David beckham's special diet!
Hooray for David Beckham! He is the best ever. Theres no one playing the sport of soccer that bonks the ball the way he does. His kicks are like thunder, and his headbutts could smoosh a coconut. Soccer enthusiasts around the world should thank David Beckham for being so amazing. He is a great American. I am a huge fan!
I recently heard that he drinks a gallon of cat milk every day as part of a special diet. Supposedly, he has a machine in his home gym thats been specially designed to hold up to 20 pregnant cats at a time. He just presses a button and extraction begins! Is there any truth to this? Can someone confirm please? Why doesnt he just drink regular milk, or try some sort of muscle gainer? Where was he able to find nipple clamps that tiny? I looked online, and the smallest ones I could find were made to fit pygmy horses. It just seems like the whole process would be a hassle. But then again, its all probably still better than doing the milking by hand. Cats are fussy!
Anyways, who am I to give David Beckham advice on how to live his life? Nobody, thats who! David is the fantastic champ! He splats the ball like nobodys business, and if its cat milk that got him there, then let him swallow it in gulps. We should all donate our own cats to the cause! Does anyone have his address? I will send him every stray I can catch!
David Beckham is the one and only. Lets all hoot and shreik for the man who runs on cat power. He is soccers first American superstar, and we should be proud. Go Beckham, go! Score a million goals this year! You can do it! EEEEEEE!!!!!
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