view.The idea is to educate and people about the real lives of teenagers today.

I am very interested in making an hour long film about a teenager who is pregnant/or a parent.The film would be a fly of the wall documentry that observed their day to day life and told their story.

If you are interested in being involved please email me on claire.morrison@endemoluk.com with some info about yourself and a daytime phone number

I appreciate any help you can offer.

Many thanks

Claire Morrison



 

I know what your saying

girls we think that we can do waht we want when we want and without are parents knowing anything about it at all. and if girls are having sex they should be safe not all loosey goosey.

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