So confused

Just wanted some other peoples points of view. It's quite complicated but here goes. I was with me boyfriend for 5 years (bought a flat together and got engaged etc) when he told me that he was seeing someone he worked with we worked things out, as it wasnt serious (eg he hadnt slept with her). However things esculated and i discoved he had been away with her at which point i chucked him out. The problem was i still had very strong feelings for him and kept in touch. January this year he told me that he was moving back to his parents (150 miles away)I told him that that was it no contact except to sort things out, he begged me to to reconsider. He bombared me with presents (rings, a laptop, flowers)at the time i was finishing teaching training and was very busy so didnt see him much but once i had finished i looked for jobs in the area he had moved to. Although I did want to be with him i got cold feet it was such a big step restarting the relationship, starting a new career and mving to a new area. June this year he came to stay with me and i asked him whether he had seen anyone else and he said no which i later discoved not to be true (flaming facebook!)and he was seeing a girl 10 years younger than him. Anyway a couple of weekends ago he came to stay to sort out his things, i asked him where he wanted to sleep (we only have 1 bedroom) and decided to join me in bed. Over the weekend we slipped back into being a couple (which was lovely)and "slept" together several times. He said he felt guilty about his girlfriend but that she would never find out. But he also said that he didnt want to give me up and still felt we were the perfect fit.
I'm so confused because i dont want to give him up either, his girlfriend will be back soon (shes at uni where he lives). What should i do? I have written to him to explain how i feel but he has been very quiet when i asked if he was ignoring me he said he wasnt he was just very busy. Help!
Kitty xx

Hi kitty

oh darls this is the trouble with hanging on to dead relationships!! you keep drifting back for more pain...of course when the breakup happened you still had feelings for him - but you also had been lied to and cheated on!! and he is still doing it now.....and now you are doing to his girlfriend what was done to you...thats not nice is it?? ok you teach? if one of your students came to you and said"....um...this looks rotten , um...it behaves rotten,....um...even when you change its environment it still behaves rotten...." i think you would tell them that they have there a rotten thing!! dont be fooled by presents and the odd weekend of sex....he said he felt guilty - for goodness sake why was he doing it then??? really its time to move on - he has proved over and over that he is not worth your time so just be strong , find lots to keep you busy , have fun - go out with the girls (i know youre in a new area-just get out there and meet other girls!)and hey the stuff about having sex with him while his girls away....dont make a habit of that ok? we need look after each other - men give us enough grief-women should be good to each other....go have fun and dont look back!! xx

Hi

I've never been in your situation but it sounds like he's using you, I'm sorry to say.

From what you've said it sounds like he was still interested and you refused, but that only made you hard to get which men like, a challenge. So when you give in, it was ok etc, you said things he said things, maybe only to make you happy?

Now you've confessed your true feelings, you probably scared him. If I were you I've forget him and move on its obvious he thought he could have his cake and eat it and Your worth much better than a two timing cheat.

Sorry if it sounds sharp Sophy xx